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Q: Ok me and my ex have been broke up since Nov 14th, I love her so much! but she is going out with another guy now who treats her like shit!! he doesnt even really love her. I want her back so much! me and my freind oliver were talking and he said "man she just told me like a week ago that she was finaly over you". the other night me and her were talking about our romantic memories i could name off 5 in great detail, but she couldnt. She has started to smoke to and I HATE smokers. And she said that its an escape. But i really just think she is doing it cause her new boyfreind is, and hes a loser. I dont know what to do, i said told her that i thought i knew what the problem was, it was that i boerd her. And she said yeah i think it was, not trying to be a bitch. She said there was something about me that she still likes, it was that i held her. I dont really like that fact that me and her did nothing but she has oral sex with her new boy freind, but her told me she isnt going to loss her virginity to him. I just dont know what to do! help me! Im really consirned about the smoking, cause they wont be together for to much longer i know that and she might get addicted. So how can i help get her back and get her off smoking?

Btw she is a stuborn 15 year old who wont listen to anything, she will if i make a really strong point without getting mad. thanks

All I can tell you is that it is extremely hard to change someone, especially for the better. I'm sure you are concerned that she is a smoker due to health reasons, and the fact that she seems to be doing it just because her current boyfriend is. But the fact is that people who start off on the wrong path often get lost- to the point that outside help is of little use.

She may very well wake up one day and think that she was wrong to have gone out with this guy and taken up smoking. But for now, it seems to me that she's just your average immature 15 year-old who is trying to fit in and act older. She might not ever want to get back together with you (or maybe she does, I don't know), but if she matures enough , then in time she will see she was wrong.

You are right to be concerned, but if you are overbearing with her, then she is not going to listen to you. You might want to have a talk with her and express your concern, but you can not force her to change, she has to wake up on her own. That will definitely take some time, but maybe eventually she will come to her senses (or not). There's only so much you can do. Just let her know that you are concerned about what she is doing, and possibly the new path she is taking with her boyfriend. And end it there. If she is willing to open her eyes, she will. If she isn't, it really isn't your problem, but hers.

By the way, as I like to say, a hole is a hole. Oral SEX, is still sex (albeit not traditional vaginal sex, but still).

Oh, yes, and to add- you mentioned she's stubborn- it might be part of who she is, or just a product of her teenage years (probably both), so don't get your hopes up too much. You do your part, and the rest is entirely up to her.

Rating: 5

Well, thank you. Cause this opened my eyes now to how she will have to learn for herself. Freinds have told me she will realise that she lost a great guy and thats her fault and that i should move on. But thank you:)

-309snasi

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I am here to give honest advice, when I feel I have something to contribute. I try to be as empathetic and understanding as I can, as I know that the way something is said is as important as the message itself.

I usually advise on love/relationships, friendship and family issues, nutrition, and health (mental and physical). If I feel I can help out, there's not a whole lot I am unwilling to answer. Ask away!