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Waiting for sex
My girlfriend and i are 16 weve been together almost a year now we are still virgins were happy with the way things are weve talked about having sex and we both decided we are not ready for sex yet so how do you know when youre ready? at 16 we think we are a bit young for sex there seemed to be a lot of teenagers having sex at 16 is that too young? what do you think?
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Hey There ;)
I'm glad you and your girlfriend are talking about this, and that you seem to be seeking advice from others. You may want to talk to a counselor, a parent, an older friend/family member, someone who is experienced that you can trust before you decide to take that leap.
Firstly, I think it's great that you have been with her so long and you are happy without sex. Relationships that are based around sex are bound to fail. Communication is also super important. Sex can make things awkward and show another side of you no one gets to see, so if you and your girlfriend can't talk about these things, you aren't ready.
Unfortuately, there is no guide to tell you when you are ready. It's different for each person. Some people have sex as early as 13 and others wait til marriage.
These are my 'guidelines' for being ready:
-You are prepared. As in you have the protection you need and you know how to use it. Even if your girlfriend is on the pill, I would still use a condom because if she forgets to take it even one day, she could get pregnant.
-You are emotionally prepared. Sex changes a relationship. It could be in a positive or a negative way. Are you ready for that? Are you prepared if things become awkward, or either of you feel guilty after having sex? Some couples do it and then don't want to talk to each other after. Hopefully if you both choose to do this at the right time, that won't happen. But it is a risk you have to account for.
I'll tell you my own experience. I was dating my first boyfriend for 3 months when I lost my virginity. We were both 17 and we are still together now (7 months later). Going into the relationship I didn't know when, if at all, I was going to have sex. But as we got more intimate, sex just seemed like the next natural progression. I was attracted to him, I liked the feeling I got when we hooked up and did other things, and it just felt right. I wasn't nervous and I didn't regret it afterward. I think it has made us closer and opened up our conversations.
Basically, you will FEEL it when it when you are ready. You will want to and you wont have any inhibitions. You might feel this way before your girlfriend, since guys are typically a little more eager, but I'm sure you will make the right decision.
There is no need to rush anything, just enjoy your relationship and what comes with it.
-Abby
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