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I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
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advice
I fell in love with my best friend. I didn't tell him because I know he doesn't like me that way. The problem is he says he's in love with this girl, Grace, who our whole gang knows is not the right girl for him-she drinks,she smokes and she's not that bright- but he seems too blinded to realize.
He doesn't hang out with us anymore, it seems like he doesn't even care. Even my other guy friends notice that. The painful part for me is that, I have to watch them every single day.How he looks at her how he acts around her and every single time, it's like a part of me dies.
I asked others what I should do, and they always say that I should tell him how I feel. But the thing is I can't. I'm too afraid that it'll just ruin our friendship,and I cannot risk losing the only thing we have left. And besides, they're together now. But i still need some help, so please tell me anything I should do. Teach me how I could start moving on and letting him go,because I sure am not doing a good job at that now.Please HELP ME, thanks a lot. >:D
Hey there :)
Aw this is definitely a horrible situation and i'm sorry to hear your in it.
We have all been in a similar predicament at some stage or an other.
Okay well have you guts talked to him? like your group..if not just basically tell him you are just looking out for him and that you think he his distancing himself from you. Be gentle about it. The last thing you wan't his him retaliating and going further away. He will either take your advice well or not. It may cause him to drift further away but at least you will know you have been good friends and tried to be there for him. After you do that there isn't much more you can do I'm sorry to say.
The bottom line is it his life and he is going to live it how he wants to meaning go out with who he wants and so forth.
90% of the time our friends instincts are never wrong but we can be so caught up in someone or something we choose to ignore or own instincts if that makes sense.
So basically in time he will see that this girl is not right for him. Or he may not.
I really understand the pain you must be feeling as regards your feelings for him. When I was 14 I had feelings for a friend of mine and he started dating one of my girl friends it was so horrible and Like you I died a little inside every time I saw them together.
The trick to moving on is a little bit of distance time and persistence.
Firstly its okay to cry your hurting and thats normal let it all out then once it has make a promise to yourself not to cry again.
Then keep yourself busy every time you think of him distract yourself. Call up another friend make plans,listen to music anything.Of course its going to be hard at first but I promise you as time goes on it gets easier. Soon it will become much more easier to be around him and to control your feelings to a point where one day they will actually be gone!
I really would advise you not to tell him. In other circumstances I would say go for it but he is already hanging out with you guys less. Like you said would you rather him as a friend or nothing at all?
I believe the risk is too high in this situation.
Don't waste your life waiting around for one guy. When you could learn to let go and gain feelings for someone else that will return them.
Unfortunately there really isn't much you can do other than that. Like I have said before its his choice. Sometimes people change and come in and out of our lives its a part of life that sucks no doubt but a part that we have to deal with.
I really hope this helps and that things work out well for you
feel free to inbox me anytime!
Much
(Rating: 5) Thank you very much. I'll keep in touch and let you know how things are going, you've really helped me a lot. ♥