about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.


I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.


Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.


Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.


I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.







advice

I saw your advice column and would like to ask you a question if you don't mind. I am a 21 year old female with a 10 month old son. His father and I broke up for a period of 3 months, and during that time, both him and I have been with other sexual partners. As ashamed as I am, I had unprotected sex for just a few minutes(I know time doesn't matter) and he also did. I'm not sure of exactly what he did, because I do not want to know for emotional reasons, however, do need to know for health reasons. I do know he slept with someone unprotected. I got tested for STD's 2 and a half months after these incidents occurred and me and him were sleeping together again. I tested positive for Chlamydia and took antibiotics immediately to cure it. HIV came up negative but it was only at 2 and a half months testing. I've read alot about HIV and usually, as I read, conclusive results will come back by 10 weeks( exactly 2 and a half months ). They reccommend waiting until 3 months and then again at 6 to be sure. I read it is very rare to get a negative at 3 months and positive at 6 but it does happen to a small percentage of people. I just got tested today for it again, which will be my 3 month mark. I suffer from anxiety attacks as it is and am extremely worried about the results. I know I already tested at 2 and a half months and I read all different things(some say 6-10 weeks, some say as early as 2 weeks, some say 3 months) ...everyones body is different so at different times it will read the antibodies in the test. However, I cannot relax about this. I know alot of people worry about it after testing, but I am extremely worried. It is all I think about and I will know the results Friday but I'm really really scared I have it. We have had risky sex with other people these past few months now knowing their sexual status. I have already beat myself up over this many times and definately learned my lesson, but I can't shake this worry. I am distant from my boyfriend and am so scared if I have it, it will ruin my child's life. I may be overthinking this, but I am terrified for Friday and the doctor saying I am HIV positive. HIV is more common than society thinks, however, it is still a rare disease. I guess my question is, do you have any advice on how I can relax and ensure myself that I do not have HIV since it already came up neg after 2 and a half months?

Though there is no cure for HIV/Aids, medicine has greatly advanced since it's discovery. They do have treatments to slow symptoms and help you live a longer life.

That's on the chance that you do have it.

In the meantime, you need to calm down. When you start freaking out about it, try this:
Stop what you're doing.
Breath slowly and deeply.
Try to clear your mind to ward off negative thoughts.
Then try to avert your mental attention to a "happy place."

Perhaps that happy place is thinking of your baby's smile and laughter? Focusing on something so positive as that may help when you have those "what if" episodes.

Also think about how, though there is still that percentage of chance the test could come back positive, think of the relief you will feel when it comes back negative.

Until Friday comes, take things not a day at a time, but a moment at a time. Fill those moments with things that bring joy and positives to your life.

I don't know if that helps, but I sure hope it does. I hope you get back to me after Friday, and that all comes out well. :-)

ygs-30/f

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(Rating: 5) Thank you. I do not even know what to say. Your response brought tears to my eyes because it did help alot. I will definately try to relax more. Also, I will get back to you and let you know the update. Thank you again.

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