About Nevaeh314
Ask me about: Social Situations, Relationships, Depression, Suicide, Health, How to Deal with Loss, School, Random weird things that don't fit into any of the above ;) I think I'm pretty good at giving advice, just ask and I'll give it my best shot. I've experienced a lot of it, and I don't mind doing a little research if I haven't. I love playing piano, clarinet, in general I just love music, and I love to write and read, poetry especially, and I love mathematics, physics, and oceanography. I've been told I'm mature for my age, but I don't know, I just think that a person has to be who they are, true to themselves, and not worry about what fits into an age group. I love simply living as best as I can, working when I have to, and having fun. It's all in your perspective. Just a quote that I like "Dreams are made and broken, potentials realized and never reached, all on the breath of one phrase: It could be."
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E-mail: Nevaeh314@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Wisconsin
Occupation: Piano Teacher
Age: 17
Member Since: July 16, 2005
Answers: 156
Last Update: May 14, 2006
Visitors: 15414
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Advicenators.com
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On Xxrocker's column page, I posted a huge question about this girl who I was friends with, but had a crush on. I asked how to tell her that I like her. Well, now, I've told her, and she sent me a huge long email, where every other word was "sorry", and that she liked me as a friend, didn't want to break the friendship, I'm the coolest guy she's ever met, etc. etc. etc.
I tried to shrug it off, I e-mailed her saying that I really didn't care, I was just wondering, all that jazz. Only problem is, ever since I got one girlfriend, I've developed a need for them in my life. I'm really scrrewed up now, I keep thinking about her... I need her... or someone... only problem is, there's no one else! My only other girlfriend ever was online, and she's never on anymore! I'm kinda messed up now, even more than I had been when I thought she liked me.... Everyone was sure that she liked me and had been flirting with me all year, I shoulda accepted their bets.
Fellow advicenators, what should I do?
Keep your friendship with this girl, first of all. Friends are some of the most important people in your life, and they'll be there for you through breakups, and other things that you can't share with anyone else.
Now, for this friend of yours. (I'm going to call her Jane.) When Jane says that she cares about you as a friend, she really means it. I can tell you a bit of what she probably felt when she found out. She really, really didn't want to hurt you, but just didn't see you as a boyfriend, and she didn't know how to tell you. She probably stressed over it for a while, and finally decided that the best way to tell you so that she could get all her thoughts out was by email. I'm a girl (as you've probably guessed), and this happened between myself and a friend very recently. Apparently my best friend had really strong feelings for me, but I just didn't see him as a boyfriend, because he just wasn't quite what I was looking for. he's having a really hard time getting over it (like you) and I just wish that he could see how much that hurts to know that I hurt him. He's my best friend, and I trust him with anything and everything. I love him to death, and would turn to him with anything or be there for him through anything. Sometimes it's better to have a friend for that, and I don't know what I'd do without him. So honestly, I'm guessing Jane really values your friendship, and she wants to be there for you and visa versa, but she's looking somewhere else for love right now.
now, about your dependency on having a girlfriend. Try to realize that while it can be nice to have someone there for you in the 'girlfriend' sense, there's a few things you have to get straight before anything's going to work out. First, you have to know who you are. Not completely, we're all still searching at this age, but make sure you're not lost, and that you're comfortable with the person that you've become. Trust me, a girl is going to like a guy if they truly have something unique about themselves, and their personality. Know what those things are. Next, you have to see that getting a girlfriend just to have someone there shoudn't be what it's about. If you're genuinely interested in another person, and what they think about and feel, and their hopes, dreams, fears, their perspective on life, and if you truly have a desire to know every detail of this person, you know that you truly like them. Wait it out until you find that person where you just smack yourself and say "That's her."
Good luck, hope this helps.
:) Nevaeh
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(Rating: 5)
Thanks, the advice really helped =)
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