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Due to assholes on the site and people who have no idea what the hell they are talking about I have left the site. Ahem, Dangernerd...Who likes to make assumptions about people when they do not know them ;) Then has brass balls to go search up whatever information he can gather so he has back fire to use whenever he feels like starting a little hissy fit. Let me remind those who read this, Dangernerd has a nasty tendency of using what you post on the site against you if you where to ever have a problem with someone on the site. Mind you, He likes to gather false information in a way that he thinks will benefit him in the long run. This site is run by someone who doesn't have class, Who likes to pigeon hole people. The same guy who supposedly is running an "ADVICE" column but somehow has pre-teens asking about sex and how to do sexual things to their "partners" this site is also filled with people giving advice that is NOT helpful or use full in any form rather than most encouraging the young ones. Well lets get to the bottom of it, This site is a laughing matter. Dangernerd is a joke and couldn't be a bigger clown ;)
advice
I'm in the typical high school drama situation and to be honest, I completely asked for it. It was my mistake. Now, I need help getting out of it.
17F
Long story short, my "best friend" (I use quotes because I hate saying those words) went out with this guy for 1yr+ and he recently dumped her.
She started going out with a new guy but she still has feelings for her first boyfriend. She wanted to preserve her friendship with her ex, but she felt like he didn't want to be her friend anymore.
Unfortunately, I have a crush on her ex (BUT NOBODY on planet Earth knows) and so I thought I would try to help the situation by calling him and talking to him about it. He said nothing new except that he's annoyed with her (she's genuinely concerned about their friendship) and that he can't trust anyone because rumors will start.
I really, really want to get him to realize that he can trust me while still maintaining my friendship with my "best friend." I think that is an impossibility but now I think for whatever reason I've gotten him to dislike me or trust me less because he's afraid I will leak information to her.
I just don't know what to do. My mind is telling me to immediately get out of this situation and let them handle it, and that's exactly what I told him. I, like he, cannot trust anyone, which is why I'm asking on this site. At the same time, I really want him to like me more than her. I asked him and he said he has ABSOLUTELY no feelings for her at all as a girlfriend.
I think she needs to move on from him and realize she has a new boyfriend and she should stop worrying about her friendship with him because he never said he didn't want to be friends with her. He said he would call her, but I know at this point I cannot butt in.
What should I do? I do not ever plan on telling him I like him because I cannot date him. My feelings for him should have no influence on any of my decisions. I'm just confused and afraid that he dislikes me because I transmit information to her like a good "best friend."
I feel like he wants to trust me but he can't because he knows she'll get all the info he tells me, and I don't want him to feel that way and I told him that but he's just forcing himself not to trust anyone because he's afraid. Should I try to hang out with him alone so he can open up? Would that be weird? We're good friends but I don't want him to think that the only reason why I want to hang out is to talk about his ex... I'm just so confused and this whole situation has escalated so much.
You have two options
1. Continue to talk to him take the risk of you two both liking each other loose the friend and run into a load of drama
2. Get out of the situation and let the two of them handle it and avoid the drama
First of all I'm going to be completely honest with you, It wasn't your place to call him and try to solve a matter that did not involve you. If you want to stay friends with your "best friend" than if I were you I'd end the calls with the guy now before you dig a deeper hole. You are asking for it if you continue to talk to this guy. Your friend has just got out of a relationship with him there probably is a lot of tension between the two of them. Whether people say they are completely over someone or not only they know whether it's the truth. If you don't want this situation to escalate anymore than it already has than I would avoid talking to the ex boyfriend for awhile and let him be. A best friend is someone who should be there for one another this guy is only a crush and god knows what would ever happen down the line if you two were to have a relationship anything could go wrong. The question is....Is he worth risking the friendship?
(Rating: 5) I was just trying to be a good friend to her by asking him his perspective on the matters since she was very confused. I could not make judgments unless I got his perspective. That is why I called him. She was completely miscommunicating what he was trying to say. I will not intervene anymore.