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about
I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)
advice
I'm A 13 YEAR-OLD AND MY FRIEND IS ALSO 13.
Ok, so my friend is ALWAYs talking about, oh, I don't know... how she 'loves with all her heart' her 19 year-old boyfriend who has cheated on her numerous times, and she has done the same, or how she lost her virginity at 11, or guys that she's made out with at waterparks, etc. She is also incredibly slutty, but I'm her friend because her personality is good and she stands up for me... but the fact that all the guys in my class and in eighth grade love her and the older guys always tell her that they want to make-out with her, while I'm standing right there (and they ignore me), and she just laughs! all of this, plus my mental disorder (I claw at myself when I'm overwhelmed) makes me extremely insecure, but not in the way that I think I'm ugly, I honestly think I'm beautiful, but in the way that I feel left out and no guys like me.. I mean, one or two have called me sexy, but she (my BEST friend) has been in all these... 'experiences', I guess. and I just feel unwanted by guys. (ps: we're in 7th grade, and I would appreciate it if no one told me, 'oh! you're too young to care about that! I want REAL advice from people.)
This poem should help. It definitely helped me and it's 100% true.
Girls are like apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Don't lower yourself. It's good that you don't need others to know that you're great. That's why they're not interested in you at this time in your life. You have too much self confidence for them to think that they can get you. You will find someone amazing and someone that is worthy of you as you get older. Someone that will treat you in the way that you show everyone that you are asking to be treated by displaying the confidence that you have and not crawling after losers and perverts. Feeling unwanted is part of being a 7th grade girl. :)
As for your friend, you need to try to help her. She's going down a dangerous, very high-risk path. There's no way that she should be dating a 19 year old and having all of these sexual experiences. What kind of 19 year old would date someone your age rather than someone their own age? Not the right kind. At your age, you're just not emotionally ready for all of these sexual experiences yet. It's probably causing your friend some serious damage even though you envy her and it looks like she's having a really awesome time. She's getting the wrong ideas about what a relationship is and what her role should be in one. She may be basing her worth on the sexual attention of others rather than what she is really worth. You don't want to be like that.
I know it really sucks. I didn't get any attention from guys until I was like, 18. I know I'm good looking. Waiting for a good relationship is way better than getting the wrong kind of attention from the wrong kind of guys. Trust me. I'm so happy with my life now and I know that if I had been like your friend in high school, I would never have gotten the amazing guy that I married. He would never have looked at me. It's not about how attractive you are or how many people openly want you. It's about sending out the right message to attract the right person. Good luck.
(Rating: 5) Thank you SO much for this advice and telling me what happened to you and that POEM! you seriously changed my life forever and i love you for it! THANK YOU!