I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 70164
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ok well i feal like such a bad person. Like im aalways hurting. Because my boyfriend went to the army and i feel bad cuz i talk to guys but not flirt and i feel like thats wrong. And i drank a couple of times n i feel bad for doing that. i feel like im such a bad person and i jsut want to die. i dont know what to do HELP! (link)
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The first thing here is that I am sure he realises how difficult this time is for you. Having a boyfriend gone for any reason is hard enough but having him gone because he is in the army is by far the hardest.
That being said, you haven't done anything wrong. You keep punishing yourself for things you haven't done and know you wouldn't want to do. All you are doing is hanging out with people. Yes, guys can become boyfriends, they can become husbands, they can become men we have affairs with but they can also JUST be friends. This is something we tend to forget, especially when in relationships. If all these men are to you is friends, why are you so determined to beat yourself up about it?
I understand you are loyal to boyfriend. This is a very good thing and given that he's in the army, it's very admirable. I for one have known some people who would barely bat an eyelid at hooking up with another guy if their own was in the army! But you need to let yourself have fun as well. Just because he's gone, it doesn't mean your life has to stop. He may be the most important thing in your life but no man should ever be the ONLY thing in your life. You need to have a life without him. That doesn't mean you flirt with other men or that you go further than that. It just means that you remember to have fun and be you without the romantic aspect of your life.
Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are allowed to have fun. You are even allowed to have fun with other men. Just as long as you don't do anything romantic or sexual with them, you aren't hurting anyone and you aren't doing anything that would risk hurting your relationship.
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