Jeanne's advice column

Okay, now most people who are going to read this, i dont really know how to word what im saying, but hopefully you'll be able to understand my situation.

now my problem is i feel weird around my parents, when im getting closer and closer with the boyfriend that i have, that they dont know about.

let me fill you in about my relationships with my parents & boyfriend. okay with my parents- im closer with my dad. hes really cool, like he's protective and cautious, but he knows when he needs to just lay off. he also is really smart, and helps me with alot of sticky situations. and my mom, im usually in that "mom leave me alone, im not in the mood. go away" phase, but shes pretty cool. but she can also be a little to noisy, and protective.
& my boyfriend, he really likes me. more then i like him. which is okay, i guess. hes extremely sweet, and respectable.

okay, back to my problem.
i feel kind of weird when we talk about our feelings for each other, like im kind of betraying my parents. i love my parents, but for some reason i just do not want to tell them i have a boyfriend. its just weird. and i do not want to tell them. so whenever my boyfriend and i get closer and closer, i just get a weird feeling like i shouldnt be with him. i dont know why i get that feeling, so i was hoping you could tell me what you think. i need some really good advice here, i dont know what to do.

i feel weird when it comes to boyfriends-family.

help?!
thank you guys

Well, it sounds like you're feeling guilty about having a boyfriend and keeping it from your parents. By not telling them the truth, it feels like you're lying to them. So when you're with him, you feel like you're betraying them. And I think it's pretty normal that you'd feel that way.

What would happen if you DID tell them about your boyfriend? Would they be mad, or make you break up with him? If you aren't sure, maybe you could ask them for their feelings about you dating, without actually telling them you have a boyfriend. If they're against the idea, perhaps you can ease them into it, by inviting him over with a group of friends and letting them get to know him a bit.

But whatever happens, you shouldn't feel guilty about your feelings for your boyfriend, or your personal, private conversations with him. That is something special for the two of you to share, and your parents don't have to be a part of that. It might seem weird, especially if you're used to telling your parents everything, like you did when you were little. But as you grow up, there will be certain parts of your life that are yours alone, and it's okay to keep them to yourself. That includes your feelings and private conversations with your boyfriend. Think about it... I'm sure there are certain things your parents say and do together that they don't share with you or anyone else. That's natural. And the same goes for you. You can choose to tell your parents anything you'd like, but you don't have to tell them everything that goes on in your relationships.

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(Rating: 5) wow, i completely agree and understand with everything you said. your advice was really good, and i could relate to everything you said. thank you very much

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