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I know from experience that the more you suck it up and play (too) nice, the more some people will take advantage of you. It does seem like your friend blew you off- so it's okay for her to go out of her way for somebody else, only to flake out on you? Absolutely not.
I think you already know inside that she is using you. It doesn't matter how nice she may be at times, the fact of the matter is that she is using you. For one thing, you have no responsibility AT ALL for paying for her gas money. A) Her parents can help her out, and B) if A isn't an option, she can GET A JOB. You have your own problems to deal with, and should not even fork over the money, especially on a weekly basis. When people consistently borrow money for their own affairs, without paying back, or even being thankful or anything, they are simply using you.
Now, another thing that I noticed. You said she flipped out at you for having to pick you up, forgetting stuff, whatever it is, she has absolutely NO right to get mad. You did not do anything to insult her, demean her, or otherwise make her feel like shit. You didn't do anything wrong, plain and simple. If she were such a good friend, she would react rationally, rather than flipping out. So that is something you definitely need to talk to her about.
You say she is so nice, but is she really? Is it just a mask, or is she really a nice person? Seems to me that she uses you for her own advantage, then plays the whole, " oh, you're so sweet," role, only to get you to stick around. She is also being so nice, it seems, because you let her borrow stuff. Is that all that matters to her? It looks like it. What bothers me is that she doesn't reciprocate, and acts like it's her right. Well, it isn't.
Ask yourself a few questions: How is her relationship with other people- does she also tend to use other people for things, or simply for her own gain? Does she often demean you in some way or make you feel low? Does she always want THINGS from you, whether it's money, a ride, etc.? Does she often flake out?
IF you find yourself saying, "yes, that is so her" to the above questions, you will immediately realize that she is not a good friend to you, and that she is playing on your weakness in order to get something out of you. Trust me, I have been through this before, and it hurts. First off, you have to talk to her, be firm, and let her know you are bothered. If she sticks to her ways and does not make an effort to change, then I'm sorry to say, you have to find other friends who will appreciate you, make time for you, give back, and will be very respectful. Above all, and this may take some effort, you have to stick up for yourself.
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