Hello, call me Abby =] I'm eighteen and a senior in high school this year. I've always had great advice, I'm just not so great at following it =P Feel free to ask me anything, I'll do my best to give you an answer.
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Member Since: February 10, 2007
Answers: 962
Last Update: May 3, 2012
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heyy
well to start of im sorry if it is a lengthy question
i am 15/f and i have made a huge mistake. nothing sexual or anything but a mistake between this guy i have a crush on.
anyway a couple of days ago i had the worst possible day of my life,so many things went wrong.
well afterschool i was taking the bus home and having a nice conversation with my neighbour (one of the only things that was going right that day) when my crush came up (he's the bad boy type you could say)
now dont get me wrong but i really like him but that day was so bad and then he legitly stuck his head between us annd then i told him to go away but then he asked why and without thinking i said "because i dont like you"
and now i feel horribe and guilty. i think that i may have hurt his feelings but my best friends say that i probably didnt and if i did he would have brushed it off by now
anyway i feel like an asshole and a jerk and i see him everyday and i want to apologize because its killing me but i just cant talk to him now.
we werent good friends but we could talk to each other and now we cant even do that.
but dont get me wrong i am very nice not to be cocky but everyone says i am the nicest person they know.
i just feel like a jerk and i have to make it up to him for one i cant sleep or eat because of it and two he is my neighbour and my crush
what should i do?
please help asap
thanks
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He probably didn't take what you said too seriously, but you can fix it.
Next time you see him walk up to him and make conversation. You can even say "Sorry I was rude to you on the bus, I was having a really bad day."
As long as he sees you still want to talk to him, things will be back to normal. You can even be flirty and say "When I said I didn't like you, I was lying."
Play it cool and observe his attitude. I'm sure he wasn't too upset.
Good luck,
-Abby
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okay. so me and this guy hung out yesterday and we were supposed to go to the beach to watch the sun go down and stuff. but we decided wed do that another day so we went to the park and he put his arm around me and held my hand and he wanted to get a scary movie because i get scared easily so we watched that and i layed on his chest and we held hands and when the movie was over and he was about to leave we were hugging for a long time and he was kissing the top of my head and i thought he wanted to kiss i thought it was a mutual kiss but i leaned in for it a little more then him and he didnt pull away he kissed back and then he said hmm that was random so i dont know if he likes me or not
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Sounds like the guy was nervous or was sending you mixed signals.
Holding you, holding your hand, hugging you, and kissing your forehead all show that he is interested.
Maybe he wasn't expecting the lip to lip kiss and said it was 'random' because he went for one thing and you went for the other.
Has he been in contact with you since then? If he doesn't talk to you in a day or two, he may be weirded out by what happened.
How was his attitude when you were hanging out? Was he open and conversational? Was he smiling and being flirty? If he wasn't any of those things then he may not be interested.
I say wait it out and let him contact you. If he wants to hang out again then he's interested.
Good luck,
-Abby
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19 f
okay so i dont usually go to parties but its my friends party so i really wanna go. i dont know what to wear at all. i have black pumps so i need ideas of cute outfits that will look nice with those shoes. i also have leggings. i dont know im just lost. i want to look nice. please provide pictures of the outfits. i have long black hair and im curling it so thats taken care of. but i really need party outfit ideas :( thankyou so much in advance to everyone who answers! (link)
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Hey :)
First off, what kind of party is it? Your black pumps will go with just about ANYTHING, so thats a good start.
Is it at her house? Then it will be pretty casual. For that you can do skinny jeans, black pumps, and a cute top.
http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=top%5Fdressy&product%5Fid=2070221383&Page=1
http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=top%5Fdressy&product%5Fid=2000003992&Page=1
Any dressy top would look cute.
If its at a club or bar, you could do leggings and another dressy top like the ones above, with a black blazer or leather jacket on top. If its a nice club or restaurant, you could do a cute dress with your pumps.
http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=dress%5Fclub&product%5Fid=2067894387&Page=1 If you do a sexy one like this, pair a black blazer over it so you don't look too exposed. You can always take if off later.
http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=dress%5Fclub&product%5Fid=2081259340&Page=1
I would ask what your friend is wearing, and then dress in a similar style to her (but she will probably be the most dressed up since its her party!)
Good luck and have fun!
-Abby
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I usually wear flats quite a bit, but they seem to wear out so quickly! I wear them with bare feet, thin socks, and pantyhose, but it always seems that the insides get a lot of marks from my feet and look beat up. Does this happen to other girls and do you have any methods of making this not happen as much? They also make my feet really smelly depending on what I wear on my feet too lol (link)
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Flats do wear out easier, because they are typically thinner and more cheaply made then say a sneaker. I find that you also put more pressure on them then you would another shoe, because sneakers have more padding.
Investing in a good brand might help you extend the life of your flats. Tory Burch is famous for her comfortable but stylish flats, but they are on the expensive side.
Rubber bottoms will typically hold up longer. Look at the material of the shoe. The thicker it is the longer it will last.
You can try putting in your own inserts (like Dr. Scholls) which will absorb some of the pressure and make your feet more comfortable!
You could try sprinkling some baby powder in there to absorb some of the sweat to kind of kill the smell.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Ok so im 13 and i weigh only 76 pounds and i feel too skinny like its gross, I have a really fast matabulism and im not sure what to do to make me look bigger, any suggestions? (link)
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You are probably at an 'awkward' stage, just starting to go through puberty. I bet you wait a year or two, you will find that you will gain some weight on your hips and breasts and feel less skinny.
If you really are worried about it, I would have your parents take you to the doctor or a nutritionist. They can help you with a diet plan if you want to gain weight. There are shakes and bars that have a lot of calories to help you put on weight, and you can do some weight training to put on muscle and look more toned instead of skinny.
Don't worry so much about your appearance, everyone your age is growing and changing and feels uncomfortable from time to time.
Good luck,
-Abby
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i broke up with my ex cause he had cheated on me
i had no plans of going back to him
and i stopped talking to him completely
but then he keeps on calling me everyday and saying sorry
i dont know what he wants cause
he does say sorry and says he feels terrible for everything
but not once has he mentioned he wants me back
i miss him a alot and obv i want him to come back so u see its very hard for me to be rude to him and not talk at all
what do you think he wants?
he just wants to be friends?
or is he just lying cause he doesnt want me to hate him forever cause we have a lot of mutual friends?
or..
he does love me but is scared to tell me he wants me back?! (link)
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Cheating is a difficult situation, and you have to proceed cautiously or you could be in the same position again.
Did he admit to you that he cheated before you found out? My rule of thumb is, if a guy feels guilty enough to tell you what happened, then he really is sorry and may deserve a second chance. If he never had plans on telling you, then he didn't feel all that terrible about it, and would probably do it again.
Maybe he is calling you because he wants closure, and he doesn't want it to be awkward when you are all around your friends.
Or maybe he does want you back.
But can you trust him? Honestly, deep down, is he worth it?
Ask an unbiased friend what she thinks. Sometimes its easier for someone outside the situation to help you decide the logical choice.
I would get together and talk to him, maturely. Make sure he fully apologizes and is sincere before considering making up. And if thats what he wants, don't let him have it easily. Make him prove it to you that he appreciates you and will respect you from now on.
Use your judgement and go more with your head on this one and less with your heart.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Im 13 and my friends talk about their girlfriends quite often. they ask if iv'e got a girlfriend and I reply "iv'e never had one".
WHY IS THIS!
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You are SO young! I didn't have a boyfriend til I was seventeen! Please don't rush into anything, most relationships don't happen for the right reasons at your age because you think you should do it just to do it, so your friends won't make fun of you or so you will look cool, etc. Wait until you find a special girl that you like, and then make a move. That's how you get a girlfriend.
-Abby
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My girlfriend and i are 16 weve been together over 7 months and we havent done anything sexually yet and she says she wants to go further
im still nervous she wants to see my penis and im a little worried because my penis is not real big its 4.5 inches long is that a good size? (link)
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I'm glad you and your girlfriend have been together a good amount of time and are discussing your sex lives. However, the amount of time you have been together doesn't determine if you are ready for sex.
If you feel nervous about it for whatever reason, you probably shouldn't do it. I had no doubts in my mind when I first had sex. It should feel natural and right, not cause anxiety.
I'm assuming if she hasn't seen your penis, then you havent done other sexual activities like oral sex. Perhaps you should work your way up to sex before jumping into it. Then at least you can decide if you are really ready.
Please make sure you are protected before you do anything.
-Abby
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im 16/f and feel over weight, im 4'11 and weigh 160. my doctors says i should be weighing 130 or less. i hate the way i look i just want to die at times. my mother and I are looking for a plastic surgons in Rockford, Illinois that will do payments. we dont have much money but are able to make payments month to month. i just want to be happy and love myself. thank you. (link)
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I know you feel hopeless right now, and just want the weight off ASAP. But I'm afraid liposuction isn't the answer.
First off, finding a doctor who will operate on a sixteen year old may be hard.
There is also a limited amount of fat that the surgeon can remove per surgery. Taking out too much puts you at risk for complications. The doctor won't be able to remove 30lbs of fat from you through liposuction.
You can also gain the weight back after liposuction. If you continue unhealthy eating and exercise patterns, you will have wasted thousands of dollars and be right back where you started.
I know you don't want to hear this, but you need to do it the old fashioned way. Diet and exercise. It seems impossible, but people who are morbidly obese have lost HUNDREDS of pounds on their own! You only need to lose thirty!
Perhaps you should take the money you would spend on plastic surgery and invest in a personal trainer or a nutritionist.
You don't have to work out like a mad woman or starve yourself to get there. You are young, the weight will come off more easily now then it will in say ten years, so I suggest you get into a healthy lifestyle as soon as possible.
Start slow, like cutting out a junk food every week and replacing it with a healthier food, like chips for apples. Add a little bit of exercise EVERY day. Go for a walk around your neighborhood or dance to your favorite songs. Exercise releases endorphins which put you in a good mood, so you will feel better almost immediately!
As you start to feel better, add more activity and make healthier choices.
There are lots of free online resources that can help you. Seventeen.com has a fitness section thats all about teen girls with food and exercises.
A lot of nutritionists will have you keep a food journal. Write down EVERYTHING that goes into your mouth. It will help you see what you are doing wrong and what you are doing right.
Portion sizes are often too big in America, so pay attention to HOW much you are eating. The big dinner plates we typically eat off of? You should really be eating off the smaller snack size plates. A serving of chicken or meat should be the size of your hand balled up in a fist. A veggie portion should be a little smaller than that.
Don't eat when you are bored, and sit at the table and chew slowly. Often when we are on the go, we just shove food down our throats and don't realize how much we are eating.
Walk to places you would normally drive too if it isn't too far. Walk around the mall. Just get moving!
Please don't give up. You can do this.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I'm 16 with very light skin. I have Jergans Natural Glow the medium skin tone(I bought it when I was like 12 so I picked up medium ahah) and I decided to use it again. Every night I shower so last night I shaved my legs then applied the Jergans Natural Glow to my legs. This morning, it made me tan/orange and that's fine however, it's not even all over my legs! So I have white patches all over!! Tonight I'm going to shower again and thinking about putting more of that lotion on however, I don't want the dark spots to be even darker tomorrow. How should I apply it to my legs so everything is nice and even? Also, will it come off when I shower? Advice much appreciated ASAP so I know what to do for tonight so I can wear shorts tomorrow! :D (link)
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Shower and exfoliate really well. Then, dry off completely! Make sure your hair isn't wet and dripping on you either, because that will cause streaks.
Apply lotion to knees, elbows, and hands because they are typically dry and can look orange. I suggest wearing plastic gloves when applying the product because no matter how much you wash your hands, it won't all come off.
Start from your bottom and work your way up. Do even strokes and work it in everywhere.
After, remove the gloves and add a little to your hands.
Then, stand in front of a fan if you can and dry off. Don't get wet for a while! And don't lay down or throw clothes on right away, because it might cause uneven color.
Good luck,
-Abby
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My girlfriend and i are 16 weve been together almost a year now we are still virgins were happy with the way things are weve talked about having sex and we both decided we are not ready for sex yet so how do you know when youre ready? at 16 we think we are a bit young for sex there seemed to be a lot of teenagers having sex at 16 is that too young? what do you think? (link)
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Hey There ;)
I'm glad you and your girlfriend are talking about this, and that you seem to be seeking advice from others. You may want to talk to a counselor, a parent, an older friend/family member, someone who is experienced that you can trust before you decide to take that leap.
Firstly, I think it's great that you have been with her so long and you are happy without sex. Relationships that are based around sex are bound to fail. Communication is also super important. Sex can make things awkward and show another side of you no one gets to see, so if you and your girlfriend can't talk about these things, you aren't ready.
Unfortuately, there is no guide to tell you when you are ready. It's different for each person. Some people have sex as early as 13 and others wait til marriage.
These are my 'guidelines' for being ready:
-You are prepared. As in you have the protection you need and you know how to use it. Even if your girlfriend is on the pill, I would still use a condom because if she forgets to take it even one day, she could get pregnant.
-You are emotionally prepared. Sex changes a relationship. It could be in a positive or a negative way. Are you ready for that? Are you prepared if things become awkward, or either of you feel guilty after having sex? Some couples do it and then don't want to talk to each other after. Hopefully if you both choose to do this at the right time, that won't happen. But it is a risk you have to account for.
I'll tell you my own experience. I was dating my first boyfriend for 3 months when I lost my virginity. We were both 17 and we are still together now (7 months later). Going into the relationship I didn't know when, if at all, I was going to have sex. But as we got more intimate, sex just seemed like the next natural progression. I was attracted to him, I liked the feeling I got when we hooked up and did other things, and it just felt right. I wasn't nervous and I didn't regret it afterward. I think it has made us closer and opened up our conversations.
Basically, you will FEEL it when it when you are ready. You will want to and you wont have any inhibitions. You might feel this way before your girlfriend, since guys are typically a little more eager, but I'm sure you will make the right decision.
There is no need to rush anything, just enjoy your relationship and what comes with it.
-Abby
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what can you use instead of an eye primer? like if you dont have an eye primer. (link)
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Lotion, concealer, foundation. A light coat of vaseline might do the trick, or I've even read that chafing creams they sell at the drug stores have similar ingredients to that of Urban Decay Primer Potion (the best primer you can get, for about 18 bucks.)
You can get eye shadow and face primers at drug stores or even Wal Mart. They have a Hard Candy line that people rave about, and it's affordable. Target has some higher end make up, like Sonia Kashuk or Jemma Kidd. They also carry Elf makeup, which ranges from like $1-5 dollars usually.
Good luck!
-Abby
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. We have a great relationship, full of trust and open communication. I feel like we are perfect for each other because we both agree we can be our real selves around each other so perfectly.
He and I kiss, cuddle, and hug all the time. He wants to have a more of variety when we see each other. I sit in his lap and stuff but nothing really sexual. He and I don't want to go that far. He is more experienced with kissing, but I don't desire to french kiss. I want to satisfy him more. I love to kiss and cuddle but I want some more variety without being so shy! I press my body against him but that's the only really sexual thing I do. He doesn't respond as much as I think he will.
I need some tips and techniques! (link)
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Your boyfriend might feel right now that you two aren't being intimate, even though you show affection. It's your choice if you don't want to go further, but the majority of teenage guys want more. They're just naturally more sexual!
If you two are very open, discuss how far you want to go and what is appropriate. Ask him what he wants, and maybe you can oblige in a few ways.
You can try things like sucking and nibbling on his ear, my boyfriend really loves that. Lick a spot on his neck and breathe on it, that will turn him on for sure. Gentle kisses on his neck don't have to be overtly sexual or going too far.
Don't knock french kissing til you try it! You can start gentle and sensual, and work your way up if you feel like it. Lick his lips, slip your tongue in his mouth and play with his, or let his tongue do the work.
Stroke the back of his neck gently and play with his hair. This can also be hot.
When you press your body against him, 'casually' gring your pelvis against his. You can make it seem like an accident if you want to.
Just play around and let things happen naturally! You shouldn't have to force it. And only do what you are comfortable with, your boyfriend will understand.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I am married with 2 children. I had an affair with a black man and I am white. I have tried for three months to work on my marriage and had no contact with him. I miss him terribly but have not divorced my husband bc he is a good dad and good husband. Everyone says it would be hard for them to adjust to someone black. It has been 3 months since contact with this other man. The feelings are not going away and I am trying to do what is best for my kids. Am i doing the righ thing? What is your opinion? (link)
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First off, your decision shouldn't be based on race. A man is a good man no matter what color he is. Children are usually more accepting then any other age group.
If you are to leave your husband, it shouldn't be based on one guy. It should be based on the fact that you don't love your husband anymore, you can't make it work, and it's unhealthy for the whole family to keep the marriage going.
Don't leave your husband just to get with the black man, he may not be waiting for you or things may not work out.
I suggest couples counseling before making any rash decisions. Think about all the things you love about your husband and what made you fall for him in the first place. Give this heavy consideration.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Okay so, I haven't been to an orthodontist in over 5 months (long story). My teeth are straight and I was supposed to have my braces off by now. If I make an appointment for an orthodontist I've never been to, and my mom asked them to take my braces off, would they? And if they would, about how much would it cost? Thanks :) (link)
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A new orthodonist would want to examine you and see your history before touching your braces. I doubt he would just take them off the first appointment.
And cost? That depends on your insurance and the orthodonist you go to.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I am 13(m)and my hair is really coarse/thick and curly. Right now I straighten it every morning and its just getting to be too much work. I have no idea what do with it, any suggestions? (link)
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As a girl who spends too much time on her hair, I'm sorry to see a guy like you struggling when it should be easy for you.
You could go to the salon and get it chemically straightened. This would solve your problems, but there are some cons:
-Can be expensive
-Takes time out of your schedule
-You would have to get the process re-done as your hair grows in (but you can prolong it by just straightening your roots, which would be quick)
You could try some products for sale at drugstores or beauty stores that are meant for use at home. You can 'relax' your own hair at home with relaxer or you could try deep conditioners to soften your hair.
These will also cost some money and take some time.
Have you ever thought about a shorter hair cut? I envy guys with buzz cuts because they don't have to do anything with their her! Just wash and go. Ask some friends how they think you would look with shorter hair for an honest opinion.
Just play around with some options and see what works for you. Don't give up!
Good luck,
-Abby
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Im 16, and i am trying to get over my last relationship . it was over a year and a half.
it ended 3 months ago. its not that i want him back, i just get so upset that he is moving on.
please give so suggestions. (link)
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It's hard to watch someone you considered yours be with someone else. You may feel depressed, jealous, even angry. When you devote that much time to a person its a normal reaction.
It sounds like you've had time to sort of 'mourn' the relationship, so now it might be time to put yourself out there. That doesn't mean get a new boyfriend ASAP, but you could go on some dates and flirt with new boys. You will feel a lot less lonely and deserted if you at least try to make some connections with a new person, because you will know that you are also moving on like your ex. Eventually you will find another guy you really like. This will take time, but it will be worth it in the end.
Remember, you are only 16! You have so much more to come!
Good luck,
-Abby
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ok how about if you are almost 17 then can you move in with your boyfriend to get away from your parents? (link)
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Legally you are still a minor and your parents are your guardians. They can prevent you from living with your boyfriend.
You could file for emancipation from your parents, but that isn't practical since you are probably less than a year away from being legal and it would cost you legal fees. Also, you would have to prove you are responsible and sufficent for yourself, meaning you need a steady income, a place to live, a future ahead of you, etc.
A judge probably won't consider living with a boyfriend as a steady place to live.
I would try to work things out with your parents before going to drastic measures.
-Abby
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ever felt like you couldn't turn to anyone? I think I'm suffering from depression but dont have the courage to speak out, I'm afraid of the stuff that comes with it... medications, being treated like a psycho and just the constant eyes wathcing your every move in case you take your life. I'm tempted just to end it all and let them all find out the hard way... What should I do? Please only give honest advice you would take yourself, not what you think I should hear or want to hear (link)
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In 9th grade, I developed depression. I had just switched to a new school with over 3000 kids. My middle school had a litle over 100 kids! It was a huge shock. I think I knew like 3 people at this new school, and I never saw any of them. I felt like no one understood and so lonely.
My mom had recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I found this out on my own and also that depression runs in my family, so I felt especially betrayed because it would have helped me with my own feelings. She told me that I'm young, what do I have to be depressed about? She didn't get it, so I felt like I couldn't tell her.
Once spring of that year rolled around, things got better. I liked school more, I became closer with God, and my attitude changed. I still have days where I feel depressed, but I keep myself busy and think about all the good things in my life.
Depression is very common, you aren't going to be treated like you are crazy. You only have to reveal it to people you trust, so you don't have to be judged by it. You can see a doctor who can give you medication and talk to a therapist. The solutions are endless, you don't have to feel this way.
Taking your life is not an option. You have so much ahead of you, and you have the power to make it amazing.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Ive been texting this guy for a while now. Almost a year nd were always flirting with each other. We haven't met in person so all we do is text. Sometimes we don't even talk at all. All we do is send smileys like. ( :D . (: . :o ) stuff like that. I was wondering why is that? I feel like we don't know wat to talk about but we still want to keep texting each other. Helppp. (link)
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It sounds like you two are just using each other for entertainment.
You have fun talking to each other and think of each other as a potential hook up but don't take it very seriously. Lots of people text each other for fun or just to have a person on the back burner in case they decided to have a hook up, but it's especially odd with you sicne you haven't met. And for a whole year? That to me screams that neither of you take it seriously and that nothing is going to happen.
If you think you might like him and want something to work, then you have to put in the effort. Make conversation, see if you have things in common and see if you have chemistry. Have a phone call for god's sake! Hear his voice.
Then you can decide if you want to meet him in person.
Good luck,
-Abby
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