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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)Facts about me:
*happy
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advice
Ever since I was 5 my Dad got married, giving my a new step mother and step brother to deal with. His mom and my dad knew each other through our church, so I always knew he wasn't my real brother, and even if I didn't; He's Black and I'm Dominican, so it's kind of "apparent". I'm a couple of months older than he is.
He's usually a quiet and calm person, but I feel he goes out of his way to make time if I want to talk or just chill. He's an awesome step-brother; the best, and I thank God for him like everyday.
A couple of years back, I started looking at him...differently. All the traits I like about him, I started to love about him. Things I took for granted started becoming really difficult to do. I feel really self conscious when I'm next to him, and I feel awkward when we're in the same room, just watching TV. I can't even talk to him easily any more because of the secret I'm keeping from him.
It didn't take him long to pick up on it, and he tried to sit me down and talk. I was reluctant, but he got really worried that he'd done something to me and wouldn't let it go. we've talked about a lot of things but nothing as major as this. I wasn't sure how he'd take it, and I lost my temper and shouted at him to back off, and he started walking out the room. And then he said the worst words I'd want to hear. He said "I love you", something he doesn't just say out of the blue, but I can't tell if he loves me loves me, or whether it was just because he thinks I hate him for some reason. It's been three weeks since that incident, and we haven't spoken to each other, which I hate, but it makes living so close to him much more bearable.
I've never felt this way about anyone else before, and I know what I feel is real because of the fact he's my step brother so I know him intimately (platonic, not the other kind), but I'd hate to be rejected...or worse if he takes real bad.
Should I tell him how I really feel, or keep us distant?
Yes, of course it is possible that you love him in a way that you shouldn't. Just because you love him though, doesn't make things all okay. If it is the case that you do love him inappropriately, it's because you don't truly see him as a brother because you know he is not related to you by blood. You need to start seeing him as your brother because he is. Just because he isn't blood related to you doesn't mean he isn't as much your brother as if he was. No matter what you feel for him or what he feels back, you need to let this one go. I really feel for you because this has got to be tough, but I think that you know in your head and your heart that your love for him isn't right and it needs to end or you should at least act like it's not there. Again, I really strongly encourage you to talk to your Dad or step-mom about this. They should be able to help you through what you are feeling.
I know that this isn't what you want to hear, but I think you should. Even if you are not related to him, if you have been living with him for several years as brother and sister, having a relationship with him would be incestual. He is your brother. Legally and morally.
Even if what I said above were not true, you need to let this go. You are very close to him because you live with him. You will feel this type of connection with someone else after being with them for some time. It's actually quite normal to have the feelings that you do! Do not make them out to be more than they are.
Ok, so just because this isn't what you want to hear, guess what, it's the truth. It would be very wrong to act on your feelings. Of course you love him, he's your brother. Feelings like this for someone you know isn't related to you are confusing and can make you think that something is okay when it is not. Trust me, this isn't something you want to get involved with. You will deeply regret it if you do. You and your parents could get into a lot of trouble for it.
Do NOT tell him. It will only make the situation worse. The fact that you even have to ask this question should be enough to show you that telling him would be wrong.
If the feelings continue, you should probably tell your Dad or your step-mom. They may have some good advice for you. If you're not ready for that yet, see a counselor at your school. Though the feelings are pretty normal, you need to be able to control them and from this question, I'm not sure you can.
(Rating: 5) You were right - that wasn't what I wanted to here... but it makes sense. I kinda wish you'd posted this earlier. I already took someone else's advice and told my brother. He wasn't angry about it; He said he was relieved since he felt the same way. I have had my doubts about whether is being together was moral, but he thinks it's circumstantial, that if we got married, then our parents would be in the wrong. Even though he says that, he still hasn't told anyone about us yet.
When I first became attracted to him, I thought it was just in my head, but I know him behind closed doors rather than the superficial face people put on at school or college. I mean...isn't it possible that I'm in love with him? I know I can't speak for my Brother, but he makes me feel loved; feel wanted.