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My husbband passed away two years ago and a long time friend of ours/ electrician we used on jobs contacted me and my children acting so concerned. After awhile i was taken by him emotionally not exactly love cause no one could take the place of my husband. A different comforting feeling. Anyway he always text me daily asking what im doing and wanted me coming over there anytime I had free time. Most of the time tho i was helping care for my mom and my mother in law cause she had lost her husband too my husbands dad eleven months after mine passed. Anyway this man would say things like your husband knew his mother did not care for you like that and wanted yall to move far away from his family. Also when that didnt work he tried to say my husband cheated on me at his house on several occassions and they all knew how could I have not. that is what he would tell me.. I still saw him for some odd reason but did not accept what he said about my husband because i asked all his friends and found out the lady he was claiming to be my husbands mistress was actually this mans girlfriend before him and i started talking to each other. Most of the time was texting alot and he knew what to say mean very nasty mean things to me and i would try to block him or tell him something was not right with him.. So alot of confrontations with texting even telling me he could careless how I felt didnt care about my family, no wonder my husband cheated on me, said i was a crazy gypsy and to go to you know where. But all of this was foul and mostly nasty words like whore and stuff. After trying to avoid his texts waiting on an appology for everything not once did he feel like appologizing he would just say miss you dont you miss me, come on ride over, one extreme to the next but i thought well maybe he will change but it gets worse each time and I found an article about sociopaths and I wonder if thats what he is he has all of the characteristics but im just not positive yet. Im 38 yrs old please help
Thing is though, we cant diagnose him. I doubt even a professional psychologist could diagnose him off a second hand account on the internet. Its particularly difficult when prior substance abuse combined with bad relationships are in the mix. The only possible answer is: maybe.
The fact is that either way, you need to stay away, no matter how hard it is. Clearly he is bad for you (and everyone else) whether he is sociopath or just a massive jerk.
If you need to understand him, this is the important part: this man, whether a sociopath or not, is trying to use you. He is trying to get something from you and he does not care how its done. He clearly does not respect your feelings (or anyone else's) in the slightest. For whatever reason his brain works this way, its all about him and his needs/desires.
Remember, he can only play mind games with you to the extent that you allow him to. For some reason you let him get inside your head, which is exactly where he wants to be. You have to kick him out again.
(Rating: 5) Exactly what I needed to hear! I thank you so so much! I have searched and needed someone to talk to with the right kind of advise. Yes, I have been staying away and doing pretty good so far. The only thing is a person can start feeling sorry for people like this and think they will change if you can figure them out. I'm sick of trying to figure him out. I am still in grief myself and need to be trying to heal with my children. I felt like I could help him too, If I could understand what was causing him to be like that. I try to have a good positive view with people but I see he could possibly be one that will never change. Thank you again! I greatly appreciate the advise and view.