"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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Ever since I could remember, I've had cold sores on my lips. They come and they go. I don't get them alot, usually just in the winter. Well, I had one on the right side of my lips, and my boyfriend who is still a virgin* I gave him headd, well later that night, he called me and told me he had something that looked like a hickey on his shaft, and another one right under his head; but it had a rough texture too it. He said it hurt him to touch it, and to even pee. Did my cold sore do this?
Btw, now after we kissed, he has three cold sores on his bottom lip, and three lie bumps on the tip of his tongue. Is this from me too? Or is it because he had strep throat? My cold sore is completely gone. But I read someone elses post, and they had a smiliar problem, and they said she had a std?
I've had sex with two guys; One was a virgin, and the other one had sex with two girls before me. I gave them both head; but I haven't experienced any signs of STD's. (link)
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HSV-1 = Oral Herpes (cold sores)
HSV-1 = Genital Herpes
You can get oral herpes on your genitals.
You can get genital herpes on your mouth.
Again, most STD tests don't test for herpes unless you SPECIFICALLY REQUEST IT (and pay the extra money).
I never said you have genital herpes.
Oral herpes is what you likely have.
Maybe you have misunderstood your doctor:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=589076
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Yes, you have an STD.
Coldsores = herpes.
Herpes = sexually transmitted disease.
Always. Every single time.
There is very much mis-information below that I need to clear up. It is NOT a "very slight" chance that HSV-2 ("genital herpes") transfers to the mouth. Those odds are actually EXTREMELY high, especially if there is a current outbreak (or within two weeks prior or after an outbreak). HSV-2 tends to spread faster than HSV-1, for whatever reason. It's more apt to spread from the mucus membrane onto the other parts of the flesh (ie: from the vagina, down the thighs, up the abdomen, etc.).
Unfortunately, you are NOT STD-free. Telling a partner that you are is false information. Knowing you have an STD, especially something like herpes or HIV, can actually make you liable for bodily damages if your partner becomes infected from your negligence. Of course, these lawsuits usually happen after a messy break-up. Technically, if you did pass the virus along to your partner without informing him of your infection before your encounters, he could sue you.
The virus (either HSV-1 or HSV-2 strains) usually shows up 10 - 14 days after contracting it. There have been cases in which people have contracted the virus and did not have their first outbreak for months. Some people have reported lesions as little as 4 or 5 days after their infectious encounter. That I am aware of, there are no reported cases of lesions appearing within the first 24 hour period from infection.
When a person contracts HSV-1 or HSV-2, the virus actually lives in the body, at the lower base of the spinal cord, for the rest of the person's life. There is absolutely no cure for herpes. Unfortunately, you do not need to currently be having an outbreak to transfer this STD so there are millions of Americans who have contracted herpes because there were no visible signs of infection.
Herpes is very, very common now:
"...one in six adults have genital herpes. It is estimated that over 80 million Americans have herpes of one form or another. This means that 8 in 10 Americans are or will become infected."
http://www.genital-herpes-simplex.com/
I also want to note that most people have regular outbreaks but it is possible to go years (anywhere from 1 year to 10+ years) in between them. Most people also show signs of contracting HSV-1/2 about 10 to 14 days after but there are occasions where some do not have outbreaks for years and some occasions where people have the initial outbreak much sooner than average. The first outbreak usually is the most severe of them. Because of this:
Your partner could have possibly had herpes long before your encounter.
There are thousands, if not millions, of herpes-infected people who are complete virgins. The sad truth is that during innocent diaper-changes many parents end up spreading their virus along to their infant. It's entirely too common. Go to any herpes forum and you'll see a dozen questions right away asked by parents with infants and toddlers who have contracted the virus from unwashed hands. Unfortunately, many of these children grow up to think their symptoms are fairly normal for the average healthy person, not knowing they're infected with a disease, or end up going years in between outbreaks and not putting two-and-two together as, well, a disease.
I, personally, contracted herpes through innocent contact with my mother prior to my turning 4 years old. I can remember my first known outbreak. It wasn't until I was nearly 20 that I learned my "harmless" coldsore was really an STD.
Engaging in oral sex during an outbreak is incredibly risky for both partners. The give-er can actually spread their own herpes around their mouth/face. The receiver can end up with whatever herpes strain(s) their partner has all over their genitals.
Thousands, if not millions, of Americans have HSV-2 ("genital" herpes) on their mouths.
Thousands, if not millions, of Americans have HSV-1 ("oral" herpes; coldsores; feverblisters) on their genitals.
Some people have herpes on their elbows, believe it or not. Any place where there is a minor break in the skin and the infected cells get to can become an outbreak location for the virus.
If your partner has the lesions right now, encourage him to get a full STD test drawn up. Have him specially request a test for herpes, as many/most typical STD tests don't even test for either strain any more. Encourage him to ask them to swab/scape the area for the more accurate results for these bumps and lesions. They will drawn blood for the bloodwork of the test. He will get a response within a few weeks if he has been infected or if these sores have nothing to do with herpes.
Chances of these sores being herpes?
Extremely high.
Chances you gave him herpes?
Unfortunately...extremely high. Engaging in kissing, oral sex, or sharing food/utensils during an outbreak is, seriously, the worst thing a person can do. The "peak" contagious time for a herpes-infected person is about 2 weeks before an outbreak, the time during the actual outbreak and healing process, and a full 2 weeks after the outbreak has cleared and there are no visible signs present.
He needs to see a doctor.
Now before the sores clear up.
I have a lot of hours in on learning about herpes. If you have any questions that you want real, factual information about from REAL LIFE (and not strictly the "well my doctor said!" BS people throw around) please inbox me your questions. I can even share some herbal supplements you can take to reduce your outbreak time, symptoms, discomfort, and frequency.
P.S.
This BS about "herpes isn't serious" is really terrible. People die from herpes. I'm not trying to scare you, I promise, but there are many reported cases of people actually DYING because they were herpes infected. It isn't a harmless disease. It can very well be dead for many individuals, and has even spread to the brain and caused death. I think that's kind of serious...don't you? ;)
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I've been to the Doctor about my cold sore, and its NOT an STD. The doctor said their is a difference between gential herpes and a cold sore. Yes its a form of herpes, but not an STD. Just like when you get warts; doesn't mean you have gential warts either. I've already been checked for STDS eight times in the last 4 years, and I am clean. ( and ive only been checked that much beacuse the doctor said theres no tellin when they will come up), but I've went four years without sex and Im still clean. So thanks again, but its not an STD.
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