MoonFisher's advice column

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Q: I know this is really weird, but its really important to me to at least hear out what other people think about this:

Last year, i fell in head over heals love with one of my teachers. i really loved him. he made me feel like a better person, and i would do anything to make him happy (not stupid anything, but you know what i mean). he means the world to me. well i graduated, and i miss him like shit. i miss him so much. i go back and see him, and i'm with him ever chance i get. it's not that i care what my peers think of me or anything, but my friends get scared/nervous whenever they hear that i was with him or what ever. i want to be able to talk to them about this, but i'm not sure they'd listen. what do you think, and what do i do? Is there something like mently wrong with me, because it feels that way.

sorry this is so long . . .

Well, are you at least 18? If you are of legal age and he isn't married, I say to hell with what anyone thinks! Seriously. But don't let him take control of you, which tends to happen often with older men.

Q: Whats a rebound girl? i think i kno but im not 4 sure lol i kno its a really dumb question but

A rebound person is one you date, not seriously, to help you get over the last one. If someone just broke up with their girlfriend of 3 years and they start dating you right away, chances are he isn't serious and you're his rebounder.

Q: Ok, well this guy and I just started going out. I like him so much and he likes me too obviously. Well we've only been going out for a day. Today at school I acted all weird. I mean I like him a lot but he makes me shy. I didn't talk to him much and tried to avoid him a little. I really want us to work out as a couple. What do you guys think I should do in order to not be shy and talk to him and such. I have had boyfriends so its not like I'm stupid, this guy just makes me shy like no other boyfriend has. Thanks :)

You need to break the ice and get more comfortable with him. The best way to do that is hang out in a large group of mutual friends and go do something fun. When you have friends around, that weird pressure you feel will diminish and you'll be more at ease to get to know one another. I remember with my first boyfriend, there was a constant terror of getting kissed and such. That threat isn't as looming in a group atmosphere.

Q: i was in the car with my dad the other night and there was this possom in the middle of the road and it looked like it had rabies b/c it was still alive...should u kill it and put it out of its missory or go around it?

Honestly, I would swerve for any animal, because neither you nor I are a vet and able to make that diagnosis. If I KNEW for a fact it had rabies, I would hit it, but then wash my car before my dogs decided to lick the blood off of it and have the carcass removed before a dog ate it and got sick as well. The worry is that it can spread rabies to other animals, including a dog or cat that may bite a child. If you really think it had rabies, you should immediately call your local animal control office so they can isolate the animal and make a diagnosis.

Q: arite well rite now im cleanin my hampster cage and im soaking EVERYTHING in dish soap and hot water...well my hampster like is in his lil hampster ball while im doing this and hes not like a tiny lil hampster hes really big!! and healhty...well he peed in his hampster ball and hes done this b4 but i juss wash the ball after i get the cage back together...shuld i wash the hampster??? how wuld i do it?? like in a bowl? i dont wanna kill my hampster but shuld i wash him?

Your hamster will clean himself. Let him be.

Q: My dog has been sleeping a lot more during the day than usual and i dunno why. She isn't feeling up to going out to play or anything either. I am worried. Will this stop soon? She is 9 years old though and she is healthy too. What is wrong?

Signed- Puppy Love XoXoX

As dogs get older, they will be less energetic. A nine year old dog is like a 50 year old man. They're both still spry and capeable, but usually prefer sleeping on the couch to romping around outside. You may want the vet to look your dog over to make sure there aren't any problems. This is the age when you start seeing things like hip displasia, which can make your animal hesitant to be active.

Q: whats a good name for a new fish?

Bubbles.

Q: I'm making "Day of the Dead Bread" for Spanish class, and it's due tomorrow. I was just wondering, is it ok to let the bread rise for more than the allotted time (it says about 1 -1/2 hours)? My mom and my aunt think it's ok if you go a little over, as long as you don't go under the rising time. Just wanting to know, as it's handy information.

You should be fine, just make sure you don't leave it TOO long or you'll end up with some puffy-ass bread.

Q: Hello guys,
I'm in the habit of baking sugar cookies for most major holidays, and this Yuletide, I was given the suggestion that, for the benefit of all my geeky gamer friends, I make D&D shaped cookies. This instantly sparked my interest. I'm already thinking about elfcookies with sparkly tunics, unicorn cookies with white frosting, pretzel sticks with a doubleheaded axe... but my friend wants Orc cookies. Typical. How am i supposed to make an Orc with a gingerbread man shaped cutter? I can figure out how to make an orc shape and trace around each one, but here are my problems:

1.How can I make brown or dark frosting that isn't molasses (too sticky) and will stay put, or dry hard so I can stack the cookies without mooshing them? I usually use a milk and powdered sugar mix that dries hard, but how to dye it brown or black?
2. What sort of edible decorations can I use for armor? Chex? m&m's? I can't think of anything good!

Anyone have any good ideas?

My mother is a professional cake decorator and she manages to find all the food colours she needs at a decorating shop. You should be able to get some basic colours at the grocery store to make brown or black frosting, though black tastes icky and you're better off going for a light blue (silverish) colour. For the armour, you can use laffy taffy! Roll it out flat and then cut the armor shapes from it, lol. Just an idea! Or, you can be REALLY daring and make a little cardboard cutout of the armor shape. Then buy some chocolate chips or meltable dipping chocolate, melt it, and pour it into the armour moulds to make it shape and cool into armor pieces. Have fun, from one D&D nerd to another!

Q: does anyone know a really good recipe for a dinner [preferably vegatarian, but if it's not that's OK] that could feed a family of 5 or 6?

Eggplant Parmesian is good if you eat dairy.

You will need:

an eggplant
bread crumbs (lipton garlic herb is best, plain will do fine, or just blend some bread slices)
Vegetable or Olive oil
3-4 eggs
Your favorite tomatoe or spaghetti sauce
Mozzerella cheese
Parmesian cheese

Peel an eggplant, slice it into coins. Mix together three or four eggs and dip the eggplant in the eggs, covering it thoroughly. Then dip the egg covered eggplant coin into the bread crumbs and completely cover it. Heat the oil in a pan until a drop of water sizzles in it. Put mixture-covered eggplant slices into the oil and fry until golden. Put all these golden fried coins into a pan, cover with tomato or spaghetti sauce and grated mozzerella cheese and parmisian. Heat in oven at 350 until cheese is melted.

Q: Perhaps I'm just the stupidest person in the world, but I have this difficulty in making cookies.Normally it's that I add too much of one ingridient, or too little of another, or that I set the oven to the wrong time. My whole family is mad, because we were having a party, and Mom told me to make cookies, except they were quite horrible, and one guest threw-up. Is there anything I can do to fix this problematic situation!

Only one thing to do:

Slow your booty down and READ THE DAMN INTRUCTIONS.

If you can't read the instructions in the recipe, then how can you expect us to believe that you would follow the advice in this column. You seem literate enough. Quit psyching yourself out over it and just follow the directions,

Q: does anyone know how to make the salsa dip not as spicy cause we bought extra spicy on accident and its wayy to hott!! do you think its ok to put sugar in it? ok well i hope someone knows how cause my mouth is on fire!!!!!

Don't add sugar. I would just go buy mild and mix it together, or chop up some tomatoes and fry them and add them to it. I always make my own salsa.

Q: what do u put in potatoe salad and how do u make it?

To make it easier, I peel and then dice the potatoes BEFORE boiling them. Boil them until soft and then run them under cool water in a strainer. I add some sliced up hard boiled egg, chopped celery, relish, dill pickle, green onion, black or green olives, pimentos if you like them and then add mayo until I get the right consistency. Then add a little squirt of mustard and stir until the color looks just right. Then I add some pepper and garlic salt, and some folks sprinkle red pepper or paprika on top.

Q: Anyone know some good cookie recipies- only give me ur favorites. Thanx

I can give you the best peanut butter cookie recipe in the world! I hate peanut butter cookies that don't taste like peanut butter! They taste like someone just waved the pb jar over the dough for a sec and made sugar cookies. These are REALLY peanut-buttery, yummy, and ridiculously easy.

Ingredients:

One cup peanut butter (crunchy is best, but creamy will work)
One cup granulated (normal) sugar
One egg

Mix these three things together, heat oven to 350. Refrigerate dough for about an hour. Drop onto GREASED cookie sheet in tablespoons and flatten with a fork. Maybe sprinkle some sugar on top for fun. Cook for about 10 minutes or until brown. DO NOT TOUCH THEM until completely cool or they will fall apart. For fun, you can add some chocolate chips. Is that easy or what? Makes a nice, chewy cookie.

Q: I noe this may sound kinda stupid...but..i have neva gone down on a guy...i have done other things but not that and i was wondering if you can give head with braces..? i mean i noe its possible but what about tha wires n stuff??? PlZzZz help..Thanx! xox

Ummm, you even put your teeth anywhere near his member and he's gonna be unhappy about it, so the braces shouldn't make a difference. When you put your teeth on it at all, this is call "raking" and can be quite uncomfortable for the poor guy in question. Curl your lips over your teeth and don't let them touch his penis. If you have so much head gear that this is not possible, then I guess you'll have to put off head for awhile.

Q: how long should a tampon be worn? I have herd that they should be worn for 4 to 8 hours but my friend told me that as long as you change it within 24 hours you'll be good. Which is the true answer?

You need to read the instructions included in the box of tampons. Toxic Shock Syndrome is very dangerous and you need to be careful! NEVER leave a tampon in for more than 8 hours. Six hours would be best, as changing it too often can irritate your vagina. Tell your friend, too, that she needs to look out for any flu-like syptoms while wearing her tampon for so long, and recommend a few deodorizers sprays for her junk. That's just nasty of her!

Q: Recently, i found my dad constantly going to chatrooms and talking to random ppl like he likes them better than my mom. every day he would be doing this but once my mom got home, he would close out of them. i dont know what to do. my brother knows about it too, but i dont know if i should tell my mom. please help....:(

I really think you should take a closer look at what your dad is doing. He may not even realize you are aware of it. Make sure it's other women he's being inappropriate with, and that he isn't just chatting with friends for fun. If he is, you should ask him something like "Who are you talking to?" or "Don't you love mom anymore?" That should get the old guilt ball rolling.

Q: my brother has tryed to make friends at school. but thery are still so mean to him. i tried to cange his look, but that did not work. now we might be moving so he could go to a different shool. but i want to see if he could make some friends so we dont have to move.

Honestly, I had a hard time in school, too, sometimes. I hate to promote violence, but the only way to get bullies to leave you alone is to let them know you aren't going to take it! Although laws are now making schools responsible for the safety and well-being of students, the fact is that most counselors and teachers are apathetic to children being bullied. I remember this well! What worked for me wa letting them know I was done with it. I finally popped one right in the mouth, knocked her down, kicked her in the stomach, and asked the other girls which one of you little c***s is next?! I never had another problem.

Q: What is beauty?

I know you're bring silly, but I'll give an honest answer.

Beauty is seeing my sister's body stretched to it's limits and give birth to a new life. Beauty is all the small stretch marks, imperfections, and pains that mark her as a mother and a woman. Beauty lies in her strength and love as she holds her new daughter and nurses her. And, I hope beyond hope, that someone will feel the same way about me when I am swollen with child. Beauty is life, love, and the power of creation.

Q: i just got around to my 7th day of my period and it was pretty much all done [less and less coming out], but all of a sudden, it got really heavy again!! why is this happening? does it happen a lot during this time?

Was your last period pretty light? Are you still pretty young? Most of the time, lighter periods mean heavier ones next time around, and puberty means it can be all over the board. I wouldn't worry too much. This is normal.