Hi Everyone!!
My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.
My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".
I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.
I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.
Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.
PHEW!!!
Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.
Brenda
Website: Help Me, Brenda!
E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com
Gender: Female
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Occupation: student
Age: 34
Member Since: April 9, 2006
Answers: 193
Last Update: October 5, 2006
Visitors: 22506
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I think im going phyco.I spend about half my day by myself because my family is always working or over a friends house.I ahng with friends yes but i want to see my family and it doesnt happen.they have to work and i understand that but we do nothing as a family.I feal terrible because i have asked for a diffrent family.is that bad.they dont abuse me they just leave to go to worik or friends and im sick of being alone ive started talking to myself and it scares me cause i talk in the sence of there 2 more people there with me.im not aloud to have friends over when im by myself so yeah ive tryed but it sux i even pretend that my best friend is there wat do i do to get my family closer or to spend more time with me.....
katie (link)
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Hi Katie
Wow...it's not very often you hear a teen who says she wishes she could spend MORE time with her family. I think it's great!!
First of you are NOT going psycho...you are lonely. That's only natural if you're left alone all the time. People talk to themselves all the time. I do it regularly....my daughter will be like.."mom, who are you talking to?", and I just say "to myself". It's totally normal, so don't think you're crazy.
Now, I think you need to sit down with your parents, or even just your mom, and tell her how you feel. If you don't say anything, then nothing will change. They are probably completely unaware that you are feeling this way. They will likely be grateful to hear that you want to be around them more.
You could suggest that one night a week you could all do something as a family. Play games, go mini golfing, go shopping, anything that would bring you all together.
Maybe you could also try to come to an agreement that you would be allowed to have ONE friend over when your parent's aren't home. I'm not sure how old you are, but if you can prove to your parent's that you are responsible enough to have a friend over, then that could ease your loneliness when your parents have to be at work.
Just make sure to talk to them. Communication is the key...without it, they will never know how you feel.
Good luck, and take care,
Brenda
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Rating: 5
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thank you is this advice is the best and im 14 and i only wish that they would give me more responsibilty,but that you and your really good at this thanks.!!!
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