Brandi_S's advice column

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.

I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.

Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.

Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.

I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.

advice

18/f

My family is in a tough situation.
My mom has been drinking since I was in 8th grade. It was never this bad though. Before, she would always drink and get drunk but it'd only last a few weeks until my dad made her throw it out.
Then eventually she'll start hiding it.
But now, she is drunk all day and all night for about 5 months. I left for college in another state though.
As of right now, she's been living with this other man, cheating on my dad. She's there because that guy will give her all the alcohol she wants. My dad is mad of course, but they've been married for 20 years and he loves her and cares about her and wants to help her. She's a really good lady but it's the drinking that screwed her up.
Whenever she's here, she lies all the time and just picks fights with my dad. She is still living in the past, bringing up things that happened along time ago but is no longer a problem.
Even my aunt came over and my mom was bringing up things when they were kids that bothered her.
So there are many things she has been holding onto.
My younger brother, he's 16, he's in juvi right now for running away, stealing a car, drunk driving, hit and run. She blames him for her drinking. But when things were ok with him, she was still doing it.

So obviously, if she wanted to get help, she would but she doesn't want it. She told us she knows she has a problem but she can fix it herself.
She was looking up videos to stop but she said she doesn't have enough will power.

I'm not going back to college this semester so that I can stay with my dad.

He's planning on moving so that my mom can get away from this guy because right now, that's the only way she can drink and so my brother can get away from the drugs and his friends here. But right now, we're looking to help her.

We've tried an intervention type thing but that didn't work. Some other family members have talked to her too.
She won't go to rehab and she used to go to some AA meetings but that didn't work.
I know she has to want it but there has to be something else we can do.
I can't just be patient because it's been going on for too long. She needs help or she can die.
Someone told me about hypnosis. That would cost about 1,200 if it works. We would just have to convince her to go.
My dad found some CDs online and saw good reviews.

The thing is, she needs real help and me and my dad don't know what can work.
If you know anyone who has been like this and know what helped them please let me know.
I know other people who were alcoholics but they were never this bad. No one I know has ever been in a situation like this.
Thanks for the help!

Hey, I know you are worried about your mom, and I know you are worried about the situation between her and your dad.
But listen:
You can't do ANYTHING for her. Sorry. She has to do for herself. She has to admit to herself that she doesn't have the willpower to quit, and she needs to enter rehab.
Nothing you mentioned wanting to do for her will work for her, because she has to want those things for herself. You can't want it for her. It doesn't work that way.

WHY OH WHY are you NOT GOING TO SCHOOL??
Your dad is a big boy, and can take care of himself. You can't let your mother's alcoholism cause you to put off bettering your life and preparing for your future, and you certainly can't be a saving grace for their marriage. To be quite honest, their marital problems are their problems and their business. Your dad needs to work through that on his own. I'm shocked that he would even think to agree to you putting off school to stay with him. I'm not saying he's a bad guy or anything, but perhaps his emotions from the marital problems have got him not putting priorities where they should lie.

GO TO SCHOOL.

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(Rating: 3) The school is my own choice. I am going to school but not back to the one that I was originally going to.
So I guess there's no hope for my mom, but thanks for trying anyways.

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