Bio♥
Hey, I'm Melody! I've been giving advice on and off since 2003. I'm a 23 year old military wife, expecting a baby boy in August, and working on my Bachelor's degree. :)
Oh, and ask me anything!
Advice
how can you tell if a place is sanitary/safe or not? if i go to a city and some bustling street the shop must be okay, right?
To answer your second question, just because you are in some bustling street doesn't mean the shop will be sanitary.
You can tell by looking around first of all. If the place just looks nasty, then it probably is. You should also research the place. Find people that have gotten piercings there before, and ask about what kind of experience they had there.
Also make sure the peron doing your piercing uses sterile needles, rings, etc. The needle should come out of a package. If it doesn't, then don't allow him or her to pierce you. Another thing to remember, piercing guns are not sterile, so if the shop uses them, I would find another shop if I were you.
I was rated a 5 ♥
so ive binged.. and "purged" three times before. the third time tonight. i ate a lot of bad food and ive been workig out so much i felt like i have failed myself i dont want to get fat so i after i ate i panicked and threw it up. the first two times i did it i said id neverrrr again do that to myself. but i did, again tonight. im saying again to myself i wont do that again! i know its horrible. but now that ive done it a third time could this be a serious problem? what can happen if i keep this up? is doing it 3 times harmful or only if i continue? how do i stop?
Forcing yourself to throw up is never good for you, however if you have only done it three times you should be okay..if you stop now.
The way you think is not healthy, and it is best to talk about these feelings with someone. A guidance councelor, therapist, parent,.. someone.
Continue doing this, and you are in trouble. There are many short and long term effects of bulimia, and none of them are good.
Some of the short term effects include teeth erosion and decay from your stomach acids. Did you know that most severe bulimics have to have their teeth capped at some point in their life? You may say you are not a severe bulimic, but if you keep down the path you are on now, one day you will be. Vomiting also causes an electrolyte imbalance which depletes your body of potassium. At first this may just cause muscle spasms and weakness, but later in life it can cause heart attacks.
At some point you may also have tears in your esophagus or experience stomach ulcers.
Some of your organs that you are putting at risk include your heart, kidney, brain, digestive system, bones, skin and endocrine glands.
Your menstruation cycle also gets messed up. If you continue this, you may never be able to conceive a baby. This may not seem like a big deal to you now, but when you are an adult ready to start a family, this will be a huge deal.
I was rated a ♥
me n my boyfriend are white and my best friend is black. my boyfriend makes raceist comments and jokes alottt. what can i do?? im never gona leave either of them and i already tell them to stop..?
If your boyfriend knows you would never leave him, then what incentive does he have to change? You need to make it clear that his racist comments will not be tolerated, and if he does not respect this, it is time to find a boyfriend that will.
Obviously your boyfriend has a lack of maturity, and perhaps the reason he makes these remarks is because he has never been taught not too. You can be the one that teaches him this, but you must be firm.
Good luck with this situation.
I was rated a 5 ♥
how bad does it hurt when a girl loses her virginity? is it REALLY painful?
and i also heard that sometimes the girl bleeds, but then some of my friends told me that they didn't...so when do you bleed?
and does it ever hurt the second time?
It really depends on the girl. It's not really painful if the girl is relaxed and lubricated. If she is tensed up and dry, then it will be very painful.
A girl will bleed if her hymen has not been ripped. If it has, then she probably won't. It can hurt the second time, it just once again depends on how relaxed and lubricated she is.
[=
I was rated a 5 ♥
okay so you know the book crank?
by ellen something or other? it's about like how some girl gets addicted to like crack or something and how she loses herself to it. and how she like gets herself back right?
well they even have it at my school library, and everyone at my school is reading it.
i go to a public school, and my older sister goes to a private lutheran school.
she claims that one of her classmates got like 5 detentions just for having that book at school.
their school is a little different though...
and she does have a history of making things up.
and right before she told my mom this, i wouldn't let her use my shampoo & conditioner. i think this was some type of revenge?
anyways, my mom took it away from me after that and was like "i wonder if i should send you to a religious school before you go over the deep end."
and i'm like WHAT?! because i've never done drugs or even come close to them. i make good grades, and good decisions, and i don't see why she'd even say that.
just because of a few books i read.
and i've read like burned, by that same author and she didn't have a problem with that.
so she took the book away, and won't let me read it.
of course i'm just gonna read it somewhere else, because i should be able to decide what i read.
what do you guys think?
i'm 14/f if that has a difference.
I read a ton of books, and many of them have been very contraversial. I get most of them from my public school library as well.
Crank (It's Ellen Hopkins by the way) was one of the worst I have read. I am a little on edge about whether or not it should have been in the library at all. There is also a sequel called Glass that was equally disturbing. Burned was also messed up, as was Identical. Identical is one of her newer books that has just as much drug use along with promiscuous sex and incest. It was so disturbing that it made me sick to my stomach and made my skin crawl.
Books such as:
-Crank, Burned, Glass, & Identical
-Lovely Bones & Lucky; By Alice Sebold
-Go Ask Alice; Author unknown
are all books that have been banned in many public libraries, and for good reason. It takes a very mature reader to be able to read the books without it effecting them. I read Go Ask Alice as a young girl, and it effected me a lot.
These books literally make me sick, but at the same time I like the fact that I have the freedom and the right to read them at my school. You should respect your mom's wishes. I don't know if I would want my children reading these books, though I would still probably let them. I believe in a cruel way, this has made me feel lucky that I have not fallen victim to these things, and I believe in the end it will keep me from ever falling victim.
Talk to your mom, and tell her how you feel.
I was rated a 5 ♥
If you're a virgin, and you've never done anything.
Are you automatically tight?
and howdp you know if you're tight?
No.
The bigger the person, the larger the vagina is set. A big girl will have a bigger vagina, and vice-versa.
When people say vaginas are tight, it's because their hymens haven't been ripped, and aside from tampons, nothing else has been up there before.
When a person says a girl is loose, it's because they have so much sex, that their vaginas stay large enough to accomodate a penis all the time. When a girl goes without sex for a while, her vagina stays at it's normal size.
The only time a vagina should physically change would be after having a baby. And even then, they stitch you back up to your original size. ;]
Regardless of size, the only time sex should hurt is if a person is tensed up and not lubricated well enough. Though the first time will be slightly uncomfortable, it should not hurt.
I was rated a 5 ♥
i want to no if i can use baby oil when i go tanning...will it burn me or tan me???
You can tan with baby oil. I personally like too. They also make tanning oil, which is essentially the same thing. I like the results, and I think I get tanner when I use it as opposed to tanning lotion.
You should only use it if you are tanning outdoors. Using it in a tanning bed will just cause a nasty mess, and isn't good for the tanning bed.
Remember that any kind of tanning is bad for your skin. It does cause skin cancer, so it isn't safe. However it will only burn you if you stay out in the sun too long. When you feel yourself start to get hot, it's time to go inside or use some SPF lotion. =]
I was rated a ♥
16/F
So saturday and sunday I smoked (like 2 cigs and 4 pulls of hooka) and drank like there was no tomorrow. Then, last night and this morning, I noticed the skin around my nails, not exactly my nails just the surrounding areas, are really yellow. I don't eat much, so it's not likely that I dug my hands into food or liquid. What little food I do eat I throw up a few minutes later. Could it be the smoking, the drinking, or the bulimia? Will it go away or should I go to the doctor? Absolutely no speeches, I just want to know if the yellowing will go away or if it's something serious. Thanks in advance.
No lecture intended, the way you are living your life is dangerous. So you shouldn't be suprised that everything you are doing is starting to catch up with you.
It could be from smoking or it could be from your bulemia.
Your smoking could just be staining your skin. Not neccessarily life threatening, but definitely pretty nasty.
You said you didn't eat a lot, and yellowing of the skin is a symptom of anorexia. Eating disorders go hand in hand, so this could be it.
Either way, you should go to the doctor. You are obviously not a healthy kid.
I was rated a ♥
Hey im 18/f and my boyfriend is 21/m. Tonight we had unprotected sex and he accidently cummed in me. Im on YAZ birth control and never miss any days. We are talking about getting the day after pill or plan B. But im not exactly sure how that works etc. Could i get pregnant even though i am on birth control? Thanks ALOT!
It is not unprotected if you are on birth control. Being on birth control IS protection, and it is very effective if used correctly. Since you use yours correctly, your chances of being pregnant are incredibly slim.
You can get the PlanB if you feel that you need to take it, but I would not worry about it, because you're probably not pregnant.
I was rated a 5 ♥
I'm a 15/f who loves makeup!
I usually wear mascara and eyeliner, and it tends to run under my eyes so im always using Q-tips to wipe it off. And when i take my makeup off it usually all runs under my eyes, so i have to rub harder under my eyes. Anyways what im trying to ask is how do i prevent sagging, and bigger eye bags from all this rubing, because im sure from all that rubbing my eye bags are only gonna get bigger.
any advice!?
please and thank you!
If your eye make up runs you should get waterproof.
You should not have to rub your eyes hard if you are taking your mascara and eyeliner off with make up remover. If you don't have any I would suggest Neutragena Oil Free. You just shake it up, put a little bit of it on a cotton ball, wipe across your eye and then get the excess off underneath and then you are done. =]
I was rated a ♥
Ive been going out with my boyfriend for 2 months and we've had sex about 7-8 times. The only thing is it hurts still. It stopped hurting after the 4-5th time and now its hurting again. I dont know why this is but Im starting to worry about it abit as I dont know whats wrong. It also feels very tight down below and I thought that once you had sex it doesnt feel tight anymore.
Has anyone else experienced this? and is it normal?
After having sex you don't just lose your "tightness."
It's normal for sex to hurt if you aren't lubricated well. If you haven't had sex in even just a few days, your vagina will go back to its original size.
Get yourself exited before you have sex next time so it won't hurt.
I was rated a 5 ♥
hi im 17, and a junior in high school. (i turn 18 in december) i am white, and live with just my mom. we dont get along well at all, infact we just got into a fist fight the other day, but thats not the problem. oh and one quick little fact about my mom, shes racest.
the problem is that my boyfriend is black. and we oviously have sex. he is also 21. we used a condom, but it broke. and now i am pregnant for my first time. oh and one other thing, my mom dosent know i have a boyfriend. he, by the way, wants to keep the baby.
i adore my boyfriend, and he has way more then enough money to support me every step of the way for my pregancy, and is planning on renting an apartment for us as a family, but i want to know what you think i should do.
i believe my mom will flip when she finds out im not only pregnant but im pregnant with a black child.
is there any way i can move out?
what if my boyfriend and i break up, and im stuck a lonley white girl with a black child?
what would you do?
what should i do?
ect.
Your situation is not as bad as you think it is. In fact, I have heard much worse. The most important thing is you are obviously mature enough to handle the situation, because you've thought about the possibility of having to raise the baby on your own. (which could happen).
The first thing you need to do is talk to your mom. First of all, tell her you are pregnant, and get that over with first. Then you can tell her about your boyfriend, and ask her to be open-minded. Insist that she give him a chance, and if she refuses, then that is her choice and you will have to deal with it.
The next thing you need to do is get a job. It's good that your boyfriend has money, but that doesn't mean he will always be around. It's good to have your own cash, so open up your own bank account and start saving up for the baby on your own. Look at the situation as if you don't have your boyfriend, and that will give you some sort of insurance.
Then you need to go to the doctor. Prenatal care is very important, especially in the first and last few months. So be sure to get on that as soon as possible.
Technically you do need your mom's permission to move out until you are 18. Hopefully she will understand that you want to have your own place so you can raise your family right. If she doesn't understand, you could get emancipated. However, I wouldn't suggest this because if things start to go south with your boyfriend, then you might need her one day.
Good luck with everything, and be prepared for the worse. There is always a chance that you could be stuck as a lonely white girl with a black child, and you need to accept that right now, and decide if you could deal with it.
If I were you? I would keep my child, continue my education and plans as if I wasn't having a baby, try to work things out with my mom, and raise my child with my boyfriend to the best of my ability.
What should you do? You should do what's right for you and your baby.
I was rated a 5 ♥
are you suppose to be really wet when you get fingerd?
Essentially, yes. That's normally what happens.
I was rated a ♥
I have a couple questions about what I can and cannot do while I am pregnant. Right now I am only about 9 weeks along. If you don't know all the answers that fine just please answer what you can:)
1- Can I ride horses or not? If I can can I do my horses normal work out, Im a barrel racer, and pole bender.
2- Can you get perms? Some people say yes some say no. Do the chemicals really harm the baby?
3- Is there any websites that can help you plan for baby and plan out monthly cost?
I am not sure if you can ride horses or not. That will be something you will have to discuss with your doctor on your next visit. I would refrain from it until you ask.
I would not get perms if I were you. It's up for debate about whether or not it is safe, but I have mostly heard it isn't. When I get pregnant, I plan on staying away from anything that could even be potentially dangerous to my baby. But it's up to you about what you choose.
Google pregnancy websites, and you will get a lot of links. Try cafemoms and webmd.
Congratulations on your pregnancy, and good luck.
I was rated a 5 ♥
Iam 13 years old and Iam about one month pregnant but I don't know how to tell my parents becouse my mom is really overprotective and i don't know how to tell her without upsetting her and my dad is really mean and he told me if I ever got pregnant really young he'd make me move out what should I do?
pleae help me!
Your father by law cannot kick you out of the house at 13. Until your 18th birthday, he has to take care of you.
You need to tell your mom. She can get you a doctor, get you looked at, and have your options discussed. You and your parents will have to make a decide together as a family about what path you are going to take, but the decision is ultimately yours.
You do not have to give your baby up for adoption if you do not want to, and you certainly do not have to have an abortion. Do what feels right to you, along with what will be best for the baby.
I was rated a ♥
I have heard that the first couple months is the most critical for your baby. that being said I am a bit worried about what I have been exposed to. I am 10 weeks pregnant. I smoke cigarettes, (i know, i know, i have cut down and plan to fully quit within a couple weeks). What I am mostly worried about is my job. I am a night janitor. I work anywhere from 7 to 11 hours a night and get from 3-6 hours of sleep as I have to be up with my other child in the morning. I lift heavy items all night, and I have heard furniture polish is really bad for the fetus, and I have used a TON of it in the last couple weeks. Not to mention all other cleaning supplies I use. the most of my worries though, is that I clean a large automotive garage which includes sweeping dirt and debris, including brake dust, and cleaning up oil spills, then moppping the cement with a heavy duty cleaner. there are signs posted everywhere in this auto dealership especially in the garage that say "birth defects and reproductive harm" my supervisor and even the nurse i spoke to did not seem too concerned, but why would they have all those signs then?
sorry this is getting long, but, also as I have a vaccuum strapped to my back most the night and haul A LOT of garbage during the night, and am on my feet for hours straight (my co-workers and I do not take breaks to make more money) how long do you think I will have to work before going on leave? thanks so much for your help
Just because a pregnancy CAN go normal while you smoke, does not mean that it WILL be a normal pregnancy. I believe anyone who is willing to put their own baby in danger for their own selfish wants is just pathetic.
Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, and some women are not even lucky enough to be able to experience it, and those that can should respect their bodies and be thankful for their blessing.
Sorry for that rant. You should quit smoking, end of story. I am not talking about stopping slowly over time, I am talking about quitting right now, point blank. You should not be putting your baby at risk because you think you can't go through a day without nicotine. What is more important to you?
As for the job, I would get a second opinion about whether or not it's dangerous or not. If it is, I would just assume to get a new job. If you can't, talk to your supervisor about working with other things aside from chemicals and lifting heavy objects. Surely there is something else that could be done.
Good luck.
I was rated a ♥
So Im 15, and Im pregnant, I don't know what to do Im so lost and confused, I guess I don't want a lecture of Im too young because its already done and over with. I dont really believe it yet, I dont know why but I don't. I have taken 4 tests today they were all positive, I might try and take 2 more tomorrow. But I guess my main questions are right now--
How am I suppost to tell my parents? They are very religious and they do not like my boyfriend at all who is also my baby's dad.... They dont even know I am sexually active, they think Im still a virgin.
I'm also on a lot of medicine can that affect the baby? Im not very far along only like a month but Im on Cymbalta because I am depressed, also I take Zyrtec, Singulair, and Advair which are all for allergies and asthma...
I also just started the garnasil vacination series today when I went to my dr. can that affect my baby?
Is there any way that all the tests I took today were wrong and I could still not be pregnant, I should have had my period on the 22 of this month.
Im just confused and lost right now, so even some words of comfort might help.
If you have already taken 4 tests than you can pretty much bet your cookies that you are pregnant. But you should still go to a doctor for confirmation.
The best way to tell your parents is to just flat out say it. You are scared and your parents are most likely/hopefully going to be your biggest support system. Tell them your worries, admit your mistake, and remind them that what's done is done and you would really appreciate it if they would help you.
You need to get to the doctor as fast as you can. You aren't supposed to take any medication when you are pregnant, so talking to your doctor about your medication is extrememly important to you and your babies health. The faster you get to the doctor, the better.
A baby is a blessing. Remember that, never forget it.
I was rated a 5 ♥
So I m 15 almost 16 and pregnant, my baby is due in late October early November. My boyfriend and I would like to stay together and raise our baby, and do the best we can we know it will be hard but we are up to it. He is a senior and graduating and taking over his dads company so money isn't an issue.
My parents are the issue, they don't like my boyfriend and think that if I have this baby and keep it then I will hand it off to them to raise. They want me to put the baby up for adoption. I think this would be very hard and I think I would regret it. What should I do? Im very confused on what I should do I don't know if I should just give the baby up for adoption or try to talk to my parents more about keeping it.
My parents always have said and still say that I am a smart enough girl to do anything I want and put my mind to but if I say I want to raise my baby and keep it they say i can't? Why are they going against what they have always said?
Also is there any way to get this pregnancy off my mind? I feel like everything I do I start thinking about the arguments at home and just being pregnant it keeps distracting me when Im at school and work and even when Im at home trying to fall asleep my mind just keeps wandering...
Sorry its long but just need help.
If you feel in your heart that you will regret giving your baby away, then you will. You know yourself, you know what you want, and if you want to keep this baby then do it.
First of all you need to understand that this will be YOUR baby. Hopefully your boyfriend will help you, but he will not be their all the time. You will. You have to feed the baby, burp the baby, clean the baby, change the baby's diapers, take care of the baby 24/7 when it cries, day or night. It's hard work and your parents may feel you aren't ready for the responsibility. You need to decide if you are.
You are fifteen, so of course you are going to need help raising your baby, and your parents know that. This is probably why they don't want you to keep him or her. You have to see the situation from their point of view. They feel they have pretty much raised their kids, and do not want to raise another. This is understandable, but you need to explain to them that you understand that this is your baby, and you are going to be the one to take care of it.
You also need to remember that you are just fifteen. There is no way of knowing if you and your boyfriend are going to stay together. I am not in the least saying you won't, but just that you need to consider what you would do if you no longer had him, or his financial aid he will be giving. You'll need to get a job.
Anyways, of course you are thinking about your baby and the fact that you are pregnant. Jeesh, if I was pregnant I would be thinking about it every hour of the day. It's normal I'm sure. Just remember you need to stay focused at school. You want to get good grades so you can go to college and get a good career as soon as possible.
Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you and your family.
I was rated a 5 ♥
So do guys expect a shaved vagina or is it normal to have your hairs still intact?
Should it just be shaved a little so that it's not a giant bush or should it be more shaved than that?
Do they care about the hair down there?
No guy wants to see a big bush..unless he has a hair fetish.
But as long as it's not scary looking, most guys will be to busy noticing they are having sex to care about how you groom yourself.
I was rated a 5 ♥
so before i never / rarely got zits!
usually when i break out its just two.
but this time there everywhere! my forehead , my cheeks, im so self consious! I use neutrogina face wash inthe shower and then i use a face cream so my skin doesnt dry on my face.
Is there anything that works really good to get rid of zits, that you use or something?
I have a dance coming up in a week and i don't want to look like this! Is there anything that like makes zits come? I knwo that sounds weird, but like touching my face??
thank you
Don't touch your face, because that will make it break out worse. If your face isn't oily, then I suggest maybe not using the face cream for a few days. If your face becomes dry, start using it again. It could be making your face oily, and in doing so, more prone to zits.
I like Cetaphil. I started using it a couple weeks ago, and I really like it. I've heard that putting a really hot water bottle on your face will help the zit come up to the top, and therefore easier to get rid of. Maybe try that? Also you buy some masks that will dry out zits.
If all else fails, put some concealer and foundation on for the dance, and order some ProActive for later on.
Good Luck.
I was rated a 5 ♥