This may be a little long, sorry.
I've been with my boyfriend [we are both 18] for almost three years. Ever since he started college, he began experimenting with pills. I honestly don't like people who mess around with drugs, and I've told him that I don't want him poppin pills. He told me he likes the feeling, and that he isn't going to stop until he wants to, whether or not I like it, and if it bothers me that much, that he wont tell me when he does it.
I'm not saying that I want to leave him or anything, but I don't like the fact that he hasn't put my feelings into consideration. He gets mad at me when I get mad at him, and I can't stand that. I'm not the one doing anything wrong, unless caring about him and his health is wrong.
I really don't know how to go about this situation, because it does make me very upset. When he goes to parties, I tend to wonder if he's doing drugs [pills] and I get mad. It's not like I can ask him either, because really, it doesn't make a difference, and I know that, and because he even said it himself, he's not going to tell me when he does it.
Now I feel that there is lack in communication and trust. between him and I. Am I being overprotective? He had said to me before, "watch when you go to college, you'll see how the world is really like, and you're going to experiment in a lot of different things." [I will be attending college this fall] But I know that I wouldn't do drugs because I live in a big city, where drugs are put out in the open, and I haven't tried anything besides weed. Besides, I absolutely HATE people who pop pills.
With that also being said, I'm beginning to feel a type of way because he is one of those people. I don't hate him though and I don't want to end a three year relationship with him just because he is taking pills. I just don't know what to do or say to him anymore.
Please help. Any advice is welcomed. Thank you.
Okay, first of all, I'm going to take his "real world" speech and throw it out the window. While a lot of people do experiment with drugs during college, a lot of people don't. I'm one of them. Not like I'm a "goody-goody" and haven't been offered either. So the next time he says this to you, call him on it. It's a sorry excuse and a load of BS.
I know that you've invested a lot of time into this relationship, that you care about your boyfriend, and that you don't want to break up with him. But...since I have been there, done that, I can honestly say that I think this is the beginning of the end for the two of you. Sorry, I know it's harsh. But like I said, been there, done that.
You're right. He didn't take your feelings into consideration. And you can't trust him anymore. He basicly told you this to your face. These are two big red flags, please don't ignore them.
And there is nothing you will every be able to do to get him to quit. He told you this too.
So...Is this who you want to be with? An addict who doesn't care about your feelings, who you can't trust.
I hope not. I hope not because you sound like a girl with her head screwed on straight. I bet you have a lot going for you, and you deserve the best. Don't settle for less than you deserve, and don't allow him to ruin your life with his addiction.
I know I sound like a big meanie. Like I said, I'm sorry. The only reason why I am being brutally honest is because I used to date an alcholic, and I don't want you to experience all the emotional anguish that I did. Please, save yourself...
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(Rating: 5)
love the advice. thank you
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