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Q: okay so ive known my boyfriend for about two years now, and ive been going out with him for 6 months. it took us a long hard time to get to this point and i know he loves me with everything hes got. well hes reallllly against drinking, and today he asked me if i did. and i didn't want to lie, even though i could've and he wouldve never found out.. . but i told him the truth, that i do. and he was SO disappointed. like..i dont think he can look at me the same way...he was just so shocked, as if im a totally different person than what he thought i was. so my question is that how do i fix this? i feel so bad, because i knew he was against it....he said hes not mad at me, just dissappointed. any advice? comments? anything..=(?
I completely agree with the previous answer- your boyfriend should understand that you are not going to follow every one of his beliefs. He's against drinking, but you are not. He probably thinks of drinking in terms of binging and being an alcoholic. But having a drink or two every now and then is fine, and it certainly doesn't make you an alcoholic.
Maybe his concern is age-related (as in he thinks you're too young), or he's completely against drinking all together. Or maybe he's disappointed because you didn't tell him earlier. It could be any or all of the above. But you didn't do anything wrong, since you were honest when he asked you. It doesn't matter at all that you were already aware that he's against drinking--it has nothing to do with YOU, it is HIS personal belief, and not yours. He should understand that. And of course he's not mad at you, you didn't do anything to intentionally hurt him. If he's disappointed, it's his issue. Just let him know that you enjoy an occasional drink, and don't feel that there's anything wrong with it. You can tell him that you two can agree to disagree...that usually works in disagreements. You are two different people. You aren't going to agree with everything he says, does or believes.

thank you so much. i hope its okay if i ask you a question in your inbox if anything....that really makes sense by the way, thanks again.

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ciao77
I am here to give honest advice, when I feel I have something to contribute. I try to be as empathetic and understanding as I can, as I know that the way something is said is as important as the message itself.

I usually advise on love/relationships, friendship and family issues, nutrition, and health (mental and physical). If I feel I can help out, there's not a whole lot I am unwilling to answer. Ask away!

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