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Complicated situation - love quadrillateral.
I'm male, 17, and in high school.
Two of my friends, let's call them Enrique and Polly, went out for about nine months. Enrique is probably my best friend, and during this time, I became good friends with Polly as well. Recently (a few months ago or so), they broke up, and they've both gone through ups and downs, getting back together, breaking up again, dating other people, etc. Finally, it seems that they've really broken it off. I hang out with both of them a lot, but separately, because they feel awkward together. And I'm starting to get the impression that Polly likes me.
Now, the complicated part. I've had a purely physical (f-buddy) relationship with a girl I know, let's call her Edna, for the past month or so. We've made out many times and had sex once, and the tricky part is that we're both emotionally shy, and I'm not sure how she feels about me. She may want something more out of the relationship, and I'm confused as to whether she just wants an open thing going like we already have or if she would care if I dated someone else.
Unfortunately, long story short, Polly and I ended up making out. We got caught up in the moment and a lot of feelings came out, but now I'm in an unusual place. Polly feels that we need to tell Enrique. Enrique is going to be very upset when he hears this. As an added element, I'm worried about what Edna will think, since I'm not sure what she wants out of our relationship. I'm really confused as to what I should do here.
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hmmm well this could get tricky, trying to be friends with everyone and not hurt anybody is difficult, i've been there. i think first of all, deal with edna, tell her the truth, be like i kinda did some stuff with another girl and i want to know what you want from me andhow you feel about me and blah blah blah. after that if polly really really has the need to tell enrique then tell him. honesty is the best policy and if he really is your best friend he will understand.
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i think that you should sit them each down and talk them out. honestly the edna girl has no right to be mad cause your not commited..but i can see where you get that feeling from.
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FIRST you ask "edna" what she wants out of the relations ship jsut ask her .then after you find that out you talk to "pollY" then you talk to "enruque". hope i helped if you need any other help my advicecolom is askforanswersfromAndie.
hope i helped
Andie
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I lost my bestfriend of seven years to an ex girlfriend of mine, because he lacked the balls to actually talk to me about what happened, and I harbored ill feelings towards him for quite a while. Talk to him first. If he doesn't like the idea of you going out with Polly, then don't go out with Polly for his sake, because if you do what kind of friend are you? A bad one, right? Now, that a year has passed since the falling out of the two most important people of my life is over, I'm happy for them, and maybe just maybe Enrique won't care that you like her, and he'll respect that you like her. Either way someone's bound to be labeled as the bad friend someway, somehow.
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The question isn't what Edna wants, its what do you want?
If you don't have any feelings for Edna other than keeping her around for sex...get out of the relationship. If she wants more than you do from it, stringing her along will only be harder on her in the end.
If you and Polly are good together, go for it. Enrique may be mad for a minute but, he'll get over it. :)
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You definitely need to discuss this with everyone involved, but first you need to figure out what you want. But regardless of whatever you want, you need to tell Enrique & Edna about what happened.
Decide what you want with Polly & talk to her-- if you both want a relationship, is it worth potentially destroying your relationship with Enrique? Keep in mind that friendships tend to last longer than romantic relationships & if things with you & Polly don't work out, which chances are they won't, then you'll need someone to turn to-- so don't go screwing your support over if you can't handle the consequences.
If you want to be just friends with Polly, talk with her & make sure to get the point across. You still need to tell Enrique.
What do you want with Edna? If you want a relationship, you need to come clean about everything (which really, you should do anyway) & be honest with her. Overcoming the shy thing may be difficult, but worse things have happened. Apologize for making out with Polly when you had something with Edna, but point out that you weren't exclusive but you'd like to make it that way. Promise to remain faithful-- & live up to that proimse.
If you're going to be with Polly, end your friends with benefits relationship with Edna & let her know that you didn't mean to hurt her, but you weren't officially together so it's not like you cheated on her.
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hey ! woah there, that was long. Okay well thats a really tough situation to be in, and I have to say its great that you dont want to end up hurting anyones feelings at the end. I say before you do anything else, talk to Edna about whats going on. I mean if you 2 are capable of having sex and hooking up then you're also capable of talking about whats to become of this relationship or "thing" that you 2 have. Id sit her down and be like listen I need to know how you feel about me, if im just going to be ur F*** buddy or anything more. With Polly I would first ask myself if the make out session with her was just a spur of the moment thing or do you really have something for her. If you dont then you move on and tell Polly that you really didnt mean 4 it to happen but you dont feel that way about her. If you DO have feelings for Polly and DO want to be with her, then get up the courage and talk to Enrique about this. If your his friend then you 2 wil somehow work this out. It won't be easy because he might feel hurt but you should also tell him that you'd rather tell him the truth and right now then later him finding it out on his own.
I hope I helped, and def. let me know how it works out okay ?
xO =)
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hmm..wow! that is like, really complicated! well i'm a girl so maybe i can give you some tips on how to most easily do this.......well it first depends on which girl you really want to be with. from just reading this it sounds like polly. so you have to tell edna that you're really sorry and hope she's not mad but you've found someone else who you like, and you think you two should see other people. she might be hurt at first, but since she hasnt hinted that she wants your relationship to go further, maybe there's someone she's crushing on too. as for your friend, well yeah it sounds like he liked polly, and she WAS HIS g/f. but before you talk to polly, be sure to talk this out with enrique. tell him your feelings for polly (maybe dont tell him you two made out though that might make him mad right now) tell him that you understand that the two of them went out but now you like polly, and if he doesnt mind that you want to go out with her. remember though he is your friend and if he doesnt want you two going out, then you shouldnt. hope i helped good luck!
xoxo helpachick
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