JustJessOx's advice column

I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media
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advice

Okay so my boyfriend and I have been through alot and we've only been together for almost 2 months and i've known him since i was little, we've been through.. him liking me and me liking someone else,not talking for a while, me liking him and him liking someone else, him being in a relationship but liking me the entire time and then breaking up with the girl for me, then keeping our relationship secret for like a month, so basically we've almost been in a relationship for 3 months. I love him, I really do. We've been in a lot of fights though because his ex girlfriend and a lot of her friends [some who used to be my friends] harassed me over the internet and in person. They shoved me in the lunchroom of my school and threatened me .. all because they thought i broke them up, that i told him to break up with her ... but he has always been my best friend and i told him [exact words] to "do what makes you happy." and then he broke up with her. well, she is still trying to make him jealous and stuff, and im not a controlling girlfriend, but like ... he shouldnt even want to talk to her after all the crap she put me through none of it was even my fault. and so i found out he was talking to her again ... he said it was only once, but she asked him about a guy [she could have asked ANYONE about the guy, but she chose to ask my boyfriend. wow] and he told her that he was an idiot [the guy she asked him about] uhm, cool.. so he's jealous? so i was saying like obviously you're jealous and he said he would never do anything that would intentionally bother me. UHM LIKE HE DIDNT KNOW THAT WOULD BOTHER ME ?! so we got in this huge fight and stuff ... and the other night i asked him how far they got, he told me he felt her up but she gave him a hand job. i dont know why, but that really bothers me. like, all ive ever done with a guy is kiss them. like, not makeout either, because i like to go slow ... because if you do everything fast, then theres nothing to look forward to, you know ? haha, that's just my theory. and i keep thinking about it, and it keeps making me uncomfortable. and like, he knows ive only kissed guys. and idk, like .. should this be making me uncomfortable ? they were otgteher for 3 or 4 months, but also ... do i have a right to be mad at him .. he told me he deleted her number from his phone [ a while ago ] and its like he's just telling me what i want to hear. and idk if i like it. and the fact that he talked to her behind my back.. probably thinking i wouldnt find out or thinking it wouldnt be a big deal also bothers me, because he was flirting with me when he was with her, i think im jkust insecure. ugh, i dont know, anybody help ? any advice at all, i think im also just venting. sorry haha :]

hey there =]
okay I can see where you are coming from and honestly I think id,(or any other girl in your situtation) would have similar feelings.
but the fact is hes a guy. plain and simple he doesnt realise how talking to her would affect you,it usually takes guys a while to figure that stuff out.
what those girls are doing to you is really unfair,his ex is still probably hurting from the breakup but shes going about getting over it the wrong way vengance isnt going to solve anything,and wont get her anywhere its bad karma.
anyway what I think you should do is don't give her any satisfaction,how your reacting now is exactly how she wants you to! and trust me shes probably loving it.
this is her plan from the sounds of things to get you so worked up and paronied that you end up badgering your boyfriend about it and you two break up.
you should let up a bit calm down,i dont think your boyfriend means bad or to hurt you i think he genuinely was telling her that the guy was an idiot. why should he care when hes with you? i think your over annalysing things and this is going to cause some problems if you keep worrying and thinking omg is he jealous of her does he like her again etc.
tell your bf you dont mind him talking to her but tell him that it hurts you a bit considering all she put you through let him know your not trying to be controlling. he should see it from your perspective then =)
as for how far she got with him its irrelevant.
you are both different girls and do things at your own pace,it looks like your boyfriend respects that,does he pressure you to do stuff? if so then you really need to rethink this.
if not then youve nothing to worry about =)
hope I helped
much

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(Rating: 5) thank you SO MUCH, im definetly gonna be asking you some more advice :]

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