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pregnant @ 17 w/ mixed baby
hi im 17, and a junior in high school. (i turn 18 in december) i am white, and live with just my mom. we dont get along well at all, infact we just got into a fist fight the other day, but thats not the problem. oh and one quick little fact about my mom, shes racest.
the problem is that my boyfriend is black. and we oviously have sex. he is also 21. we used a condom, but it broke. and now i am pregnant for my first time. oh and one other thing, my mom dosent know i have a boyfriend. he, by the way, wants to keep the baby.
i adore my boyfriend, and he has way more then enough money to support me every step of the way for my pregancy, and is planning on renting an apartment for us as a family, but i want to know what you think i should do.
i believe my mom will flip when she finds out im not only pregnant but im pregnant with a black child.
is there any way i can move out?
what if my boyfriend and i break up, and im stuck a lonley white girl with a black child?
what would you do?
what should i do?
ect.
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Your situation is not as bad as you think it is. In fact, I have heard much worse. The most important thing is you are obviously mature enough to handle the situation, because you've thought about the possibility of having to raise the baby on your own. (which could happen).
The first thing you need to do is talk to your mom. First of all, tell her you are pregnant, and get that over with first. Then you can tell her about your boyfriend, and ask her to be open-minded. Insist that she give him a chance, and if she refuses, then that is her choice and you will have to deal with it.
The next thing you need to do is get a job. It's good that your boyfriend has money, but that doesn't mean he will always be around. It's good to have your own cash, so open up your own bank account and start saving up for the baby on your own. Look at the situation as if you don't have your boyfriend, and that will give you some sort of insurance.
Then you need to go to the doctor. Prenatal care is very important, especially in the first and last few months. So be sure to get on that as soon as possible.
Technically you do need your mom's permission to move out until you are 18. Hopefully she will understand that you want to have your own place so you can raise your family right. If she doesn't understand, you could get emancipated. However, I wouldn't suggest this because if things start to go south with your boyfriend, then you might need her one day.
Good luck with everything, and be prepared for the worse. There is always a chance that you could be stuck as a lonely white girl with a black child, and you need to accept that right now, and decide if you could deal with it.
If I were you? I would keep my child, continue my education and plans as if I wasn't having a baby, try to work things out with my mom, and raise my child with my boyfriend to the best of my ability.
What should you do? You should do what's right for you and your baby.
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Ask your self these questions. I had sex at a very young age and became pregnant. I am 17 now with a 2 year old son. His father left well technically. he treated my son like crap didnt care. only time he did care was taking him out to pick up girls. well i left moved everything life is tough. but i dont believe in abortion and adoption... no.. couldnt live with knowing my child is out there some place.. so think what is best.. do you think you can take care of baby you didnt plan it but it happened for a reason.. and for your mom its not her problem its yours. she will get over it sometime. and maybe it will help her into growing up and figureing black people are just like white people. do you really like your man would leave you? plan ahead then. start saving money.. do you got a job. when will you be 18. they have government apartments but you have to be 18. well good luck.
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I am not sure what state you live in, but in most states a person under 18 has to get emancipation to move out from their parents. Otherwise, their parents can be charges with neglect. So you probably should find out about that.
Then, though it may seem like the hardest thing ever, you must be honest with your mom. Tell her upfront that you know that she has prejudices, but that you love this guy and that you are going to have his baby. Tell her that you feel that you made this decision and must now deal with the consequences. She may take this hard at first, but in time, she will accept that she cannot change what is happening, and when that baby is born she will forget all about the day she cursed your name for getting pregnant.
If you and your boyfriend break up, you will have to take him to court for child support. I never said this road was going to be easy. You may have to work alot and give up on some of your dreams for a time, but in the end there is not greater joy than a child. There are many who have made it before you. It can be done.
In a nutshell here it is.
1. tell your mom
2. find out if you need to get emancipated
3. find a job; even if its part time (you'll need the job history later
4. relax, realize that you will accept your new lifestyle in time and that things will be ok.
Good Luck, if I can do anything else for ya let me know.
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I think you need to do what is best for you and your baby. Your boyfriend sounds lovely and like he's really stepping up to his responsibilties.
You are old enough to move in with him, it sounds as though you would be much better off living with him than you mum.
You are pregnant, the last thing you need is fights and stress, so pesonally, i would say live with your boyfriend where you can be in a safe enviroment.
This is what I would do too. xx
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