I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
Visitors: 32905
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Both of us are in college.
She asks me if I can see us together, what it'll be like, how we'll live, kids, etc etc. Problem is I'm not sure I can think that way. See I'm excruciatingly busy, as is she, and things are very uneasy right now, e.g. I don't have a clue what I'll be doing next week let alone next year. So when she asks me to explain the future, I don't know what to say.
Subsequently we broke up, mostly due to the fact that she doesn't want to be with someone that doesn't see a future. Its not that I don't see a future with her as I don't see a future period. I honestly have no idea what things are going to be like or what I'm going to do. I still love her, and she says that she loves me as well.
Should we have broken up? If not, how can we get back together (my thoughts haven't changed, nor have hers). Thanks. (link)
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Yes, you were right to break up. Neither of you are wrong to feel the way you do, but the truth is, you are not on the same page. Its not fair to her to take up her time when you know you are not looking to the future right now, and that's all she wants. You are giving her the freedom to find someone who will share her vision of the future, and she is giving you the freedom to concentrate on the present. Seems like a very caring thing to do.
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I have been going out with a guy for seven months and during part of that time he was going through a divorce.I have been very supportive as listener and a help meet. I helped to do school runs cooking and cleaning everything a girlfriend would do.During November he said that he joined a christain dating site and I was ok with it not much of it thinking.On Christmas day I heard via friends that he was going out with a another divocee with two kids, I was devasted. His divorce just came through in December.Now I am hopelessly in love with him and don't know what to do.He has been going out with this woman since Dec 2010. He also know how I feel about him. I can't understand what went wrong, yet I strongly believe I am perfect,being single, good career and he know if he wants me to leave work and take care of his kids, I will do so.He did say to my friend that he needs to explore and date other woman but I don't want to be his trump card, meaning if everything else fails he will run back to me! Pleae advice. (link)
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As awful as it sounds, I think you were the "rebound" girlfriend. It sucks, I know. We've all been there at some point. You need to find a way to move on from this. Obviously, he already has.
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So i have lost alot of weight ,and suddenly my legs and hands are getting stretch marks and on my hiips.
I use CoCoa butter with a special cream (whitfield's cream)And the stretch marks on my hips are fading but not on my legs and hands and it makes me feel reallly uncomfortable.
I never had stretch marks on my hand or legs until i started losing weight :\
Also on my thighs :(
UGH
is there anyway to get rid of these or is it because my legs have to be shaped up because i lost weight,Is there a home remedy/Way to do that?:( (link)
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I heard Tyra Banks say a self-tanner or tanning helps to even out the discoloration from the stretch marks. Of course it doesn't make them go away, but it makes them less noticeable.
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My brother has met the love of his life, and they are talking about getting engaged- our families have already met, and he has talked to her parents about it. They are going to officially get engaged, i'm thinking within the next 2-3 months.
A couple months ago, our families met. I am very much attracted to her brother, who is going to be my future brother in-law. This is such an awkward/difficult situation for me to be in. I found myself attracted to him physically, personality-wise, etc., and it seemed like the attraction was possibly mutual, but then again, he's a really nice guy, and it could have meant nothing. Either way, I feel like there's nothing I can do about this.
We are both facebook friends, and i messaged him a couple times a couple months ago, to be nice and see if he would initiate anything (wishful thinking, on my part). But I haven't kept in touch with him since...I just keep on thinking about how I feel so attracted to him, and how he is going to be my brother in law before I know it. I don't know what to do about this...my brother knows how I feel about him, but we have not talked about it since I told him (a couple months back). I feel like I want to just get over this, since it is a very difficult situation to be in, but at the same time, I cannot help how I feel about him. Any thoughts on what I can or should do about this? (link)
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Brother-in-law is not the same thing as a brother, half-brother, or even a stepbrother. I know plenty of people who have married their "in-laws"... this guy isn't related to you in any way. He will be you sisters BIL, not yours. So don't think about that. Its not an issue.
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I am a 33 year old woman who is confused, I have four older siblings who were sexually abused by our grandfather, the closest sibling is six years older than me and when I was six my grandfather died of bowel cancer, he did not have a very prolonged illness maybe 2 years. I am worried that I may have been abused by him as well because of the following:-
1. I distrust men, including family members.
2. I find incest storylines erotic.
3. I have extreme problems with intimacy - hence why I am a 33 year old virgin.
4. I have suffered depression and suicidal attempts from the age of about 7 and as far as I know I had no reason to be unhappy, I was well loved, well fed and housed.
Because I would have been under 4 years old I may not remember it and I am very afraid to ask my mum as she has had several boughts of cancer and already feels she let me down when I was growing up by working so hard. If I know if there is or isn't something wrong I can deal with it, its the not knowing that is the problem.
Thanks for your help in advance. :) (link)
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Well something definitely happened to you, whether its abuse or something else in your childhood that you just haven't revealed here. I would say it is worth a trip to a therapist or counselor, if for nothing else than your own piece of mind. Its an expense, but look at it as an investment in your mental health and safety.
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ok so like a month ago i hung out with this guy from my work and wehit it off. and he was super cool and fun and we had a good time but he made it clear he didnt want a girlfriend bc he was sooo busy and blahblhblah
i did sleep with him a few times and i regret it....but i did it out of my own stupidity over gettin over a breakup and thinkin he really wanted more than friendship out of me...
now apparently hes had a girl for a week.he brought her to the party i was at last night...
AND she seems totally bland and everyone keeps saying how prettier i am hahaha
anyways why are guys so stupid and why did he do this i dont understand (link)
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You slept with him. He got what he wanted. He's moving on. Take it as a lesson learned and forget about the guy and his new girl. Trust me, if she slept with him she'll find out what you already know soon enough. Guys like this have no reason to get to know you when you give it away first thing. It says you're easy. And every guy might want to have sex with an "easy" girl, but no guy wants an "easy" girl for his girlfriend. Fact of life.
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So im 14 weeks pregnant and not sure of what im having yet. Im very worried, there is a disease in my family that is only shown in boys, I was wondering if i would carry this? Its called hirschsprung's disease not many people have heard of it, but the question is its on my dads side of the family My dad has 2 brothers, my one uncles 7 year old boy has it, and my uncles daughter's newborn son now has this disease. Would i have the same cells as my cousin? I dont really understand anything about cells and how the work but i need to know my chances of having this disease for my unborn child.
Also is it wrong to bring a sick baby into this world? The last thing i want to do is get an abortion but is that the best thing to do if my child will suffer from this disease.
Advice would be great thanks :( (link)
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Its natural to worry, but the truth is, you don't know anything yet. Even if there is a risk, I promise, the moment you hold your beautiful baby in your arms you will be grateful that you chose to giver him/her a chance at life. All your worries will melt away. You take life's challenges as they come. Don't worry away tomorrow. Make today the best it can be. And if you are truly worried about it, talk to your family members who re dealing with it. Confide your fears and ask their opinions. You may be surprised at what you hear.
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Hello. So I have friends w/ this girl for 10+ years now and we've been through thick and thin. Something happened last month that I can't seem to forget and move on. Basically we had a fight and after requesting we have a break for a week to calm down, we met and decided to put it behind us. She has, but I can't. The trust is gone and everytime I look at her or even think of her, I'm filled with dread and distrust (almost to the point of "hate" though it's a bit extreme). I have always stood by her even though my family has advised me to ditch her. Before, I leaned on her for friendship because I was so insecure but now I have a new lease on life and finding my voice and self confidence. The fact that our life paths are going in totally different directions and the fact that I can't trust her is making me think twice of continuing our relationship. Should I dissolve this "friendship"? She has noticed that I've been distant on her which I know is cowardly but she gets really defensive when confronted. What should I do? Can someone that's dominant (her) understand? Help please. (link)
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Its not a friendship if you don't enjoy being with the other person. You obviously realize you don't want to be friends anymore. So follow your instincts on that. However, you don't need to confront her. Simply back off. Don't call her to make plans. When she does call to make plans, tell her you're busy or you've made plans to hang out with someone else. You can be friendly and polite. It doesn't need to be a mean thing. You are simply moving forward. When she calls to chat, make small talk for a few minutes and then make up an excuse to get off the phone. After a while she'll get the hint and she'll either back off or confront you. Either way you win. If she backs off, great! Mission accomplished. If she confronts you, well that's your chance to explain yourself and let her know she hasn't been a good friend to you and you are really over being used. Don't linger though. With dominating people like that you have to make your point and exit the conversation. You can't give her room to wiggle back into your life by opening it up to conversation. Say your piece and say goodbye, if it comes to that. Eventually she'll find some other insecure person to boss around. Those people always do. Congratulations on your new found confidence! That's just what you need to attract good people who will be positive influences in your life. Weakness attracts users and losers.
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Almost 15/F Guy is 20/M...
I've been talking to a guy online and he's from a different country. I like meeting new people, but at first he came off really strong.
He would call me, and text me, and comment on my pictures on facebook, which really was uncomfortable.
I texted him back and told him that he was being stalker-ish, at that time, he backed off and we became sorta "civil".
I have trust issues with guys, A LOT of trust issues, and I can't find myself to trust this guy much, but I am still talking to him.
He acts like he's met be before, and it's not freaky, I'm only curious. He asked me if he could call me sweetie, and I didn't really care, so I told him sure. Sometimes he asks me if I missed him when we don't talk and we'll have in depth conversations, which is nice because my guy best friend doesn't know half the stuff about me that this guy is guessing about.
It is nice to have someone to talk to that really gets me.
Anyways, how should I tell him to "back off" nicely? I don't want him to say sorry, I just want him to know that.....I don't know how to explain it. Maybe that: I don't understand why he is getting so close to me and saying things to me like that. (link)
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Don't ask this guy to back off. YOU back off. You allowed him too much access to you in the first place, and now you realize you've found yourself a stalker. The good news is that its just as easy to distance yourself from him. Just cut him off. Don't answer texts (PLEASE, please please don't EVER EVER give a stranger your actual phone number, especially over the internet), don't email him. Delete his emails right away. Don't even read them. De-friend him from FB. Do it now before this thing becomes something you really can't handle. This guy has all the classic signs of an online predator, a pedophile. Don't believe me? Google what some of the traits of an online predator are and ask yourself if they fit him. Cut this guy off now and take it as a lesson learned. Talk to people you know, or else keep your "online" friends for FB only. You could get yourself inot real trouble.
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how do you know if a guy really loves you, or if he is just using you for sex? (link)
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If you are not bf/gf but still having sex, he's using you.
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I am married in my mid-20s and have been with this person for 6 years. I love them with every breath i take. However in the past year, this person started an emotional relationship with someone else and almost left me. a couple months later he became obessed with a web cam girl and was making plans to meet her. and in november he posted a add for sex on craigslist. I thought i was over all that crap but a month ago i kissed a friend. I realized that i was no inlove with my husband anymore. Our sexaul relationship is gone. it is like living with my best friend. to make thigns worse, this person i kissed i really developed intense feelings for. I took action on these feelings and now im very confused. i am afraid i have fallen for him. I dont know what to do. I told my husband i made out with this person, but i didnt say anything about my feelings. I feel like i want to run away. I dont want to be tied to anyone, even this other man. Id like to keep them both in my life but not in a relationship. i want to be able to figure out my self. I am a good person and i have never cheated on anyone before. This whole thing has confused me soo much. my friends yell at me and tell me to stop talk to this other man, but i cant. My feelings run deep with him. I am not sure what to do and i feel so depressed and guilty (link)
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You need to get to a marriage counselor right away. If your husband won't go, go alone. Yes, it costs money, but it is an investment. Your "cheating" is not necessarily because you are in love with someone else. You have a void in your marriage and you are looking to fill that void. I'm not saying that this marriage can be saved, but I do know that you have to try. I've personally known couples who have been through horrible times - cheating, fights, etc. They've HATED each other and wondered why they married in the first place. I've seen those same people work and fight for their marriage before giving up on it... and they were able to repair their relationship and even become stronger and more in love than they were before. My point is, love doesn't always feel like love. When you marry, you make a commitment to stick it out with the other person, even when you don't feel all lovey dovey and head over heals. There are times in every marriage where you feel dry and used up and wonder if you even love this person. Commitment means getting help through those times. Its too soon to walk away from your commitment. You may miss out on some of the most amazing times of your life by quitting too early. So go get help. Find the money or borrow it, do whatever it takes, but find a counselor and start working out what is going on inside you. Ask your husband to come with you, to honor the commitment you made to each other. Hopefully he will see that you both need help, and he will honor you as a friend and a wife to go seek help. But if he chooses not to, go alone. You at least need to get more clarification on where your life is headed and what you want out of your future with your husband. You need help to do that.
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I went into walgreens with my friend and we were just looking around and I saw a lot of cool things i'd like to try out. like new make up and new hair products and hair tools. I look at the prices and they are like 7 dollars each, which seems cheap. but one time i got a bunch of things and it came down to 70 dollars!!! I'm not that wealthy. The most I can afford on beauty products is probably 20 dollars.
Any advice on how i can try new products and such without emptying my pockets too much?? Or at least ideas on how to get more money? (link)
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Ideas on how to get more money? How about getting it the way everybody gets money. Get a job. Or learn how to do without.
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I'm not sure if I should ask my pastor about my concerns regarding inner healing in the church, or if it would hurt him. I feel that this type of pop psychology should be left out of the church. Should I go to him about it or leave it alone? (link)
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If you have questions, yes, you should ask. Doubts and questions are a part of the faith experience. They help us grow and it is the pastor's job to guide us in that growth. Don't be accusatory about it, but tell him you are having trouble with the whole concept of inner healing and you feel like it is pop psychology. Ask him to explain why he feels it is good for your church. If he is a good pastor, he will hear you out and answer you without judgment or ridicule. And who knows, he may say some things you haven't thought of before. If he won't discuss it at all with you, or if (after your discussion) you still feel its to weird for you, then maybe you need to think about finding another church home. And don't feel guilty about that. We have many different churches and denominations because we all hear God in different ways, and each church has something special to offer. Your special place may be with a different congregation. Remember, the Bible says that if the word is true, it will agree in your spirit. You'll know if things aren't right. You just will. But give the pastor a chance to explain first. You never know what will happen.
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this is kinda weird but my boyfriend gave me this perfume (bvlgari jasmin noir) for my birthday and i was just being myself and went to check how much it costed online it's a 5ml and it said it's a tester which probably meant it was free, should i be upset about this? (link)
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Maybe he just didn't have the money for something expensive. Is it the price of the gift that is important to you? Or did he lie and say he paid a lot of money for it? If he lied, yeah, that's not cool. But it does seem kind of petty to be upset over the price (or lack, thereof) of a gift. I can't count how many posts I've read on this site from girls who are upset because their bf didn't bother to get anything for their b-day/anniversary/graduation, etc. If it bothers you so much (again, I'm assuming he hasn't lied to you about the cost)then ask him about it, but don't be surprised if hurts his feelings or makes him think of you a little differently. In this economy, I think its a bit shallow to be judging any thoughtful gift by its cost. At least he cares.
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i try to give him space because we broke up but he doesnt want it he gets alll mad if we dont talk for an hour (link)
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So? He gets mad. So what?
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i am a freshmen in high school and i am 16 i have been in a long distance relationship for 4 months and he broke up with me because he said he does not know what to do anymore so what should i do should i give him space or what???? (link)
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It hurts, I know, but yes, give him space. Give yourself some time to feel bad, then start getting back out there, spending time with friends and doing things you like. It will help you heal.
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Hi,i have taken 50pills of the yellow and the white piritons in colour bt i ave not experienced any side effects.am i safe? (link)
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no. call 911 or emergency services now. Or a friend. now.
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My Ex boyfriend broke up with me when we were very much in love. Other people pretty much got involved in our relationship WAY TOO much, and I know we shouldn't of let them but I was the main one for letting it get in the way.
Any way he tried and tried to make me stay friends with him and he said he thinks it's "So stupid" that I won't stay friends with him, I explained that this is to help me move on. So he tells my friend "Why won't Nicole just speak to me?" Why is he that bothered about it?
Also he saw me and a guy hanging out at college and I spoke to him later that day and he said "you might start dating that guy y'know and then you might break up and then we might get back together" Is he saying this to have control over me? (link)
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Can he have control over you? What kind of person are you that you would even let that happen? Talk to him or don't. Be friends with him or don't, but be an adult about it and make the decision for yourself, then stick by it. If you have the guts, tell him to buzz off and mind his own business. He broke up with YOU, remember?
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OK so i like this guy and weave been friends for a while now. so i told my friend rich who also happens to be Matt's friend. rich tells Matt that i like him, Matt talks 2 me and says if i like him he doesn't mind,so we are still friends.then my friend Lora who is also Matt's friend asks him if he likes me and he told her yes then i talked to him about it on face book, and he told me that what she said was correct. so now rich is telling me that Matt doesn't like me and Lora's telling me that she thinks he does, and all of our other friends says that he likes me, but Matt is just making git really confusing....i really just don't know what to do at this point....just in case this might help i am 14 year old girl and Matt is 16 (link)
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You're going to have to go straight to the source. Gather up all your courage and tell Matt what your other friends have been saying and ask him what the truth is. Do it face to face. Its too easy to miscommunicate over text or FB. Good luck!
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If a guy cums in your ass and it gets on your panties && you're scared you might get pregnant does birth control work AFTER you have sex??? I need to know because I took it. :o and I'm only 15 years old so I am not ready to deal with any consequences or complications!! (link)
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"I'm only 15 years old so I am not ready to deal with any consequences or complications!! "
Then you're not ready for sex.
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