Okay, this is really long but I'm in desperate need of help so please take 5 min to help me.
I'm 16/f and I screwed up big time and it took me too long to realize what I've done. Long story short, I've really hurt my family by lying to them, deceiving them, and hiding things from them since 8th grade (and right now is the summer after 10th grade). I realized that I need to get myself together and stop doing whatever I want to do without thinking that there won't be any consequences. I told my mom I was sorry over a million times. I wrote her a front and back 3 page note telling her the things I realized & the way things are going to be and that I'll change not just for the family but for myself as well. But I've done that in the past without really meaning it and my mom completely ignored the note and is still really mad at me. And to make things worse, she and my dad are fighting because of me, well not the root cause but the triggering factor is me.
I don't know what else I can do to make up to her. A sorry and doing household chores isn't working. I am going to cut off all connections from people who haven't been the best influences in my life and people that I snuck out with resulting in me hurting my parents.
Also, my mom strongly believes (which means that no matter what, I won't be able to convince her otherwise) that I am taking ballet and became a vegetarian because of a girl (who she despises) made me do so. As silly as that sounds, this whole big fight is mainly over that one girl. But the problem is that I've wanted to take ballet for 5 years now and the only reason I didn't was because of money problems. And I wanted to be a vegetarian since 8th grade because of the animal cruelty and the fact that I don't and never really liked meat in the first place. And this is all before I met that girl. But I can't convince my mom of that so I was planning to tell her that if it hurts her so much and causes her so much troubles, I'll give up ballet and take ballroom dance with a guy that my mom adores and wishes I'd go out with or take jazz classes instead (I need some kind of dancing for school) & I was going to give up my vegetarianism (as much as the thought of me eating meat makes me nauseous) which means that I'll eat whatever she cooks even if it has meat or animal broth in it but does not mean that I'll be eating meat/chicken/fish chunks out of the dishes (which I'm afraid to add on because she might think that I really don't mean giving up my vegetarianism).
This is how serious I am about wanting to fix all the problems I made. I really am passionate about ballet and vegetarianism. I know that I can't fix it in one day or anything but what else can I do?
I really am sorry, perhaps more sorry than anyone can ever be. I want to change and become a better person and stop causing my family so much problems but it's getting harder and harder. I miss my mom's voice and her laugh and her hugs and I just want things to go back to better times. I don't know what to do.
I agree with the last post.
I would like to state that... Because so little information is included in questions (even long ones like yours) it's difficult to come up with specific answers. Since I only know little about the situation, I can only tell you this...
Talk, talk, talk to your mother. I can not stress how important communication is in all relationships. Apologize again, tell her that you understand why she is angry... But also tell her that her behavior is hurting you. In short, the silent treatment never helped anyone work through a problem. Ask her what you can do to help her get over this... And ask for help in making whatever changes necessary a reality.
And I don't think that you should give up ballet or vegetarianism. Articulate why these two things are an important part of your life and maybe she will begin to understand. But don't sacrifice a part of yourself just to appease her. Or anyone else for that matter.
[view]
(Rating: 5)
Our family has really big issues with communicating with one another, mainly because of our stubborn and quite different personalities, especially my mom. I mean, I know she means the best but she can be pretty hard headed with what she wants and it has to be her way or nothing else.
I talked to her about the dance issue and she never gave me a definite answer but I think that there is a big possibility that I'm going to end up having to take jazz or modern dance =/
I'm saving my vegetarianism until absolutely needed =.
Thanks for the advice, though.
|
