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Hello I just turned 26 (female) My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years now. Without a doubt he's the love of my life. I love him more than words can describe and the best thing is that he feels the same way about me :)
He landed a amazing gig where he will be recording in Shanghai for a month. It's been a few weeks now and we are both missing each other like crazy.
During these weeks in his absence I've been having these disturbing recurring dreams were I cheat on him. I have sex and fool around with random guys that I don't know. In my dreams while I'm doing this I feel guilty during and after the sex we have. Every dream ends with my boyfriend finding out and being furious that I broke his heart. I wake up feeling absolutely awful and guilty. I can't understand why I'm dreaming of these things that I would never do in my waking life!
Does anyone know why my mind would come up with such a dream and how to stop having them?
Thank you
Here's how dreams work. During the day when you're awake and concious, millions of thoughts and ideas and feelings go through your mind without you even realizing it. But most of those things get pushed aside, because you don't have the time, or the desire, to sit down and contemplate each one. So they get buried deep in your subconcious. But they're still there, and your mind needs to deal with them... so it deals with them while you sleep. That's why dreams are often so wacky... they're just all these random thoughts being processed one after the other.
Somewhere in your mind, you've wondered what it would be like, or what would happen, if you cheated on your boyfriend. That doesn't mean you want to, it just means you've wondered about it. And who hasn't? It's a normal thing to think about. But since you have no intention of doing it, and feel guilty even thinking about it, you've pushed those thoughts to the back of your mind. You might not even realize they were ever there.
Now that your boyfriend is away, the opportunity to cheat is greater than usual. And maybe you've worried that your boyfriend is concerned about your faithfulness. That's made those thoughts rise closer to the surface, which is why you've been dreaming about it right now. But dreaming about it doesn't mean you secretly want to do it... it just means your mind is examining the idea and working out your feelings about it.
So try not to worry about it or read too much into it. The fact that you feel guilty, even in your dream, shows that your mind has worked it out and confirmed what you already know: that you love your boyfriend and would never do anything to hurt him. And I bet the dreams will stop pretty soon.
Hope this makes you feel better!
(Rating: 5) Wow that totally makes since. Thank you so much for your answer, that really puts things in perspective :)