"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1511
Last Update: August 15, 2011
Visitors: 144027
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16/f
I really don't know what's going on.Have all the boys gone blind?I am sick and tired of being alone.And no guy notices me or if he does it's usually a jerk.I've become a jerk magnet.I don't see why it's like this.I am good-looking and smart,I think I should attract good-looking guys...not just that but every guy I've been with ended up cheating on me with an UGLY girl.When I say ugly I mean it.I am not cocky,I just love myself.So don't tell me I'm arrogant.I am also very friendly and approachable,but love just seems to avoid me.I see my girl friends around,happy with their boyfriends in long relationships and I just can't seem to find a good guy for myself.I want a guy who treats me sweet and loving.On the contrary,I got all but that...I know I have a lot of time but I feel like my love life is ruined for good.Are all the boys my age and a few years older he same? I don't have the strength to look for love anymore,since it seems to me they only want sex... (link)
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There is more to love than appearance.
Just because you're pretty doesn't mean you have a good personality. It doesn't mean you're even lovable. You could be a cold, cruel bitch that looks sexy as hell.
On the opposite standpoint, you could be so full of yourself in your looks that you let guys use you. You think you're sexy and that guys want you so you let them take advantage of you. Guys don't always just want sex.
You list your qualities as:
Pretty
Smart
Attractive
Friendly
Approachable
What about:
Nice
Kind
Generous
Respectable
Great listener
Faithful
Can hold a good conversation
Caring
Thoughtful
Helpful
Mature
Sweet
Loving
Considerate
Compassionate
Fun
Empathic
Patient
Have defined morals and standards
Self-respect
Emotionally stable
Has a personality and a strong sense of self
While you may come off as friendly and "approachable" at first eventually they will "open the book" and see what's beyond the cover. You can be outstandingly gorgeous but it doesn't mean guys are going to be all over you. In a sense, you're more a jack-off magnet than anything. You're good to look at but if you lack key characteristics then there's no point in being honest or faithful to you from many guys' standpoints.
You may have many other qualities listed above but if you don't actively show them then the guy isn't going to know you're worth more than sex. He will only see your outside if you never open up and show him your inside. Life isn't just about you, in the end. He isn't going to "dig deep" if you aren't giving him some clues as to WHO you are rather than WHAT you are.
You don't even list what you like to do. Is it possible you only go after the physical of a relationship? What about sharing activities with your partner (so that you know what you do have in common other than physical attractiveness) like:
Reading
Bowling
Skating
Swimming
Dancing
Volunteering
Going to church
Moving-outings
Double-dates
Cooking
Crafting/Painting/Photography/Artistic fun
I also must point out that you are taking appearances to a bit of the extreme. It's possible you keep picking the "good looking" guys rather than the guys with good hearts and great personalities.
The ugly girls aren't just ugly. Beauty comes within many times. You can look like a hideous monster and have an angelic personality. In the end, appearance may ATTRACT guys but it doesn't necessarily keep them hanging on. There's more than just being pretty. You have to have an emotional and mental connection. No just a physical thing.
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Rating: 5
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yes I know all that,but I couldn't list all those things,the question would be too long.I do like to do a lot of the things you listed,and possess a lot of good traits you listed,but it wouldn't fit into the question :)
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