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My Ex wants to stay friends!!
My Ex boyfriend broke up with me when we were very much in love. Other people pretty much got involved in our relationship WAY TOO much, and I know we shouldn't of let them but I was the main one for letting it get in the way.
Any way he tried and tried to make me stay friends with him and he said he thinks it's "So stupid" that I won't stay friends with him, I explained that this is to help me move on. So he tells my friend "Why won't Nicole just speak to me?" Why is he that bothered about it?
Also he saw me and a guy hanging out at college and I spoke to him later that day and he said "you might start dating that guy y'know and then you might break up and then we might get back together" Is he saying this to have control over me?
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Many people, although in my experience it's especially true of men, want to 'stay friends' to prove to themselves that things are okay, to somehow earn forgiveness for the dumping, and to pretend that they can keep the same sort of closeness and support they had before, even though they broke up.
And yes, some people want to ‘stay friends’ to keep that door open, and imagine that they can just get you back whenever they like.
Your ex is probably not deliberately trying to control you - but he is trying to keep your attention.
He’s uncomfortable with you having a life, connection and emotions that he doesn’t know about. That’s not okay, but it’s not evil either. It’s tough to go from knowing tons about a person, and talking to them every day, to knowing very little about them, but that is what breaking up means.
You can tell him off at this point. You’ve been clear that you don’t want to be friends and his failure to respect that is beginning verge on bullying you. That isn’t cool. His comments about ‘maybe…someday… sorta… you never know… we could.’ are also totally not cool and are rather nasty.
He probably doesn’t mean to be evil, but he is not being nice, and you should feel free to tell him to stop.
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Can he have control over you? What kind of person are you that you would even let that happen? Talk to him or don't. Be friends with him or don't, but be an adult about it and make the decision for yourself, then stick by it. If you have the guts, tell him to buzz off and mind his own business. He broke up with YOU, remember?
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