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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.[9/2/08] [5/7/08] [16/7/08] [23/9/09] [28/5/10] [29/5/10] [3/6/10]
Laura/22/England
Forum
advice
14/f
So about 3 and a half weeks ago, there was this new girl to my class... lets call her L. I thought she was kind of nice at first, cause, you know, she was like a new opportunity as a friend. It turned out one of my best friends (E) has been friends with her for awhile, so L sits at our lunch table now... but after the first day, I started to have my doubts about her, and same thing with the rest of the table (except for E). Here are some things about her that we don't like at all:
-She has so much acne her face is completely red
-She constantly talks about how she talks to ghosts... also how there used to be a mean ghost in her old house, and thats why the moved...
-She smells A LOT like smoke...
-Her hair is greasy and disgusting.. lots of dandruff
-She makes no effort to talk to anyone but E, even though she's hung out with us for about a month
-Also after a month, she still doesn't know my name. Or anyone else's for that matter.
-She's kind of a brat-she gets really upset if she doesn't get what she wants
-I think she's emo or something... I often see her in some class I'm in with her with her head down and her hair over her face, or just her hands over her eyes... it's kind of creepy.
-She is extremly clingy
-She's a total bitch to some of my friends
-No one likes her (except for the freak-girl clique...) and she's completely oblivious to it
-Every single day she has worn the same shoes-these obnoxious, calf-high, brown wedges that make an awful clacking noise when she walks
-SHE WON'T LEAVE US ALONE!!
And I could keep going but I think I'll stop now. And please, don't tell me to 'give her a chance because she's the new girl'. A-she's not exactally new anymore, and B- I think I listed at least 10 reasons why she's a creep. I really don't feel bad for her anymore.
So, I really need help on how to tell E that we really don't like L... without hurting anyone's feelings...? I don't know, I just really need some advice on what to do.
You are an idiot.
Re-read your question and tell me how you aren't being totally unfair.
1. "Here are some things about her that we don't like at all:
-She has so much acne her face is completely red"
Honey, she can't help having acne, it's called growing up - something YOU should be doing.
2. "-She constantly talks about how she talks to ghosts... also how there used to be a mean ghost in her old house, and thats why the moved..."
She must be interested in this type of thing, alot of people are. If you aren't, tell her.
3. "-She smells A LOT like smoke..."
Does she smoke? Do people in her family smoke? If so, she could be unaware. Perhaps you could find a nice way of letting her know.
4. "-Her hair is greasy and disgusting.. lots of dandruff"
and this is a valid reason to not want to be friends with someone? Because they have greasy hair? A nice group of friends would help her out a little with her image, maybe offer a make over etc.
5. "-She makes no effort to talk to anyone but E, even though she's hung out with us for about a month"
To be perfectly honest, a month is nothing. Some people take more time to settle in.
6. "-Also after a month, she still doesn't know my name. Or anyone else's for that matter."
Are you over exaggerating? If she genuinely doesn't, give it a bit of time for her to become used to the new surroundings.
7. "-She's kind of a brat-she gets really upset if she doesn't get what she wants"
She'll learn eventually.
8. "-I think she's emo or something... I often see her in some class I'm in with her with her head down and her hair over her face, or just her hands over her eyes... it's kind of creepy"
So what? She could be shy or something.
9. "-She is extremly clingy"
Clingy? Who to? I thought you said she doesn't bother with anyone apart from the person she knows well?
10. "-She's a total bitch to some of my friends"
How and why?
11. "-No one likes her (except for the freak-girl clique...) and she's completely oblivious to it"
Read the first line of my answer.
12. "-Every single day she has worn the same shoes-these obnoxious, calf-high, brown wedges that make an awful clacking noise when she walks"
Is school supposed to be a fashion show?
13. "-SHE WON'T LEAVE US ALONE!!"
I have an idea. Why don't you change schools and try being the new girl.
You really are being a fool. It can be extremely hard for some people to settle in. and I doubt the bad vibes coming from you and others is helping her feel welcome.
Sort it out. Stop picking up on stupid little things that don't mean anything. So what if she doesn't look how you want her to or wear different shoes? They are not valid reasons to not want to be friends with someone.
Try actually getting to know this girl. If you don't see a friendship blossoming, then simply don't associate with her. She's "E's" friend anyway, and "E" can hang out with whoever she likes, whether you like that person or not.
Oh, and in regards to your feedback:
"Who the hell are you to judge how I look at people?"
Did you even READ what you wrote in your ridiculous question?
I think not.
"I don't think you'd understand where I'm even coming from."
I'm not a mind reader you asshole. You write the question and I answer it - simple as. If there's more to the story, you should have wrote about it.
"you just made me dislike her even more. So thanks."
Good for you. She's better off without you as a friend anyway.
Have a nice day.
(Rating: 1) Thanks a lot. You really helped.
Who the hell are you to judge how I look at people? If you were just answering my question so you could make a fool out of me and try to sound like my mother, then you can get the hell out of here. I don't think you'd understand where I'm even coming from. And honestly, by you being a smart ass, you just made me dislike her even more.
So thanks.