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how can i stop my affection to her?
am female, 22 y/o & married.
i am working with her, she's a colleague of mine. what confuses me is that she gives me a attitude that i don't know why... i am so confuse now. i am married and i definitely love my husband. i don't know... i have heard that she's into girls and is a bisexual. that's what other people says. am not gonna conclude about that specially that she have a boyfriend already too, which is one of our colleague. i don't know... this lady, i'll name her still maurice... the first time i work there i thought she was nice but then it turned out to me that she was so mean and rude, only to me. what confuses me is that she stares at me most of the time anyway and i've heard that she told someone she don't like me but usually talks about me. i told our manager about it. she said she talked to her, i don't know what she told her, but after that she was already nice to me... now, that was a month before. the other night, i talked to our manager on what's the sign of a lesbian since i can't notice. of course i made an alibi to help me ask her that kind. she said you can't have a hint. you won't know on most of them because you just won't know. i told her never in my life a lesbian made a pass on me. never. i've never been interested on the same sex anyway ( of course that's a lie, ok? because i really think i am falling for her. oh my God!!! ) now, the next day, maurice, started wearing a more bold clothes for her to look like a bisexual enough. i don't know if she did that on purpose or not. and then she acted weird. she was totally change. she became rude to me again, and acts like she hates me. i thought we were already ok!!! now i don't know what to do anymore... she is very successful on hurting my feelings. i didn't liked the way she dressed the other day and is being rude to me again. anyways, let me add this topic too, am not a sociable person really, and i bet she knows that as clear as a water. i don't talk that much to people at work, not only to her but to everybody. oh well, i am trying to protect my relationship with my husband here and my personal life against her. but i wanna stop my affection to her... now am starting to ask if i am bisexual too or not. and i have definitely no clue if she likes me back or not. but at least i wanna know... i know there's no future in this thing between me and her... my head tells me this is wrong, but my heart says different. maybe my head is just playing with me. i don't know. but people, i wanna hear every details from you. thank you so much for understanding. i am so confuse about myself and the things that is going on here (that's the most number one thing i am absolutely certain of).
thanks!
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As a man I say go for it. There's nothing wrong with exploring all of your sexuality. If your husband is cool, he should be fine with it. Whether you let him know or not is up to you, but you might want to take this opportunity to find out about yourself. If you don't, then you could be left wondering what you're missing for the rest of your life. I've had girlfriends who had to explore this path, and it didn't bother me at all, even when they've told me after the fact (happened twice). Most guys think bisexual women are awesome!
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thanks for the advice julie, i appreciate that. however, i am hesitant to do something on action about my feelings towards her. it seems to me it's gonna be wrong (no offense to you). besides, i don't even know for sure if she really has a feelings for me or not. am just waiting for her to approach me. and i hope she will...
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As long as this woman isn't your supervisor or superior, then you're in the clear to find out if you want to have a fling. She may be playing mean toward you to throw the other workers off, so they won't know she has feelings for you. Sometime when you've got her alone for a minute, ask her out to lunch or coffee. You can make up some lame excuse that you'd like her advice on something and see how she reacts. If she accepts then you've got a starting place to find out how you feel about her. There is a possibility that you're infatuated with her but more than likely you do have some sexual feelings toward her. There is nothing wrong with wanting to explore your sexual side but if you do have sex with her and find you want to continue, you may want to be honest with your husband. And be ready to accept the fact he may want to join in or he may be really hurt. This is something you may want to feel out from him before you get the ball rolling. If you need any other advice, please feel free to ask me. I hope this helps and good luck.
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