Member Since: March 30, 2011
Answers: 4
Last Update: April 2, 2011
Visitors: 829
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Try chatting with her in private a little more often. Let her know things you like to do, movies you like, what you like to eat and things like that. She may think your husband will want to join in or get in her way. You'll have to reassure her that you're allowed to have a separate social life away from him. Make sure you compliment her occasionally on her outfit or hair or anything else you can find that will let her know of your attraction to her. Don't ever feel like you're not good enough or pretty enough because I'm sure she already finds you good enough. Let me know if you need any other help sweetie. Julie (link)
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i don't think my husband would like it if in case he finds out. i attempted to tell him about these things but he took it for granted. saying am blowing things out of proportion. everytime i think about what he said, it makes me believe it too. then, it confuses me even more. i can go out with friends too, just as he knows where i am going and who i am with. am not from here originally and we have different culture. he's protective, yeah. anyways, back to her, am gonna wait for her move to me, if she will... i'll wait and wait. and if she don't, then i think it's best for me to keep it myself and move on.
i appreciate your help and time ms. julie. i don't have anybody to talk about these things. i'll let you know when something would come up.
thanks!
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When i was in middle school i was molested by my friends dad, and ever since then i have never looked at an older guy in a physical way. I'm 21 now and i work with a 40 year old who is insanley good looking for his age. He showed intrest in me and we've hung out a few times. The first time he tried to kiss me i felt VERY uncomfortable and said now, but each time we hung out i started to like him that much more, so we ended up making out. One night after drinking, we went back to his place and he tried kissing me more but i was tired so i started to pass out. I felt him taking my pants off, and then my underwear and he started to go down on me and then he had sex with me. I was pretending to be "passed out" the whole time, but he didn't know. So what's wrong with me? I think i didn't want him to know i was awake because i didn't want things to be awkward at work from then on, and i may have secretely wanted to have sex with him but didn't know what to do. What do you guys think my problem is? Because i still can't get him out of my mind. I just can't believe i could ever like someone 19 years older than me who technically raped me. (link)
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hey! first of all why did you went to his place and get drunk? yes he technically raped you (because there was no actually consent from you) because he might thought that you're being submissive anyway.
i hope he's not a family guy so nobody would get hurt. and yes, there's a bit wrong with you. i think you're having a hard time trusting a older guy because of what happened in your past. but past is past. not all old men are the same. learn to take care of yourself above anything else. now, if i were you, i'd make sure that this guy loves me and i wouldn't end up being hurt. how much do you know about him? i hope too that he's not your superior at work.
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I know you're waiting for her to make the first move but she's probably thinking the same thing about you. If you invite her out to coffee, then the ball is in her court. If she really doesn't have feelings for you, she won't accept. And even if she does, you'll have to see what her actions are toward you when you're out. If she laughs at your little jokes or touches your arm gently or plays with her hair a lot, then she's probably into you. If she doesn't then she may only want to be friends. If you need anything else, please let me know. Julie. (link)
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you have a very confident advice julie. it's really great. but the thing is, i've always hate rejections, i never want to get rejected. i can't afford to ask her out.
it really hurts me to the fact that she acts like she hates me for some reasons. then she make these loud voices that "they" don't like her (i thinks she's talking about the people). she ones told me that a lot of people don't like her. for some reasons i didn't asked why. i don't care what other people thinks about her. i love the way she is and who she is. anyways, she only say that whenever am around. another thing is, whenever i start flirting with guys too i feel like she's staring at me so furiuosly that the person am talking to would just leave. i bet she gives them a bad vibes. i don't know, i really can't analyze her. she confuses me. there are a lot of wierd but so nice instances between us that happened. she even mimics me too, i think. i wear glasses, and she do. i have eye problem and she does now! i wear jacket, she then goes out and comes back with a jacket on. i laugh out loud unintentionally with someone and she does the same thing. i talked to her once too, we were just talking smoothly, and then everytime i talk she always smile so widely, or even laugh. there's nothing funny, but she was just laughing. i couldn't figure that out. then one afternoon, she was leaving work and it was just my shift, she kept on telling the other coworker that she's leaving "now" and will go to town. three hours had passed, she's still inside and keeps on saying she's gonna leave. i don't know, i feel like she wanted to get my attention or something. then a couple of hours had passed and she's still in there, in a very near distance from me STARING IN MY BACK!!! i thought what the crap is going on here! i felt uncomfortable. it's just that never in my life have i encountered a feeling for the same sex like this way. and then later she made a mess on the floor, went into my drawer (i was standing in my drawer that time) and sticked her whole body against my back for a few seconds so she can pass by. OH MY GOD! i couldn't believe myself that i really got turned ON! you know what, if she really has feelings for me, i just don't know what did she see in me. am not that pretty, am not very smart either, and i am very formal and shy. i don't talk to many people too. in short, i am a private one. there are a lot of girls out there that she should see that is better than me. but why me?
anyways, how about if i'll do something else that would make her come approach me. because honestly i really don't have the confidence to make a move. i want her to move. i want her to approach me. and i swear i will never say no... but how can i do that... for her to come on my way?
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am female, 22 y/o & married.
i am working with her, she's a colleague of mine. what confuses me is that she gives me a attitude that i don't know why... i am so confuse now. i am married and i definitely love my husband. i don't know... i have heard that she's into girls and is a bisexual. that's what other people says. am not gonna conclude about that specially that she have a boyfriend already too, which is one of our colleague. i don't know... this lady, i'll name her still maurice... the first time i work there i thought she was nice but then it turned out to me that she was so mean and rude, only to me. what confuses me is that she stares at me most of the time anyway and i've heard that she told someone she don't like me but usually talks about me. i told our manager about it. she said she talked to her, i don't know what she told her, but after that she was already nice to me... now, that was a month before. the other night, i talked to our manager on what's the sign of a lesbian since i can't notice. of course i made an alibi to help me ask her that kind. she said you can't have a hint. you won't know on most of them because you just won't know. i told her never in my life a lesbian made a pass on me. never. i've never been interested on the same sex anyway ( of course that's a lie, ok? because i really think i am falling for her. oh my God!!! ) now, the next day, maurice, started wearing a more bold clothes for her to look like a bisexual enough. i don't know if she did that on purpose or not. and then she acted weird. she was totally change. she became rude to me again, and acts like she hates me. i thought we were already ok!!! now i don't know what to do anymore... she is very successful on hurting my feelings. i didn't liked the way she dressed the other day and is being rude to me again. anyways, let me add this topic too, am not a sociable person really, and i bet she knows that as clear as a water. i don't talk that much to people at work, not only to her but to everybody. oh well, i am trying to protect my relationship with my husband here and my personal life against her. but i wanna stop my affection to her... now am starting to ask if i am bisexual too or not. and i have definitely no clue if she likes me back or not. but at least i wanna know... i know there's no future in this thing between me and her... my head tells me this is wrong, but my heart says different. maybe my head is just playing with me. i don't know. but people, i wanna hear every details from you. thank you so much for understanding. i am so confuse about myself and the things that is going on here (that's the most number one thing i am absolutely certain of).
thanks! (link)
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thanks for the advice julie, i appreciate that. however, i am hesitant to do something on action about my feelings towards her. it seems to me it's gonna be wrong (no offense to you). besides, i don't even know for sure if she really has a feelings for me or not. am just waiting for her to approach me. and i hope she will...
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