about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

15/F [SORRY IF IT'S LONG]

Last year in the beginning of the year, I met this guy. Let's name is Bob. Well, I'm pretty shy. But Bob would talk to me. And I started to like him. Towards the middle of the year, we stopped talking. But I still liked him. I found out he was doing drugs. So, I started liking someone else. And during the summer he was all I can think about. And now this year, I don't have any clases with him [we had one together last year] And I really don't see him around campus. But when I do see him, memories come back. And I admit, I still like him. How can I stop liking him? I don't want to like him. He's really not a good person. And we really don't talk anymore. I like other guys. Like this year, I like this guy. Let him be Oswald. I don't talk to him. But he's really nice. And I want to talk to him. What can I do? But even if I do like Oswald, I prefer Bob. But I don't want to prefer Bob. I want to prefer Oswald. Help me, please!

Thanks in advance.

The thing is you DON'T like Bob. You don't like the choices he has made in his life and you don't think he's a good person. You can control whether or not you like someone. What you can't control is whether or not you are attracted to them. Don't try to control things that you can't. It'll only frustrate you. There's nothing that can help you other than time. Eventually the attraction will go away. There's nothing wrong with that though. Being attracted to him means nothing unless you make it mean something. All through your life you will be attracted to people that you don't like. Everybody is. You, at least, have the ability to tell the difference. Just because you're attracted to him doesn't mean that you should be with him. You can and do prefer Oswald. You may not feel as attracted to him right now, but if you give him a chance, your attraction for him will grow. Think of Bob as just an annoyance, trying to mess up your mind. If you don't let your attraction for him affect the choices that you make, that's when you've taken control. Take control of this situation where control is actually an option!!! Good luck. :)

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(Rating: 5) Thank you so much!

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