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Q: My dad made me cry my eyes out today. This is what happened.
Well last August I was asked by my cousin to be a bridesmaid for her wedding in April of this year. I said yes, and at the time was unemployed. Well I have a job now at a really good company. But I'm still on a 3 month probation. My grandma (who is paying for the wedding) was expecting me to take 3 days off on a weekend this Febuary just for a dress fitting!! She lives 6 hours away, and I would have had to take the greyhound bus. I told my dad this and he started screaming at me, saying that I was going to lose my job over this. I have a mental illness, and this is the first job I've had in 5 years. He said I would never get another job again and that he wanted me to drop out of the wedding, and that the job was too important. Well I started to cry because I really want to be a bridesmaid but also don't want to lose my job. I asked him if he could phone grandma and make some sort of comprimise, like maybe get the dress fitted her. Then he said "the fact that you're crying shows how delicate you are". He was really mean about the whole thing.
I still want to be in the wedding. I talked to my grandma and she is going to send up the fabric for me to get a local seamstress to make the dress so I won't have to take time off work until the wedding. But I'm still really upset at my dad. How should I act around him? And does anyone else think what he said was out of line?

Yes, it was out of line but I understand that he is a little excited about you getting your first job in 5 years and stuff like that. He doesn't want to see you get unemplyed and not get another job that pays as good. That's probably all he is saying. However, it's your life and you have choices and decisions. I know you may like your job but your cousin's wedding (in my oppinion) is more important. You seem adult enough to make your own decisions for yourself. It's not your dad's life. Ask your grandma if you could take 1 or 2 days instead of 3 but explain to her that you like your job and too much time off work could result in unemplyment. That's a very important concept and your grandma should understand, if she's an understandable type person.
How should you act around him? Act tough like you know what you're doing but make sure you really do because then, it won't be hard to do, right? You need to show him that he didn't have an impact on you and you are going to make your decision. It's not up to people on Advicenators to decide whether you should risk getting fired or missing the wedding. It's up to you, not anyone else but YOU! I suggest you consider telling your grandma that your job is important and a dress isn't AS important... it's important but notAS important as losing your job and you don't want to lose your job over a dress fitting. Just tell her... she should listen and if she doesn't, don't even care because she needs to understand as your family member that your job makes a HUGE impact but it's just a dress... you're gonna wear it to the wedding and when you get home, you're gonna take it off and stuff it in your closet until someone else gets married but you're probably gonna get a new dress anyway! :-) Don't worry about it!
-Kayla