Brandi_S's advice column

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.

I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.

Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.

Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.

I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.

advice

my ex has been playing these games with me for a year and half now (ever since he broke up with me)
how do i get it so hes chasing me instead of me chasing him?
he dated another girl and came back to me and i had him chasing me for like a month this summer, but somehow im again in the vulnerable hurtful position
how do i get him to chase me again?
or how do i tell him without sounding childish that this isnt going to work
its obviously not going to workout because if it was, we had a year and a half to get back together. weve had this whole summer to get back together also when he dumped his new girlfriend who he dated for a month for me. but we never got back together.
whenver i try to talk to him about it, i feel kinda like i sound childish/dumb?
but all i want to do is tell him how i feel. like listen, i dont understand what we're doing here you know? i dont get why we continue talking
how do i tell him how i feel without sounding too upfront/childish or obsessed?
beacuse i dont want to fall hard again (like i think i am now) and then him go and date another girl and break my heart again
we've talked once about things a little bit and he said he still has a lot of feelings for me, but hes not sure what he wants. but thats all weve talked about

***EDIT***
You said here:
"...how do i get it so hes chasing me instead of me chasing him?"
"how do i get him to chase me again?"

Yet you said to me in my feedback:
"dont you think i know thats a lot of time waisted? obsviouly i want to move on..."

Don't say one thing in your question, only to turn around and say you meant something different. Nothing in this question says to the world that you want to move on. So I don't see the obvious want for moving on??

Then said to me:
"you coulda been a little uhm, nicer about it?"

What do you expect?
Should I pat you on the head and call you a sweet little girl for wanting to play games like this for a year, which, let's face it, is pretty obsessive and creepy?
I think not.

See, I thought I WAS being nice about it, considering I refuse to sugar coat the truth for you. So this is the bald version of the truth:

Pull your head out of your ass.
Don't worry about not sounding upfront/childish, or obsessed to him, because you've done quite well at making yourself look that way.

**************************

So... If you are wanting to move on, why the hell are you wanting him to chase you? Do you think that would make you feel good about yourself? You want to lead him on and make him feel bad, even though you know how it feels when it's done to you?

It's getting about time to grow up and realize that playing such games won't get you anywhere with anyone important. Don't you think?

Look.
You would be much further along (and happier) in your love life if you stopped playing childish games with your ex. The time you are WASTING on him is time you could have spent possibly falling madly in love with the guy who may be the one who falls madly in love with you.

Won't know until you realize it's time to move on.
Seriously.
It's been over a YEAR.
Damn. That's a lot of wasted time.
Don't you think?

31/f

[view]

(Rating: 1) dont you think i know thats a lot of time waisted?
obsviouly i want to move on, but its hard when its your first love, you coulda been a little uhm, nicer about it? jeeze, thanks.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>