Erinn_the_bamf's advice column

I'm a senior in high school and part of a requirement to graduate is a project in which I have to have 15 hours with a mentor. The mentor I chose was my mothers boss. She's always been friendly and she agreed to do it. Unfortunately for me, my mother found employment with another company and quit yesterday (Monday). Her boss wasn't happy. The company is attemptig to refuse to pay my mother money owed to her, they're all in a big fight. Her former boss signed a "contract" in order to be my mentor and agreed to continue meeting with me becuase she doesn't back down from a committment. This puts me in a really difficult place. I still plan on meeting her and whatnot, but I'm not sure how to act. I want to be polite. I also know that she'll ask me questions about my mother and the family and I'm not sure how to go with it. I'm only 16 (17 soon) and it's just a really awkward position.
My parents and mentor are currently fighting, I have to spend another 10 hours with her. I'm just not sure what to say when I get there. I don't want to be too cordial and stiff, I also don't want to be too personal. Our next meeting isn't until October 26th so I have plenty of time to figure out what I want to say and how to act. Once I break the ice after this first meeting I'm sure the meeting after will go smoothly. I just don't want to be uncomfortable this first time because if I can find comfort in the meeting the first time then I'll know how to behave all times afterwords. I know it's kind of confusing but I'm not sure how to word this.

Anyway, do you have any advice on how to greet my mothers former boss? It's just so complicated right now. I know I'll have to face adversity in life and this is a grand time to start. I don't want to back down and choose a new mentor when it's so close to the due date for the project. (The paper is due Nov. 2nd. The other things are due in the begining of December). Especially when I don't know anybody else who has enough experience on my topic to meet the mentor qualification requirements.

Thanks in advance.

Greet her as you would greet any other person. Say hello and how are you. Briefly ask her if everything has been going well. Then get straight to business. The fact that your mother no longer works for her gives neither of you any reason to be impolite to each other.

If she does happen to mention your mother in the casual hello, answer her the question she asks then quickly get into your work. If she asks something too personal simply tell her you don't feel comfortable about that.

The number one thing not to do is say "Well, this is awkward." People tend to think this breaks the awkwardness, however, it really makes things much more awkward. This espically holds true if the other person felt comfortable to begin with- they now feel as if you aren't comfortable around them. Most importantly: the "awkward turtle" hand movement is completely off-limits.

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(Rating: 5) Thanks, this helps.

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