About lucretia
I have been on this site a little while now, and while I have never been one of its more prolific columnists, I do read a helluva lot more questions than I answer. The reason for this is that I feel that a lot of the questions are very similar, so I tend to pick the better worded and/or more interesting ones among them:plus I without fail will answer anything you care to drop in my inbox. But for those of you whose questions I do not specifically address, here are my top five tips to make the world(and advicenators, which is after all the hub of the universe) a better place:
Enjoy!
1)You will generally be happier if you are not
constantly taking your emotional temperature. So much stress is placed these days on FEELING, that people forget that the way to FEEL happy is to DO. So get over yourself and take up skateboarding, drumming(which I highly recommend) "mumblety-peg, if that's where your heart lies". Whatever it is though, just get on with it and you'll be allright.
2) If s/he says "you're too good for me", then s/he isn't interested. End of story.
3)Honour thy father and thy mother, unless they're actually beating the crap out of you, in which case you need to call on outside agents to mediate.In all other cases though, take it easy on your folks-you won't regret it later in life.
4)In 90% of cases, cheating is unaccepatable and inexcusable. If you think that your partner is part of the 10% (or whatever random minority)of excusable cheaters, then ask yourself why. Is it because you're such hell to live with that it's a miracle that anyone would date you, let alone stay faithful? If it is , then you have one of two problems; you either have a personality disorder which makes you undateable, or you have such low self esteem that you believe yourself undateable. In either case, you need help, so go to a counselor, therapist, doctor, whatever, just sort it out.
5) Read self-help books. Just take them with a pinch of salt. Seriously, they make great reading, and can give remarkably sound advice, but you must not believe every word they say, or you will very possibly end up resembling , if not actually becoming , a speed freaked zombie wearing day-glo juicy couture. By self help books, I mean any thing which gives you x number of rules to live by, and suggests that the key to fulfillment lies within these rule(a bit like I'm doing now-book my '07 convention early to avoid disappointment.10% discount for advicenators columnists).Books to approach with caution include "The Rules" and the "Surrendered" series by Laura Doyle. But the jewel in the self help crown has to be the beautiful "The Bitch Rules" by Elizabeth Wurtzel. If you can read this book and not smile, laugh, and just feel unfettered joy at living, you are either the aforementioned zombie, or you are living in some banana republic. In either case, you are beyond my help,but I feel you.
Take care!
Lucretia
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Website: My LiveJournal
E-mail: lucrece_13@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Student
Age: 22
Member Since: September 9, 2005
Answers: 155
Last Update: August 29, 2006
Visitors: 18284
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Well my friend at school is really beautiful and very flirtatious and all the guys like her, but im kinda the tomboy girl who all the guys "hang out with" but dont "go out with". but recently her ex bf has started to like me but he says he still likes my friend (his ex) and she still likes him too(she is in a relationship), soo please help and tell me what to do !
I would say go carefully; your situation is somewhat delicate. From reading your question, you sound like a much better candidate for a girlfriend than your friend-(some) guys come to recognize this as they get older, and those than don't are the lightweights that you shouldn't bother with. Your crush sounds more sensible:his behaviour is however not acceptable, as it not only could drive a wedge between you and your friend, but also leaves you unsure and perhaps feeling inadequate, in the shadow of your friend and her beauty. Tell him that he has to make a definite choice between the two of you-if he likes her, let him ask her back out, if you, then go for it and nevermind her. Ultimatuming him may seem harsh, but he musn't get away with umming and aahing and stringing you along.
There is however a disadvantage to the procedure which I have just outlined: what if he indeed chooses you over her, and she gets mad? If he was anyone but an ex of hers, I would say that all's fair in love and war-the rules for exes are however a little different. I would still say though that if she's a real friend of yours, she would be happy. Talk to her first, and see what gives.
Good Luck.
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(Rating: 5)
thank you soo much u give awesome advice and u have opened up my eyes
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