I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 172847
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i have a few penis problems. sometimes my penis can be like less than an inch long! my foreskin will be wrinkly. my foreskin is attatched to my penis, and i cant pull it down. i only realised you have to pull it down last year. back to the size, when its erected it can be just over 3 inches! its so small, and has too many problems. also my skin is quite dark, not black but brown. at the base of my penis i have white dots. little white dots of discoloured skin. its crazy! whats wrong with my penis? any help will do. thanks a lot :) (link)
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It is normal for the foreskin to be wrinkly if you are not erect. This is because when you ARE erect, the skin stretches out more to accomodate the longer penis. When you are soft, the foreskin will act like a hood over your penis, allowing you to only see the tip. When you are erect, your penis will look identical to a penis that has not been circumcised.
Penis size is something you have no control over. You haven't given your age, but if you are young you've still got growing to do. Penis growth doesn't properly begin until between the ages of 10 and 14 (although everyone is different). Your penis will continue to grow as you do - it will not reach adult size until a year or two after you have reached your full height.
I'm not sure what the white dots are, but if they are causing you concern you could ask your doctor about them at your next physical. I know it might seem strange or embarassing to speak to someone about it, but it's their job to answer medical questions!
I wish you the best.
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What does it mean when a guy is circumsized (sp.?)
What's the difference between a guy being circumsized and not being circumsized.
thanks ! (link)
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When a baby boy is born, there is a lot of baggy skin around his penis. If he is circumcized, some of the skin (that would cover the tip of his penis) is pulled forward and cut off. This can be done for religious or medical reasons.
In an adult male who is not circumcized, when his penis is soft it just looks a bit more baggy. This extra skin acts as a hood over the tip of his penis.
When an uncircumcized male's penis is erect, it looks just like an uncircumsized penis.
Circumcision is quite controversial, and many people speak about the differences between being circumcised or not. There may be implications for sexual functioning, but essentially a penis is a penis is a penis. It is very, very rare for someone to get a circumcision once they have reached adulthood - parents make the decision for their babies, which is part of the controversy.
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what are the signs girls get before there period? like befoe they start for the first time :D (link)
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Getting your period is part of your body maturing. Things that you you could notice before your first period (and we're talking up to months or YEARS before) are pubic hair, armpit hair, your breasts getting larger, and mood swings.
As the time for your first period gets closer, you may notice discharge in your underwear. This can range from clear to white - this is perfectly natural and healthy. There's nothing to worry about with this, unless it's accompanied by any discomfort or itching in your vagina.
In the days before your first period, you may notice slight cramps in your lower tummy or lower back. You may also be feeling irritable or sad. Your breasts may feel tender.
Every woman's body is different - some women barely notice when they get their periods, while others feel a lot of discomfort. If you are thinking you might be getting your period soon, you can carry around a pad with you - and make sure you understand how to use it!
Best of luck.
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okay , so im fourteen . and i want to start using a tampon , because well pad's are nasty . and well , i tryed a small tampon and i put it in halfway before i took it out and when i took it out it hurt . my hymen isnt broken yet , thats why . idk what to do . because i wanna use one , but like ahhhh it hurts :/ and feels funny .
help ? (link)
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Normally, tampons have absorbed a lot of blood before you remove them. This makes them easier to remove and shouldn't cause any pain. Taking out a fresh tampon will be uncofortable because it will not simply slide out.
There are tampons made especially for teens or women who have not used them before. These are often branded as 'mini tampons' or something similar. These are great the first few times, until you get the hang of them.
It's helpful for you to figure out where you'll be inserting a tampon BEFORE you try to insert it - fingers are a wonderful help here. You can also see what angle the tampon will need to go in at. Generally, you'll be pointing the tampon towards your lower back - this sometimes comes to a surprise to people because they expect their vagina to be straight up-and-down.
Read the instructions that come with your tampons for information about how often to change them, etc. There are also usually pictures showing how to insert the tampon - you can also find these online.
The important thing to remember is that if it is inserted all the way, you should not feel the tampon at all. If you DO, you will need to use your fingers to push it further in.
Best of luck.
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can my wife get preg if i cum inside her on her period. (link)
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Sperm can live in the body for up to seven days. If you have sex near the end of her period, this potentially means that your sperm could still be alive and kicking when she enters her most fertile phase.
Unless your wife has been charting her cycle and can pinpoint her fertile points, you could theoretically get her pregnant at any stage of the month. Women's cycles really vary.
When in doubt, protect her from pregnancy.
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i found a condom in my sisters bedroom what do i do (link)
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Put it back where you found it, and stop poking around her room?
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Hey.
Well my boyfriend and me are quite close.
And i know he likes me and just doesn't want sex!
He is horny (which is embarassing to say)!
But he's like --wanna root--wanna fuk--lets have sex--
But i don't know if i should and im a virgin ... i need to know if i should have sex or not!
HELP PLEASE!!!! (link)
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The way your boyfriend is wording asking you to have sex with him - 'rooting' and 'fucking' - suggests that perhaps he's not interested in sex as any kind of deep, meaningful, love-filled thing. If you DO want something more meaningful, you might want to think very carefully about whether you want sex with him.
If you are not interested in the more emotional side, but are okay with being more physical, you'll still need to consider how you will protect yourself against STDs and pregnancy. It's best to get protection in place BEFORE you start having sex.
Still, I don't hear a lot from your point of view in this question. Having sex because your partner wants to is not a good reason to lose your virginity.
While you obviously do care about your boyfriend and believe the two of you are close, losing your virginity is something that can only happen once. To make sure you are happy - and will remain happy - with your choice, take as much time as you need to think about the decision and what it might mean to you individually and as a couple.
I wish you the best.
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I'm coming onto the 1 year anniversary of my fiancee's death. She was 27, but after 1 year, I still can't get over her. I had waited almost 30 years for someone like her, and she was the love of my life. I'm a wreck, and I don't know what to do. Is this normal? What can I do? (link)
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I'm sorry for your loss.
Yes, you are normal. Bereavement groups have released information saying that people can be in deep initial mourning for up to two years - beyond that point, if a person hasn't begun to recover, they may need professional help.
I would suggest it would be a great support to you to find a therapist now, however. It gives you a place to speak about your fiancee and how you are feeling about her life and death.
There are a lot of publications out there for people in grief. Some people find it helpful to learn about the cycles/stages of bereavement, and some find it pointless. You've really got to see what works for you, and it can be less confusing when you are dealing with your pain with supportive professional help.
It's okay to be a wreck. You loved someone deeply, and you've lost her. You are where you are in your own healing, and as painful and confusing as it might be, it's where you need to be at this point. I wish you strength and honesty.
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hi, i have a problem.
i know this might sound stupid, but i get stressed pretty easily...
here's what happened:
i'm 15 and i'm a virgin.
one day, i gave my boyfriend hand while he was wearing his underwear, and his pants (it was a bathing suit).
he cummed in his underwear, and went to the bathroom to wipe off. he did wash his hands, and put toilet paper infront of his underwear because he didn't want me worrying about getting pregnant(it already happened before, that i thought i was pregnant, and i was talkign about it for a whole month, until i got my period, and calmed down).
then, we started making out again, and he was rubbing agaisnt me. i was wearing shorts, and underwear, but im afraid that my shorts AND underwear (which were pretty tight), moved.
i'm pretty sure that there wasnt any semen on his pants, since he washed his underwear with water, and put toilet paper incase it leaked.
This happened about 2 days ago, and i was kind of sick. i still am today (its a virus or somehting), and i feel a little bit nasueas sometimes, but that just might be part of the sickness i have.
am i pregnant??? (link)
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If you are repeatedly worrying about getting pregnant after sexual activities, I would invite you to think about whether you feel really confident and ready to be engaging in these activities. If you decide you ARE ready, then I think it's important you take some time to think about what precautions could be taken to make you feel safer.
This could include NOT rubbing up against your boyfriend if it makes you this anxious afterwards. While it's true there is a chance of pregnancy if semen enters the vagina, it's also probably true that it is hugely unlikely any got near your vagina on this occasion. In future, since you wisely worry about your actions and the possible consequences, you may choose to not participate in this activity - or to ask your boyfriend to wear a condom.
Even in the incredibly unlikely circumstances that you are pregnant, you would not be experienging ANY symptoms at this point. Techinically, the egg would not have even implanted yet.
So take a deep breath. All this stress isn't good for you, or your relationship. Figure out what will make you feel safer, and discuss it with your boyfriend. I wish you all the best.
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Sometimes, I predict things without knowing I predict them. For example, when i was walking into my tv room I was thinking about the movie karate kid and I did a karate kid kick (i'm strange) then when I got to the tv room a band was talking about the movie Karate Kid. I didnt even hear the tv before I got in. Or maybe i'm thinking "i like the name luke for a boy" and a mom nearby with her kids has a kid named luke and says "luke". This happens alot! Is it just a really big coincidence or might I be physcic or something? (link)
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The thing is, everyone does this - the small little 'predictions'. Everyone has all sorts of thoughts racing through their mind all the time, and they tend to only notice these thoughts when they actually match up with the real world.
So while you may have noticed three psychic/coincidence things in the past week (for example), you may have NOT noticed three hundred little thoughts that led nowhere.
Of course, people DO pick things up unconsciously in communication with other people. Research into right brain activity has proven this.
End of the day? Coincidence, psychic ability - either way, it's pretty cool.
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Okay well im a 14/f and i have a friend- ex friend now- but she texted me and was like i tolled everyone your secret! - and my secret is that im a lezbian- and she is the only one i tolled and i thought she was just kidding but she wasn't she tolled like veryone i know and so now everyone is like Oh god you are a lez sick your perverted , do you have a girlfriend , you should die lezbians and gay people shouldn't be aloud on earth ext.... but its starting to get to me and i dont know what to do can you help me??
love,
Stressed out! (link)
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Of course it's getting to you. You had a friend that you considered trustworthy, and she totally abused your trust. And now people at school are using it against you.
Unfortunately, there is probably very little you can do to make others stop reacting like this - and depending on your school, they may not help, either.
People can be cruel, and tend to focus on differences in other people. This is especially true when it's a difference they feel uncomfortable with. They may feel confused about their own sexuality, making assumptions based on religious thinking or their parents, etc. None of this is your fault.
The one thing you DO have control over in this situation is how you react. Think carefully about what feels best for you.
It may sound trite, but there will be a time when you are not surrounded by small minded, fearful, and bullying people. University is typically a time when people open their minds a bit, and university (depending where you go, of course!) is so much larger than high school you can CHOOSE to be surrounded by people you enjoy.
It's hard enough feeling comfortable and confident with your sexuality without other people judging you, but in ten years time you won't know these people anymore. For right now, you are perfect and wonderful as you are - and no matter how hurtful the comments of others can be, you still have YOU.
I wish you the best.
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14/male
Im not sure why, but I am in this odd time where I feel like i dont care about anything. My great grandmother may be dying soon, and I may be close to losing my girlfriend, but the weird thing is, I have not been stressed. Normally I would be. I love them so much, I should be stressing but im not. This has been going on since school let out, when my best friends were fighting. Is this some awkward teen stage or something, or a result of stress? (link)
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You may be used to stress showing itself in other ways - problems sleeping, concentrating, short temper, etc. However, it is a strong reaction to go from a person who cares about things to someone who suddenly does not.
You have a couple of losses that could be coming up - the death of someone you love, and the possibility of losing your girlfriend. A coping mechanism for some people, perhaps yourself included, is to 'stop caring.' This doesn't mean that you don't logically still love people and care about life, but that emotionally you may be close to being overloaded.
Basically, it's a way to protect yourself.
I don't think it's something that will last forever. I would encourage you to find some way of getting these difficult emotions out. As school has ended, and your best friends are fighting - do you have other friends you could spend some time with? People you can talk to? Activities that can get your body moving and your mind focused?
It's okay that you feel you don't care. It's a normal reaction to a stressful situation. You're still a caring guy who loves these two women, even if you temporarily feel differently.
I wish you the best.
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i sent the question about the thick jelly stuff. I know what discharge is and im pretty sure this isnt it. it is a clump like a circular sort of shape of jelly stuff its not like a thin coat or anything. its a big clump (link)
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This can be a sort of discharge, or cervical mucus. Your discharge/mucus changes at different point of your period cycle. Different sorts of discharge have different jobs, and stretchy eggwhite type discharge (which can come out in big clumps) can be an indication that you are in a fertile span of days.
However, unless you really are an expert on this stuff, it's not a safe way to plan when you are 'safe' for unprotected sex (if you are straight).
This jelly is nothing to worry about, though I would encourage you to see a doctor if it changes dramatically in amount, colour, or smell. Or even just to put your mind at rest.
I wish you the best.
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hey im a 14 year old girl, and im currently on my period and i was just wondering... can you masterbate whilst on your period. because i dunno why at the moment but i just really turned on.
pleeeaaase help!
thanks xx (link)
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It's very common for women to feel extra turned on during their periods. It's very safe to masturbate while on your period, though you may want to make sure you are protecting your sheets (or other furnishings!).
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hey im 14 (girl) and for quite a long time now, i've got really horny over lesbain porn. i mean straight porn is ok but not as good. so i was wondering am i still straight or am i bi/lesbian
help!
thanks. (link)
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People's porn preferences don't always match up with their sexual orientation. Sometimes porn is about exploring new, exciting things.
Of course, it can also be a way to express your sexuality.
There's no way any person other than yourself can tell you if you are gay, bi, or straight. Take some time to really reflect on how you feel. Remember that you don't need to have had any sexual experience to be a certain sexuality. It can take awhile to sort out your thoughts and feelings, so be gentle on yourself.
And know that whatever your sexuality, you're still you. And that's pretty fabulous.
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me and my boyfriend have been doing well although lately when he got me pregnant and asked me to abort it which was against my will caused a storm he nolonger calls me after telling him am keeping it with or without his will,he has abandoned me completely please reply am 23 finished school,am from uganda (link)
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I am not sure what you are asking for.
I understand that you are choosing to keep your baby, and your boyfriend has left you. If he was that strongly for abortion, and has now left you, there's a very good change you will be raising this child in a single-parent home.
There's no denying this is difficult, but with the support of friends and family it's doable.
I can't advise you how to get your boyfriend back, but I do acknowledge how difficult a situation you are in. Make sure you make time to pamper yourself - after all, you have just ended a relationship. Still, you have a new relationship to look forward to....you and your baby.
Make sure you are receiving good medical care.
I wish you the best.
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hi! i'm 25.i want to masturbate(externally-using fingers)even during my period days.is that safe?! does that decrease or increase or irregularise my period..i'm really very much confused & need advice..pls answer me. (link)
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Masturbating will not have any effect on your period. As long as your hands are clean, you're all good to go.
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I have this thick jelly stuff in my underwear what is it? Its thick and clearish white and jellyish... do you know wat it is?
15/f (link)
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Yep. It's discharge or cervical mucus.
This serves a number of purposes, including keeping your vagina clean AND making your body able to nourish sperm (handy for when you're trying for a baby).
It's normal and natural, and most women have it - in varying amounts. You may notice that your discharge changes throughout the month. This has to do with your body's natural fertility rhythms and is nothing to worry about.
Discharge only signals a problem if it has a strong smell, or is an unusual colour.
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can you buy a air plane ticket half price and pay the other half later?
i want to go to egypt and it'll cost $1,100 San Fran to Egypt.
i have the 1,000 but i dont want to whipe out all my money.
what should i do?
second job is out of the question. it's hard to look for a job anyways. i have one but it pays mid wage. (link)
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No, you have to pay for an airline ticket in full when you purchase it.
If you want to spread the payments rather than paying everything at the same time, you can put the ticket onto a credit card and choose the amount to repay each month. Be aware that credit cards charge interest, and you actually end up paying more in the long run than if you'd just paid for it in the first place.
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23 Female
I've been recieving incapacity benefit for about 5 years now, my last medical was in 2005 and the doctor recomended that i be put on long term incapacity benefit, which i am now on.
I've been worrying about my next medical as its always a stressful time but i'm not sure when that will be. Could someone who actually knows and isn't just guessing be able to tell me how often you are reviewed when you recieve long term incapacity benefit.
I thought it was 2 years but so far i've heard nothing, so hopeful someone here will either be on it or be able to ask someone who is.
Thank you xxx (link)
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Benefits are tricky, but the definition of long-term incapacity benefit is when you have been in receipt of incapacity benefit for over a year.
I assume you have already undergone personal capability assessments, as well as medical tests/certificates covering your initial period of this benefit. This should have happened when your illness extended beyond six months - essentially, it's a very detailed form asking for info about your health and the impact it is having on your life.
At this point, a doctor would also recommend whether to extend your benefit.
Depending on what your specific circumstances are, you may not be required to undergo additional testing. However, you will be required to inform the benefits agency if your situation changes.
I appreciate this is causing you stress, and would suggest you speak to a qualified adviser at your local JobCentre Plus, on the benefits helpline, or at your local Citizens Advice Bureau. Benefits can be stressful enough without having additional worry added on top of them!
The Department of Work and Pensions website can give you very detailed info about incapacity benefit, including info about tariff changes based on your situation, your pension, etc.
Best to sort out any questions you have now - while you have the luxury of time on your side - then suddenly be faced with unexpected medical tests or changes to your benefits.
I wish you the best.
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