My husband and I purchased a cabin in the mountains four years ago. Along with that, we purchased two ATVs (four-wheelers) to ride the thousands of acres of mountain trails adjacent to our cabin property.
We love to have our children and grandchildren visit and have an open door policy where they're concerned.
Recently, my married daughter asked me, in front of her husband, if we would be willing to let them use the cabin for use with her husband's family. We told her we would have to think about it. We discussed it briefly with them and never gave them an answer.
My husband and I had already talked about this situation because we knew it would come up. I had expressed to my daughter shortly after we purchased the cabin that this was a "family only" cabin and was not open to in-laws. My daughter told me at that time that she understood. I feel like she was put up to asking me by her husband.
My husband and I feel strongly that we don't want my daughter's in-laws, or any other in-laws for that matter, accessing our cabin. Our cabin is as personal as our home, and I wouldn't lend out the use of my home to just anyone.
Also, I'm worried about the liability issue concerning the use of our four-wheelers and also who would be responsible if they damaged them.
I also feel like if we open up the cabin to this set of in-laws, our other children would assume that they would be entitled to bring their in-laws and friends to the cabin, which rightfully so they should.
Am I being too possessive of "my cabin"? I don't want to alienate my son-in-law, but, again, I don't feel I have any obligation to provide his family with a weekend retreat. I'm afraid if we allow it "just this once" that it will become expected that they can use it any time.
Please advise. Thanks
I don't think you're being overly possessive at all. Allowing your son-in-laws parents to stay at the cabin might upset your other children... And you made an excellent point concerning the liability issue.
The most difficult task would be explaining to your son-in-law _why_ his parents shouldn't be allowed to stay there. Do you think he would understand if you explained that, if his parents did stay, that it would seem unfair and cause problems between you and your other children? If so, maybe you could approach the subject from that angle.
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Thanks. I'll give that a try.
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