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May 8, 2004Answers:
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Facts About Me :)>> Born and raised in Brooklyn, NY but now residing in Pennsylvania
>> 22 years of age and in college. Graduated with an Associate's Degree in Medical Administration, now working with a laboratory as a jack of all trades customer service rep, hoping to pursue a higher degree in the healthcare field.
>> Taken since 11.25.07
>> Have been on this site since I was in 7th grade. You do the math lol
>> Very open minded so don't be afraid to contact me for advice
>> Feel free to look around :)
advice
I was using my boyfriend's computer while he was at work because my laptop wasn't working. I found when I was typing in a url, these urls to this girl's photo album came up. They weren't perverted pictures but I'm still a bit suspscious because I know he doesn't know her. I easily get jealous and he knows I'm very insecure. It's just what bothers me the most is he says his eyes don't wander. But I know they do, I can see it in his face. When I ask him or something, he'll blush. I wish he'd just tell me the truth. Should I mention it to him? If yes, how would I? It's been several days. Should I just pretend I didn't see it? Does that mean it's okay for my eyes to wander as well?
Hey :]
Well to be honest with you, there isn't one guy on this earth whose eyes will not wander off to another girl, even if just a glance... But sometimes, wandering eyes don't mean a cheating heart. I understand insecurities, but if you say he doesn't know this girl personally, then there is nothing to be afraid of. Sure, your eyes can wander too, but don't overdo it, because then that's just coming back with a vengeance. If your eyes don't wander off now, there is no reason to do it now just because. He lies because he probably doesn't mean any harm to you, maybe because he really does love you and no matter how many pretty girls on this earth, you're pretty to him in your own unique and special way. :] As far as talking to him about, I would say yes, please do! Just tell him that you used his laptop because yours wasn't working, and as you typed something in address bar, you found something that caught your eye, and that when you found out what it was, it bothered you. He should be considerate of your feelings, and at least try and tone it down. Guys are very visual.. But if you guys are in a serious relationship, try and keep him entertained. It MUST be mutual though. I don't know how long you guys have been together, but if it's pretty long like a year then he must really love you. But yes, tell him how you feel! Also, if he doesn't tone it down, and doesn't try and make you the girl which he looks at constantly, then obviously he is inconsiderate... When you love someone, you'll do anything.. You'll kill yourself to stop or start whatever it is they want lol. So if this relationship hasn't been such a long one, and he doesn't treat you and your emotions with respect, it's time to find a guy who will ;] Good luck honey
-Uniq =]
ok well this is embarassing and actually bothering me for a very long time....to start with i am a 27 year old female, before i got married i was a virgin...and guess what...i got married in august of 08...and still am a virgin! well as much as it sounds crazy and funny...this is driving my husband and my relationship downfall...i am basically scared to have sex...we have attempted several times...but everytime the poor man tries to put it in...i back off thinking its going to hurt...its been eight months now...and my husband's just a very understanding patient man...or else i feel if it were anyone else he would have cheated on his wife by now...my mom, my sister my close friends that i have shared it with...all have yelled at me about it...i am starting to hate the fact that i cant get this fear out of me...i mean come on i thought sex was suppose to be fun...and i also know it keeps a married relationship good...but thats missing in my married life..and i have to do something about it...please help!
Hi :]
I agree with all my fellow advicenators.. It will hurt.. The first couple of times, it might not feel the best... but practice makes perfect, hence, with time it feels better. Behind this fear.. something must be triggering it.. I would recommend looking back at life to see what might be causing this fear. has anyone ever tried to do something sexual without your consent when you were younger? If and when you do find this hidden trigger, perhaps get a good listener and talk to them... psychologist or counselor can help too.. Something must be causing this fear though, with every fear there is a reason! Now, think about this too... Is there any foreplay involved when you guys try to initiate sex? That's one way to relax.. foreplay is a MUST if he wants BOTH of you guys to be relaxed and to enjoy... So if you guys aren't incorporating it in, try and see what happens.. That's the most advice I can give.. foreplay (as much time as possible) and look back to see what may be triggering this fear of sex. Good luck hun, and no worries, its common among us females :]
-Uniq
17,f
I've been with my bf for a month and 8 days.
Hes nice, and very honest, and he treats me well, but sometimes hes weird and I cant figure him out. see if maybe you guys can...
the reason I say hes weird is that every time we talk on the phone, we end up not saying anything after a while, and just being on the phone doing different things without talking. sometimes i forget hes there altogether. and i hate that. but everytime i ask him what hes doing or thinking he always either says nothing or that hes thinking about me. I get the impression that hes not really listening to me and that he is either thinking dirty and doesn't wanna tell me, or hes not listening to me... And at one point, everything I told him hed answer with yes...
are you tired? yes
do you want me to let you go sleep? yes
am i going to see you tomorrow? yes
what do you wanna do? yes
what? yes
can you say anything else but yes? yes
say something else! something else
he was trying to be funny i guess so i said:
okay i think you should sleep, ill call you tomorrow morning.
Him: "not really"
Me: what do you mean?
Him: never mind
Me: what? why are you being so weird
Him: IM being weird?
and basically thats how our conversations are sometimes on the phone, he doesnt make much sense and ends up annoying me to the point where im like okay goodbye. then he gets mad at me???
i dont get it! can someone help me out? if i try to hang up he wont let me and says he wants to talk, but then he doesnt and when i try to he doesnt seem to listen and then when i ask him why he isnt talking he gets mad and shit. wtf???? can someone please explain?
Hi :]
Well... unfortunately that second convo you posted sounds like me, lol but only when something is bothering me... It's possible that he feels the same as you do because you do other things and forget he's there, then you try to get off the phone and maybe THAT's what is bothering him.. But it can also be that he is that type of person who can't talk on the phone with his girl, has to be in person where it's more hands on and random things happen. Sometimes, guys AND girls can talk for hours with their friends, but not their boyfriend. Don't fret hun, i suggest talking to him though... Ask him why he doesn't talk much on the phone... If you ask nicely i doubt he'd take it offensively.. communication literally is the key, so you must tell him your likes.. dislikes... turn on and offs... and vice versa... You guys should just sit down and talk to eachother in person..
Now.. there's a problem if he can't talk in person lol. Good luck!!! Hope I helped.
-Uniq =]
is it possible for two people to be together in the future if they see eachother once a month now?
Hi :]
Of course it's possible!! But TiNA is right, the relationship has to have honesty... trust.. and lots of love... It's hard to be apart from someone you love and only get to see them once a month, but I'm sure that if in the future you two decide to live together, you both will get to see the pros and cons of the relationship and co-habitation. Good luck and hope I helped!!
Uniq :]
so, i had sex for the first time ever last month and i thought the person that i had it with would be with me forever.. but he broke up with me, and now we don't talk. do you think i was a booty call? it hurts cuz it was special to me, ya know? what do i do? i'm so heartbroken, i don't know what to do.
Hi :]
Sigh.. guys like this are what makes women talk so low about them.. these are the 'hit it and quit it' guys.. guys who just smooth talk you.. get into your pants.. then leave... =/ I wish I could help you in mending your feelings... but I honestly can't.. time will heal it hun.. just try and hold on to the dignity you have... and trust me.. more types of guys will come your way... just don't give it up so easily.. try and build a relationship first hun... Good luck!
Uniq :]
i need your guys advice on this..so this is like the millionth time hes "blown me off" he doesn't really blow me off but he has this list of chores his dad makes him do and he knows that if he doesnt do them he can't go out or anything. hes basically lazy and its starting to get to me because he always makes plans with me and then cant last minute because he didnt do his chores..what do you guys think i should do? i texted him telling him i had to talk to him...what should i say? and what do i do? i need advice thankss
16/f 17/m
Hi :]
What I would do is tell him to start being more responsible. Not in a snotty way, but it's the truth... It's unfair that he has plenty time to do his chores.. and he makes plans with you, then waits till last minute and cancels on you.. he should balance his home life responsibilities and his relationship responsibilities... Just kindly ask him to stop leaving things to last minute.. tell him to put himself in your shoes.. and if he STILL doesnt change then maybe he shouldn't be in a relationship where he can't keep his promises, you know? Good luck hun,
Uniq =]
they look like birthmarks.. the little black dots you get when your really little. Like 2 years ago I got the first one and then 2 more appeared. Its like.. they arent there and then the next day when I wake up I see it on my hand. There havent been anymore recently that I know of but its weird.. why did/do these random spots appear?
http://i41.tinypic.com/30djn1z.jpg
^the three on my hands
Hi :]
No worries, i doubt anything is wrong with you. I have the same one you have on your pinky hehe, but they don't look like the ones skin cancer may cause, so i don't think anything is wrong. This might help
http://www.skindisordersatoz.com/birthmarks/index.html
Good luck :]
Uniq
just over a year ago, i was sexually assaulted by a boyfriend when i fell asleep, and wonder to this day if i would have been raped if i hadn't woke up. i think that changed my outlook on things, guys especially, a lot! i hate how these days, people use the verb "raped" so casually. people at school do it all the time, a couple of my friends included, whether it's saying they "raped" someone in a game, or joking around saying "i'll rape you!" and the other person says "ooh i'd love that". whatever it is. you know what i mean, just the way people use it so loosely. i hate it. it gives me a sickening feeling to hear it. i've come close to saying something to people who use it casually at school and stuff, but i cant bring myself to do it. besides the guy who did, only three people know about it, one of which is my mom. one is my cousin, who is my absolute best friend who i trust with all my information, and one is a friend who doesn't personally know the guy that did it. i feel like if i say something to these people, i'll have to explain why i dont like it, or it'll seem really personal, and i dont want to have to explain myself. that's not information that i want to go around sharing. i dont fully trust any of my friends, except my cousin, and that's not something i plan on telling them. but also if i say something, i feel the truth will be written all over my face. but on the other hand, i hate to hear people talk like that, and i feel like if i did say something, people would stop, at least around me. what can i do in this situation? every time i hear those words.. rape, molest, anything.. it brings me back to that day, and i can remember exactly how i felt. should i speak up, or keep my mouth shut?
also, i DONT want to go talk to a therapist or anything like that, so please dont suggest it. i'm not depressed or torn up and this doesn't interfere with my everyday life. i just hate when the subject is brought up.
Hi :)
To be honest, I believe you should speak up. These people who hang out with are your friends, and if they are good friends, they'll do whatever they can to stop making you feel uncomfortable. Of course, they probably will ask "Why?", but that's your choice on whether to tell them or not. If you don't, just simply ask them in a nice manner to stop, that it just makes you feel uneasy, and it pushes you away from interacting with them. I know that if a friend were to say that to me, I'd stop immediately, whether or not they told me the reason. It all depends on whether they are good friends or not, and their maturity level as well. Good luck, and keep your head up!@
Uniq :]
what do i do if my boyfriend brother i use to talk to is trying to break us up telling himm lies and telling me lies please help im 17 and female
Hey =]
Hun, there's not much you can do.. The problem is he's your boyfriend's FAMILY.. so that's one strike against you. You most DEFINITELY should talk to you boyfriend.. be real honest... NO LIES... tell him nothing but the truth.. and if he won't believe you then one day he'll realize he made a mistake... Everything happens for a reason, and I'm sure if you guys break up, love can either bring you guys together or it won't you know? Good luck!
Uniq =]
Hey everyone, im a 15/f. And my boyfriend of 6 months and i broke up. It was terribly hard dating him becuase he was very suicidal, and over dosed alot on pain killers. He broke up with me and said that he wasn't ready for a girlfriend. When in reality he broke up with me for my sister. So, i moved on. I mean dont get me wrong, i loved him and still do, he was an amazing guy. But, i now like this guy that is at my school, and he claims too like me back. He flirts with me alot, but the down side is he has a girlfriend. Anyway and good flirting advice?
Thanks in advance (:
Hi =]
Well not to be a bubble burster lOL but he has a girlfriend.. I don't think it's a good idea to flirt with him.. Put yourself in his girlfriend's position.. Would you like it if he flirted with chicks behind your back? Im happy you've moved on, and are optimistic.. But the gf issue is a BIG no no.. drama isn't needed either lol...think about that hun. Good luck!
Uniq =]
Okay so I've recently turned 17 years old and i haven't had a job before. I did my school work experience (placement) for two weeks at a pet store and that was it. I've been looking for jobs, handing in properly made resumes, applications, visiting stores and asking for any positions but they all keep rejecting me. I know I've made my resumes properly because i used a template from a website and altered it for my preferences and got some family members to take a look just in case. The thing is, now I'm in my final year of school so i can only work casual, and no one ever seems to be employing!
In certain jobs I've applied and re applied over and over for casual jobs because the applications expire over so many months.
I dress well, particularly as i wear a school uniform so I'm always wearing neat, clean and ironed clothes, i speak well and smile a lot but i haven't even gotten an interview!
I live in western Sydney, Australia and even the small stores around where i live want people who have had experience which i don't have.
I need help with finding some work. I want a job for a lot of reasons, one is that my family doesn't have a lot of money so i have to make my own, particularly for things like university which i will soon be going into and have no money towards it. I also want to get out there and explore the 'working world' so that when I'm in uni i will be able to have some experience under my sleeve.
I just don't know what to do. Kids at my school younger than me find work easily and kids my age have already had a job for a few years. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to find work anywhere and i really want to learn to become independent and start saving. Advice?!
Also i've even tried things such as seek and job websites and none seem to help.
Hi =]
Well.. Keep applying! Interviews! But also.. try and network. If you don't know what networking is.. Let's give you an example. You meet me, I work somewhere... Perhaps I can put in a good word for you? Or With any adults you know, ask them!! I too had trouble... I think I still would... But luckily i had a family member who put in a good word for me and I will be working this summer :D look around.. use those friends and family wisely hun! Good luck!!!!
Uniq
what is it mean to "be there for someone"? and how do you be there for someone? is it considered being there for someone if your friend didnt go to you for advice but you came to them and you ask them what's wrong and they tell you whats wrong with them?
Hey =]
Yesh! That is considered being there for someone! Because you were concerned of their well being... Being there for someone is willing to lend out a helping hand when someone needs help... Perhaps listen to them when they need to get things off their chest... Just being that concerned friend. ADvice counts too haha. Hope I helped!
Uniq
what do you do if your parents accuse you of something you didnt do?
Hi =]
It all depends on what they're accusing you OF. I'll give you two examples. One scenario: They are accusing you of having sex, but you are still a virgin. You can simply tell them NO, and since you have no guilty conscience you can take a lie detector test (seems a bit extreme) or go to the GYN if youre a girl ( but they really can't tell how you're hymen got broken)... Or maybe its a small lie, for example: They accused you of stealing $20... Well there's not much you can do, a lie detector test LOL or they gotta take your word.. its just up to you to be telling the truth. In these cases they gotta take your word.. are they accusing you because there's no one else around who could have done the dirty deed or...? Well good luck!
Uniq
Ha. Sorry too ask you so many questions about this but you said you went through this before so I know you will know how to answer my questions. Well I used my friends phone to text him just telling him I miss him and I still love him ( : but he didnt even seem interested all he said
was yeah i love "u" to. Is it because, hes moving on ? Or what ? Its confusing to me. He did say he was going to wait for me but I know there is no way he can do that he would have to wait 3 more years for me and hes 19 so of course hes not going to wait for me. I want him to but I dont want to start sounding annoying to him. Should I just stop talking to him completely ? I already was made to delete him off my myspace and all our pictures and stuff. Its just surprising cause he made it sound like he really was In love with me. And now hes making to sound like I was just another girl and he really doesnt care ? Do you think its just because of the restraning order? Or do you think thats really how he feels ? ( :
Thankkkks. I cant thank you enough ! (:
Hun, it's no problem!! =]
Well, sometimes guys are one worded people.. LOL to be honest, you're very right. He won't wait, I'm sorry to be blunt.. Think of it this way.. Guys are humans... they crave meat.. if you know what I mean.. So if there's no contact between you two, most probably he'll get to know other females whom he CAN talk to... In my opinion, live life to the fullest... meet new guys around your age who are worth your time. Stay safe.. As with me.. I got played... He was 18.. I was 14... We continued the relationship behind my parents back.. and it came out to be all a waste.. risks for nothing... He lied.. he cheated.. he was downright dirty.. and he claimed he loved me ... As I said.. just cherish the real people in your life.. and meet guys who you can connect with intellectually and emotionally =] if you need anything else always feel free to contact me I'm here for a reason Good luck!!
Uniq =]
Hey i'm 15 and i have C cup sized breasts. the only problem is one is relatively the perfect perkiness but the other sags......and i'm really worried that when my boyfriend sees he'll be grossed out by the unevenness....is there like anything i can do?
Hi =]
Gravity or reality. Lol enough said. Not everyone's breasts are perky.. Especially if they are larger in size. If you two are in a serious relationship, then I doubt he'll be grossed out. To be honest.. a guy would be too hyped up on the fact that he's even getting access to them.. He may notice.. but if he's not inconsiderate he won't point it out. If you guys have an open relationship he may joke around. Anything is possible. But I doubt he'll be grossed out. Good luck
Uniq =]
Hey does the restraining order also make it so you cant talk to them on myspace or call them. or is it just for in person contact ?
Thankks ( :
Hi there =]
Thanks for the question. Usually, a restraining order has rules put by request of the person placing the restraining order. Usually, the judge may ask or tell you the restraining order forbids the other person from ANY contact with you. Phone or physical contact. If you guys talk through myspace.. be careful. If your mom finds out or they can somehow see that you guys did exchange messages, he basically violated the restraining order which has grave consequences. Good luck!
Uniq =]
kindaa long :
Okay so im 15 and my boyfriends 19. i love him to death. and he loves me. ( : we have been dating for a year . and we are crazy about each other.
my parents have been refusing me from talking to him for longer then that around 2 years, and id always out smart them and id talk to him all the time and sneak around on the weekends and stay at his house. now , my friend was worried because i had unprotected sex with him and she knew he had sex with many people before me. i lost my virginity with him. everything just felt right all the time and i couldnt ask for anything else. so my mom became suspicious that i was doing things with him and that i was dating him for good. so my mom talked to my old best friend about it and she ended up crying to her telling my mom i had sex with him and everything. i ended up telling my mom i did after she had asked me. after my mom told me that she called the cops (me thinking he was going to jail for rape) but it was just a restraing order. i dont want to be with anyone else besides him i love him more than anything in the world. and im gonna miss him terribly. i have no idea what i should do. he has no idea this is going on right now. he still thinks ill call him tonight and everything will be okay. when everything is going wrong. i need help .
thankss .
Hey =]
I was in the same exact shoes you're in right now.. But hun, realize your mom is taking action because she's concernec for your well being... Not to say that you're dumb or stupid.. because that's NOT the case.. BUT.. older guys tend to hurt us younger ones most of the time.. They're experienced most of the time.. So they know loopholes to cheating or lying.. etc.. About the having sex with him without protection, make sure you get tested. You really need to get tested for Std's/ Sti's... perhaps a pregnancy test if you want for precautions... Keep yourself safe.. I can't tell you you won't end up with him later on.. But trust me, things happen.. Life goes on.. And us humans move on. Just try to keep out of trouble.. Look at it this way.. your mom is trying to protect you..and by doing this she's kinda protecting him.. Because as most people would say.. they use the term 'jailbait'.. Your boyfriend could have gotten into worse trouble.. =/ if he comes near you things can get worse and you wont hear from him... So just try and move on.. My story is insane.. which is why I vowed not to date guys older than me... maybe by a year or 2 but no more.. Take care..
Uniq =]
I am almost 16 years old and have NEVER kissed a guy before.wtf?!! It mostly has to do with my size though. I am 5'11, very big boned and has some chubchub.But still/it is pretty pathetic. i'm not grubby, i shower everyday, where nice, clean clother, have good hygeine...and still nothing. I know some guys have liked me but i mostly just think they are too embarassed to ask me out and stuff. I'm not a mean person, I have many many friends and people and teachers talk well to me. i have never once been in a bitchy/girly fight. People like me.(yea....sounds pretty cocky) sooo what's up??..i need love!!
Hi =]
I know how you feel! Lol good things come in different sizes, ages, shapes, colors... You're one of the few ladies that have been blessed with a great personality as it seems. Guys just have this idea in their head... They get these images that women have to look like beyonce or shakira.. have to be all these things.. guys sometimes just expect too much... and since they base on appearance... they don't get to know the real you.. Im not saying only guys do this.. nor ALL guys... I would say... make new friends... guys.. and get to know em.. let them get to know you.. eventually there will be one whom can have the courage to ask you out.. OR you can be brave and ask them out! There's NOTHING wrong with it! Good luck hun =]
Uniq
I've been really depressed lately, because I have less friends than I did last year, and I feel really ugly/
my family is broke, so I cant afford and clothes that are cute, and every one tells me Im bad at dressinggg :( cause my only clothes are from the beginning of the year.
And I just feel really REALLY ugly and everything! I need help :( Im so depressed about how I look, and my teeth, and hair, and makeup and clothes (mostly)
Hi =]
It's okay hun.. don't be afraid to spill your feelings.. Let me tell you something. People can be so superficial.. materialistic... And just like my fellow advicenator said... "Misery loves company" oh yes it does... Don't listen to these people honey.. clothes don't mean ANYTHING. You can dress in sweats and a white tank top.. but as long as you are happy inside, that's all that counts. Tell people to keep their negativity... because those are their inner feelings.. They don't feel good enough so they attack YOU because they see you struggling maybe..
I understand where you're coming from through. Now a days.. the clothes your have.. the sneakers you own.. your hair.. all these things play a big role into fitting in.. =/ I hate to say it but you MUST brush it off. Maybe buy a cute purse... it doesn't have to be designer.. save some money if you can... Make yurself feel better by buying sometthing cute even if it's from a 99 cent store.. I do lol. Misery loves company.. don't let them lure you into their negativity and put you down... thats what they want... to eliminate competition =/ keep your head up and I'm always here for you if you ever wanna talk just leave me a msg in my inbox ... take care!
Uniq =]
okay so im a sophmore in highschool and theres this guy who is a frehsman in college. we have known each other for over a year and we talk honestly, ALL the time. We talk about everything and anything, hes so easy to talk to and hes really fun. The only problem is he has a girlfriend and we never talk about anything having to do with relationships but it just seems like hes been very flirty lately. Example, we video chatted but his girlfriend was in the room so he didnt want to talk so she would know i guess? but i could talk to him (he would have ear phones).it made me a little uncomfortable and that is the first time something like that has happened. anyways my friend thinks he likes me since hes been flirty lately and since we always always talk. i know that i could easily like him, but i dont want to let myself like him because i know he has a girlfriend and i do not want to be that girl at all.
Hi =]
Well there's no question, but I'm assuming "idk what to do about him" is the question. You're completely right, you shouldn't let yourself like him because he has a girlfriend. If he's flirting with you while he has a girlfriend, he'd probably do it to you behind your back, you know? I'm glad you have a mature sense of mind, and my advice would be to drop these vid chats and constant chats. Sure, a guy in a relationship can have a friend... But it's not cool for him to talk to another female specifically... and hide it. If she were open to him talking to you, he wouldn't have to hide it. And this can lead to problems and confrontations with his girlfriend. Hope I helped!
Uniq =]