askciao77
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Q: I have this friend whom i really like. I got rejected by her twice and fucked up our friendship. Throughout the summer, we've been getting really close. We are actually super close w/ each other now. Now i don't know if i should tell her how i feel. Like this time i know for sure i can take what she has to say. I really just want to see her happy! But if im not the guy, thats fine. We also have so much chemistry together. I don't even know how to bring it up to her. I'm just scared of fucking up our friendship again. Like i know she'll probably feel a little different towards me. I just wanna see her happy and not fuck up our friendship. I really need advice because this has been on my chest for the longest time.
You seem really upset about this, but just remind yourself that this is how you feel, and there is nothing you can do to deny what's going on inside.

Chances are that you feel you messed up the friendship with her since she didn't feel the same. I know how it feels- it isn't ever easy to like someone who doesn't feel the same way (and she's your friend, so it might feel more awkward). But you know what? It should not matter if you are really friends. Although it's understandable that either she or you (or both) might feel awkward or otherwise uncomfortable about it, if you are truly friends, then your friendship will prevail.

Do not expect her to reciprocate the feelings- she rejected you twice so she probably doesn't feel the same way. But at the same time, you should also watch out for yourself. What I mean to say is this: be true to yourself. You should let her know how you feel because it's upsetting you..it seems you have something to get off your shoulders. Plus, a good friendship rests on solid honesty.

Do what you have to do- be honest with her. But also be yourself. Let the chemistry you have guide your friendship. Being honest with her about how you feel should not ruin the friendship. If you are very good friends, then the initial awkwardness will quickly disappear..and time will tell what else life has in store for the two of you. In the meantime, relax, be yourself, and enjoy the friendship.

Oh yes, and to add, if she's a good friend, she won't react unrationally. If she does (as in, overreacts, treats you mean), then you might have to re-evaluate the friendship, or at least have a good talk with her.

Thank you.

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ciao77
I am here to give honest advice, when I feel I have something to contribute. I try to be as empathetic and understanding as I can, as I know that the way something is said is as important as the message itself.

I usually advise on love/relationships, friendship and family issues, nutrition, and health (mental and physical). If I feel I can help out, there's not a whole lot I am unwilling to answer. Ask away!

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