Hi Everyone!!
My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.
My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".
I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.
I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.
Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.
PHEW!!!
Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.
Brenda
Website: Help Me, Brenda!
E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com
Gender: Female
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Occupation: student
Age: 34
Member Since: April 9, 2006
Answers: 193
Last Update: October 5, 2006
Visitors: 22494
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I really don't know if I did the right thing breaking up with my boyfriend. Every one I talked to has said I've done the right thing. Well anyway, my ex had "friends" who called me names all the time right in front of him and he never did anything about. Another occurance was when one of his friends threw dry glue at right in front of him. Well he just watched it happen. I have no problem with standing up for myself. It's just, well I don't know that's why I'm asking the question. (link)
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Hi
I think I know why you asked the question. You want to verify that you did the right thing. YOU DID!!
First off...good for you, for thinking highly enough about yourself to know that you deserve way better than that. It's great that you can stick up for yourself (that definitely comes in handy at times), but you should not have to stick up for yourself infront of your boyfriends friends.
The fact that he did not defend you is ridiculous. In my opinion he doesn't really care about your well-being. The dry glue incident could very well be assault. Kick him to the curb girlfriend...and keep him there.
You sound like a very intelligent, nice person who will find someone who will not only stick up for you , but protect you at all costs. Take care.
Brenda
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