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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
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*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
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advice
There are times when he seems very interested and then times when he doesn't.I have his phone number, and we have texted, but his texts always seemed cold.
I am a shy person and I do not want to make the first move.I do like him and am interested, but I'm not gonna go up to him and say "By the way, I like you" :/ That would be odd.
No worries, I figured it out :)
I went with clueless because your main question was along the lines of "does he like me" Based upon the information that you originally provided, OF COURSE HE DOES! With the additional information that you've given to me, you've painted a clearer picture. In your original question, you didn't mention that he sometimes seemed cold. Remember this quote: "We only make a dupe of the friend whose advice we ask, for we never tell him all; and it is usually what we have left unsaid that decides our conduct." You painted the picture that you wanted us to see and the details that you thought were important rather than the whole picture. If your perspective of the situation and the things that you were focusing on were enough, you'd have this problem all figured out on your own.
I'd say that rather than clueless, it's more like you're being very aloof with him. Aloof means that when he does something, you respond in a very reserved way and aren't acting interested. You may think that you are, but to him, it's likely that it's very difficult to tell if you are interested by how you are reacting to his hints. You're worried about making the "first" move, when he's made quite a few already. Because of how you may be coming off as a bit aloof, you're going to have to be somewhat direct, or start hinting back. Don't worry, there are ways to be somewhat direct without coming out and saying "I like you". It's reassuring that you do like him.
It seems like he hints at things all the time. For instance, when he told you about his dream and he said "I told you I loved you and loved working with you, and that you were a hard-worker, and you told me you enjoyed being with me too" he gave you a HUGE opening. All you had to do was say "oh, well is that true?" Just because he's a guy doesn't mean he's not a person just as you are. He doesn't have some magic ability to not fear rejection. It should not be his responsibility to do everything because that's just not fair. He shouldn't have to be 100% direct with you because you're "shy" and don't want to make the first move. Well, why does he have to? Perhaps he's shy too. If you really are interested in him and don't want this to turn out to be nothing more than a brief flirtationship, give him a little help! At least give him 20%!
You've got all the reason in the world to believe that he likes you and is interested in you. What have you given him to make him believe that you're interested in him? Probably not much. "Shy" is not an excuse. It just makes things slightly more challenging. Shy people get married all the time. How did they get to that place? They had to muster up enough of themselves to prove to the person that they liked that they liked them more than their shyness was able to control them. The next time he says or does something odd, say something about it. Ask him directly. "What do you mean by that". If an opportunity doesn't arise, reschedule the lunch date. It's not difficult to say "Remember when we were going to go out to lunch? We should reschedule that."
There's a difference between being shy and not showing much interest. The reason why he sometimes seems very interested and then doesn't seem interested at all is probably because of the mixed signals that you are giving him. Whether you mean to or not or whether you even think that you are, you're probably giving him just as many mixed signals as he's giving you. All you may have to do is overcome your fear for 10 seconds and give him just one clearer signal. Getting that lunch date rescheduled could really help things. Good luck!
(Rating: 5) Thanks! The texts may not have been meant to be cold, its kind of hard to interpret emotions over texts messages.They were just brief like "keep in touch" or "ok" like I was being a burdan. I don't want to seem "clingy" Because I'm not clingy. As for age, I left that out, but he's only 6 yrs older than I, and we're both above 20. He kind of caught me off guard with that dream, I mean I was kind of in the middle of trying to get a ride home lol.And when I heard that I kind of found myself lost for words, I felt more embarrassed than anything. And yes, he does keep bringing up the lunch, even told me he hasn't forgotten about it.I too have been busy with family matters. I guess maybe he's just waiting for me to make a move.I just don't trust people very easily.Its a flaw of mine.