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Q: Okay well me & this guy are best friends and we really love each other a lot {but just as friends not bf gf}. and he told me today that i make him feel like shit. So 2nite on the fone he said its the way i always turn everything good in his life negative, and i think im just telling the truth. We both know that i don't have the will to try for anything, I have never had the will to try, so he won't believe me when I said I'm gonna rly try not to be so negative. Also tonight on the phone i asked him if I was a horrible person for doing this to him and he said I'm not gonna lie and didnt answer... and when he finally did answer he said im rly tired and I need to go to bed. So i dont kno if he was jus ttoo tired or if im a horrible person! Please please help me!!! he's my wprld and idk how to get him to trust that i'll try!!! help this heartache is killing me!!!
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Listen, it's not your fault that your friend feels this way. He's being honest with you, and letting you know how your negativity affects him. But in no way was your behavior intentional. THAT is what you need to make clear to him- that you didn't mean to hurt him, and that it wasn't your intention to make him "feel like shit," as he says. He clearly means a lot to you-- and if he says that you are always being negative, then that's something you should work on. You say tou don't have the will to try, but in this case, you really should. Make an effort to try being more positive around him.. it'll even make you feel better. I think you should talk to him in person, and explain how much you care about him, that you are not a horrible person, and that you didn't mean to hurt him. Let him know that you understand, and still want to be on good terms.. and that you will try. And mean what you say. Really put an effort into being more positive around him. Seriously.. but do let him know how you feel. And also, make sure to ask him what he means, and why he feels the way he does. I think that talking things over with him is half the story. The other half lies with you: try making an effort, though it may be hard. I know where you're coming from, i tend to be negative as well. Sometimes I try to catch myself.. Try talking about things that make you happy, or that you are thankful for. You can't change who you are, but you can try changing your perspective on things. Hope I helped.
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Omg thank you so much!!! this is amazing advice and I'm already planning what I'm going to say and do tomorrow!!! again thank you!!! You've probably saved the best friendship i could ever have!!!
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bio
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I am here to give honest advice, when I feel I have something to contribute. I try to be as empathetic and understanding as I can, as I know that the way something is said is as important as the message itself.
I usually advise on love/relationships, friendship and family issues, nutrition, and health (mental and physical). If I feel I can help out, there's not a whole lot I am unwilling to answer. Ask away!
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Info
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Gender: Female Location: Los Angeles Age: 35 Member Since: December 9, 2006 Answers: 541 Last Update: November 25, 2016 Visitors: 51182
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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