alexisgirlie's advice column

13/f
I know I have a good life. I have a family that loves me, I have a lot of good friends, I get good grades in school,etc. but for some reason, I still get depressed a lot. A couple years ago, I was having extreme self esteem issues (which led to an eating disorder) and problems with my relationship with my parents and I started cutting myself. And the only people I could talk to about it weren't helping me in the way I needed. My parents don't understand what I went through then. They thought I was overreacting when I tried getting help from them.

It was hard, but I finally started to pull myself out of that state. The thing that helped the most was distracting myself with school and extracurricular activities. I've finally realized that I don't want to that anymore, but I still get depressed a lot and I get really moody around everybody. My relationship with my parents has gotten better in some ways, but I get in fights with them a lot. I can't help it sometimes.

I was doing a lot better this year because I started my freshman year (I'm year ahead in school) and I was busy with band too. I met a ton of new people and I started becoming friends with a senior. We got really close and we flirted a lot too. He made it seem like he really cared about me. And then, out of the blue, he stopped talking to me. I thought he needed a little space and that he would talk to me when he was ready. Days turned into weeks which turned into months. And I got no answer. I spent 6 months thinking that I did something wrong. I recently found out that he did something similar to my best friend too. But even knowing that he is a jerk hasn't made me feel any better.

Maybe I just set myself up for failure. I try to have confidence, but I get my hopes up and as much as I try, I am never as good or can compare to the people around me. I just got through applying for an student engineering camp through a university. I got this idea in my head that I could actually get in. I worked so hard, but I know it's going to be good enough. I don't know how I would deal with not making it in. I don't want to be the person I was 2 years ago. I guess I just need somebody to tell me everything's gonna be okay.

First of all, sweetie, you should know that it's not your fault that you're depressed, but you seem to be working very hard to combat it. That's good. It's not fair that you should have to deal with all that, you are so young, and have your whole life ahead of you. If getting help before didn't help you, then those people aren't right for you. Finding the right therapist will change your life. You can take out a book about DBT from your local library. DBT has wonderful tips on how to deal with depression without cutting. I'm bipolar, so I get depressed a lot, but I've discovered two tips that really help me overcome it. 1:Keeping to a healthy diet and exercising. It is crucial to your mental health, in ways that you can't imagine. It boosts your self esteem, and makes you feel glad to be alive. 2: laughter; laughing is a great way to combat depression. It's like a temporary medicine.
Always remember that if you fight to reclaim your special place in this world, and fight for things you really want, you will be happy again, and things won't just be "okay", they'll be great! Good luck, and I hope you feel better soon :)

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