Hi Everyone!!
My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.
My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".
I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.
I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.
Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.
PHEW!!!
Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.
Brenda
Website: Help Me, Brenda!
E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com
Gender: Female
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Occupation: student
Age: 34
Member Since: April 9, 2006
Answers: 193
Last Update: October 5, 2006
Visitors: 22483
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what time do clubs open? like the drinking and dancing type.. and how can i get guys to notice me there, without appearing to be slutty? (link)
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Hi
Clubs in my area are open all afternoon and evening. Usually closing around 2am.
It's totally normal to want to be noticed by the opposite sex (or same sex depending on your preference).
Because I'm older and have been through the club scene for years, I've come to a few conclusions. #1 - clubs are a meat market...people checking each other out, and coming to conclusions about their person. #2 - guys that are looking for a one night stand generally aren't too picky about what you look like (within reason of course). Now I'm hoping that you are not just looking for a one night stand so this is where my advice comes in.
Anyone who is looking for a sincere relationship likely won't find it at a club/bar.
You can look totally sexy and hot without looking like a slut. Trust me, you can look amazing in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt versus slutty in an outfit that barely covers. If you dress cleverly you can leave ALOT up to the imagination...you can be more mysterious, and seductive. Just remember to stay true to who you are and don't pretend to be someone you're not.
Brenda
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