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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.[9/2/08] [5/7/08] [16/7/08] [23/9/09] [28/5/10] [29/5/10] [3/6/10]
Laura/22/England
Forum
advice
So there's this girl.
She's smart/funny/pretty etc. etc. (read: I'm into her, a lot). She lives pretty far (a long plane ride) away, but that isn't really as big of a problem as it sounds because her job keeps her constantly on the road. I've met up with her a few times (every time she happened to roll through my city), and I keep in touch with her on AIM weekly, whenever she has a chance to get on.
The problem: She's famous. I use the word "famous" loosely because it's not like she can't go out in public without being mobbed, but if I had to guess I'd say she gets recognized by at least one person around half the time she goes out. I know the obvious next step is to just ask her out on actual date it's just...
I don't know. I guess I'm asking you if you think it's worth pursuing, given the circumstances. I really don't want to lose her. I know you don't know me and you don't know her, so you can't tell me what's right for me. I'm just looking for some input, but I also know it's not a very straight-forward question.
Side note: I'm almost finished with school, so it's not like I can just pick up my life and run away with her if things work out. Not to mention, even if I wasn't in school I'm not sure I'd want to do that anyway. Writing this out it seems like there are so many hoops we'd have to jump through to make this work that I'm wondering if it's worth the trouble (and that's not necessarily a reflection of how committed I am/would be to her).
Hey there, thanks for inboxing.
Famous or not famous, distance or no distance, I reckon it's better to see what comes of it, instead of wondering what COULD happen..and never doing anything about it.
This IS a rather peculiar question, although I know it CAN work out, given both people like each other. How do I know? Well, I know a few "famous" people myself who travel a lot and don't always get to see their other half, but they do make it work. Anything can work if both people want it to.
Just the hard part now is finding out if she likes you, without coming on too strong.
Next time you hang, ask to take her somewhere, which hints you like her.. see if she accepts.
Get a little closer to break the friendship barrier, try to hug, invade her personal space a bit to see how she reacts (what I mean by that is, touch her arm when talking to her for example, to see if she backs away or doesn't seem to mind)
I wouldn't normally tell someone to tell another person how they feel about them through AIM, but for you, it's different because you don't see her a lot. Next time you chat, perhaps maybe hint at it, but don't blurt out "i like you, do you like me rawr rawr" I know a lot of the time, you shouldn't beat around the bush, but you have to be careful, as you don't want the friendship to go funny, considering you don't see each other much anyway.
Does she have a mobile and do you have her number? If so, text her every now and then, it normally lets someone know you're interested.
I'm sorry my advice is rather vague with this question, but like you said, I don't know either of you and don't have any background info other than you've hung out and she's kinda famous.
If you do need further help, don't hesitate to ask. and I'm curious to know how you get on and what you decide to do. Let me know in feedback.
(Rating: 5) You make some good points. I really want to go for it, it just sucks when you meet someone you really have a lot in common with/are really attracted to and it's so hard to get close to them for whatever reason.
She's always really busy it seems, but I'll make sure she makes time for me next time she's in town.
As far as the whole AIM thing goes.. I'm kinda against it because with things like this all I get is one shot, one look, one kiss etc to make the difference. It's just hard to sit around and wait for someone like that, especially when it's for an indefinite amount of time. I suppose I don't have another option at the moment though.
I'd love to hear your response to this feedback. Just feel free to edit your question and I'll check back every now and then.