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Hi Everyone!!

My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.

My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".

I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.

I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.

Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.

PHEW!!!

Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.

Brenda


Website: Help Me, Brenda!
E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com
Gender: Female
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Occupation: student
Age: 34
Member Since: April 9, 2006
Answers: 193
Last Update: October 5, 2006
Visitors: 22508

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I`ve been abused by my dad sense I was little. He hasnt done it as much but he has been doing it still. Last night he hit my really bad with his fists nd choked me. I love my family so much but it hurts me so bad that I get hurt and I feel like im not worth anything. What should I do? I dont like living here but I wouldnt like living anywhere else! what should i do? My dad has been reported to the department of human services but they never do anything. Im 15 by the way. Im just tired of being hit and left with bruises and the emotional pain!

what should i do? (link)
Hi

That's child abuse sweetie...and it needs to stop.

You say the department of human services won't do anything? I bet if you walked in there, and showed them your bruises, and expressed your pain, they would do something.

What does your mom do through all of this? I'm sure she's aware...maybe she's being abused as well? Even if she is, that's still no excuse to let him abuse you. I just got thinking that maybe your parent's aren't together? Could you go and live with your mom?

Whatever you decide to do, just remember that your dad has NO RIGHT to lay his hands on you in anger or abuse. You have the power to stop him, and take your life into your own hands. You're not a helpless child.

There are people out there that can help you. If human services won't, then go to the police, a teacher, anybody that can help you.

Take care, and know that you deserve to be loved, not hurt!!

Brenda


Rating: 5
My parents do live together. My mom just says "she didnt see it" iv gone to teachers councelers nd police .. the DHS things im old enough to take care of myself




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