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my best friend thinks im horrible... my friendship is ending
Okay well me & this guy are best friends and we really love each other a lot {but just as friends not bf gf}. and he told me today that i make him feel like shit. So 2nite on the fone he said its the way i always turn everything good in his life negative, and i think im just telling the truth. We both know that i don't have the will to try for anything, I have never had the will to try, so he won't believe me when I said I'm gonna rly try not to be so negative. Also tonight on the phone i asked him if I was a horrible person for doing this to him and he said I'm not gonna lie and didnt answer... and when he finally did answer he said im rly tired and I need to go to bed. So i dont kno if he was jus ttoo tired or if im a horrible person! Please please help me!!! he's my wprld and idk how to get him to trust that i'll try!!! help this heartache is killing me!!!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I dont think you are a horrible person, he went a bit overboard about that. But it is obviously bothering him. I'm not really sure what exactly you are saying to him to make him feel like this, but I'll give you an example. If he says something like he is going away for the summer. Although it would be crappy for you, make it sound like you are excited and happy for him. That's just a vague example. Try to think of him more. That's not horrible, its actually human nature. But it does get annoying. Sometimes people need to give white lies to make people feel better or whatever. You say that you think you are just telling the truth, but sometimes the truth hurts, and you might have to pick your battles. Sorry to be kind of blunt, but i hope i gave you a couple ideas on how to help.
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Can you say specifically how you make things "negative" in his life?
From what it sounds like, your guy friend likes you as in he wants you.
Try to figure out what exactly he wants, you can either figure this out through being direct(asking him what he wants) or subtle(asking his friends). Chances are that he wants you though. Other than that, just be as nice to him as possible.
But just for the record, he sounds like he's trying to play a guilt trip on you.
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I don't think you're a horrible person at all, that was unfair. We all have our issues to deal with, some more than others and not everyone always understands them so he may just not understand. He may have been tired so give him some time to cool down and gather his thoughts. He may not even have meant everything he had said to you.
Try not to worry and just let things simmer down. Give him some time and then try talking to him tomorrow and then tell him how you feel. Tell him what you said in your question - that he is your best friend who you love very much and who means a lot to you. Tell him you do want to try but you need your friends support there to help you along the way.
Just let him calm down then talk to him again. I hope everything gets resolved, I know how much we all need our friends there for support, just hang in there. *hugz*
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Listen, it's not your fault that your friend feels this way. He's being honest with you, and letting you know how your negativity affects him. But in no way was your behavior intentional. THAT is what you need to make clear to him- that you didn't mean to hurt him, and that it wasn't your intention to make him "feel like shit," as he says. He clearly means a lot to you-- and if he says that you are always being negative, then that's something you should work on. You say tou don't have the will to try, but in this case, you really should. Make an effort to try being more positive around him.. it'll even make you feel better. I think you should talk to him in person, and explain how much you care about him, that you are not a horrible person, and that you didn't mean to hurt him. Let him know that you understand, and still want to be on good terms.. and that you will try. And mean what you say. Really put an effort into being more positive around him. Seriously.. but do let him know how you feel. And also, make sure to ask him what he means, and why he feels the way he does. I think that talking things over with him is half the story. The other half lies with you: try making an effort, though it may be hard. I know where you're coming from, i tend to be negative as well. Sometimes I try to catch myself.. Try talking about things that make you happy, or that you are thankful for. You can't change who you are, but you can try changing your perspective on things. Hope I helped.
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