Erinn_the_bamf's advice column

Hey, i read your description on your page and thought you could best help me with my problems.
This may be a bit long, i apologize in advance. I'll try to make this as short as possible. =D

14/F/Canada

New Years is coming up, which means resolutions!
Along with the weight loss and that stuff, one really important New Years Resloution in which i want to succeed in is not letting people push me around, especially my dad. He has always been very strict with me and im growing up, and i really want to stand up to him this year and show him that he has to let go and not be so overprotective. Part of this is, im not speaking up as much as i should. I am very reponsible, 86 average, dont do drugs or anything, and i dont makeup nor have a boyfriend. I really want to show him that he can not push me around like this, and im not going to keep quiet all the time about it. When i do try to do that, i come off as arrogant and very rude. He is not the understanding type and actions speak more then words to him, so im terribly confused. Not only with him, i need some skills for the outside world as well (high school, etc). You say in your description that you choose to stand out. Can you explain/ help me with this please? To make the question more clear, i really need advice on how excatly not to let people push me around. I want my own identity and to be confident about it. Thank you so much, i really appreciate you reading this. =D

Obviously, the way you stand up for yourself is by saying "no." However, the word no doesn't seem so easy to say when saying it could result in an argument. Therefore, there are a few key things you need to remember.

1) You are your own person. Yes, you are fourteen, so technically your parents do have control over you, but if you feel strongly about something, ultimately, it is your decision.

2) No one has the power to make you feel inferior without your premission. If people say nasty things to you, remember, all they really want is a reaction. If you stay positive and overlook their nasty comments you remain in control.

3) Think for a second before you react. Do they have a point to what they're saying? The person may not be saying what you want to hear, but they could be doing something for your benefit. If they are just being rude, then by all means put an end to what they are saying, but take a step back and think first.

If you remember what I told you, it will be easier to stand up for yourself. This is one of my New Year's Resolutions also. If I didn't fully explain this, tell me, and I'll revise!

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(Rating: 5) Thank you, you explained it pretty well, i will try to follow these and hopefully all turns out well in the end. Thank you!

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