about

I'm Steph. I love helping people and I have a great interest in music, I play the piano well and I hope to be a vet nurse one day. I am easy to trust and whatever you say to me personally will be strictly confidential. Thanks for reading! :) x

advice

Well as usual.. Me n this guy like each other... AlOT!!! like alot alot! && well me n him are really into each other but we go to 2 diff. high schools. We talk alott butt I have been grounded nhaven't been able to. I know he still really cares for me, but how can we make this work until I get ungrounded?! Please help! Give me any other advice as you want.

Get his phone number or secretly talk to him over the phone. Depending on what you were ground for, why not tell your parent/s that you were REALLY sorry for what you did and you promise you won't do it again, maybe they'll shorten the grounding? Apart from that, you could send a little letter to him maybe.
Best of luck!
x Steph x

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ok i love fire and i love watching it ........ well today i almst burn down my house because i lit something on fire that i couldnt put out....... how do i stop this!!!!! is there anything i can do to stop mself from playing with fire!??!

If you like fire, there is nothing wrong with that. BUT - You MUST be safe with it. Ensure you always have a glass/small bucket of water near you so if something like that were to happen again, it wouldn't be so bad. Also, make sure that you don't burn yourself! It'd be preferable if you watched fire ouside, perhaps outside your front door...
G'luck!
x Steph x

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im really confused right now. i went to be last night knowing that my boyfriend loves me im making good money and im doing good in school. but this morning i woke up and my heart, not like litterally like i was having a heart attack. but like someone had broken my heart and i was very confused and i havent really figured it out. its like all day i couldnt smile i couldnt find a reason too. when my boyfriend called me i was very short with him and kinda rude. and whenever he'd say he loves me i was just like o ya love you too. and thats not me. im usually totally lovey dovey. im really afraid he is going to think somehthink somethings up and i dont want him too because there isnt anything wrong with us at ALL. I just dont get it :-/. im really thinking its because my dads five year reunion is coming up not like a high school or friendship reunion but the reunion of his death. and it seems like its always harder when its a 1 year or 5 year or 10 year anniversary you know...so this year im really sad. this whole month has been horrible. everything i think about makes me cry music makes me cry, laughing makes me cry and work makes me cry. my heart hurts so bad its like aching...its horrible how do i make it go away...uhhhh what do i do? why do i hurt like this? gezze this sucks.........

This sounds like anxiety. It's VERY important that you actually talk to someone face-to-face about how you're feeling. Your boyfriend perhaps, then he'd know that you weren't being off with him but that you can't control it. Anxiety feels like your chest is caving in on your heart and it even hurts to breathe. My advice is to talk to someone you trust...
Best of luck!
x Steph x

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okay me and my boyfriend matt have been going out for almost three months.. i really think just making out is getting boring for him but since hes sucha gentleman hes not gonna say anything, if i want to give him a handjob, what should i do? just put my hand down his pants? it seems like there should be more to it? i dont know its my first one! and when he fingers me.. does he like go inside my pants or is it like.. over my jeans? im really confused on all of the second base junk. HELP? please!

Him to you: Why not hold his hand and guide it down there and apply pressure which you're happy with. Also, you could hint by unzipping your jeans and then doing it.
You to him: When making out, guide your hand down his chest and unzip his pants. TALK to him though, that's really important and ask him what you can do to make the experience more pleasureable for him.
Remember, don't do things just because he may be getting bored of just making out, make sure you're comfortable 100% of the time!
x Steph x

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hey i ham dating this guy i met off the internet. we have been dating for a month and i am starting to get feelings for him. he already told me that he is opening up to me and the more time we spend together, the more he is likeing me even more. well he also said he could see him loveing me soon. we get along so well, i mean it feels like i have met my match but i am not for sure. i wrote him a letter telling him how i felt and i dont know if i should give it to him. so my question is should i give him the note? i feel what my heart feels and i listen to my heart. i havent felt this way since my ex about a year and half ago. i think i am in love again. but should i give him the note? please help decide what to do

Thanks, punkbaby69

If you're comfortable and 110% sure that there is a spark there, light the flame and give him the note. But, remember, you could always keep the note and give it to him once you're absolutely positive there is something between you.
G'luck
x Steph x

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OK,
So next year I'll be trying out for High School and I play all positon's including goalie. And to be on the High School team and to go farther in life playing soccer I really need to find a position and work on it really hard. I just can't choose. Foward I love but I don't really have good endurance but I have speed and a hard kick. Midfield I'll always be moving and usually touching the ball but once again i don't really have the endurance for it. Defence I love too there's nothing really anything bad I can say about that. Then goalie I love to be goalie espically when I save the ball and everyone cheers (lol duh) but then i hate it because feel like I let my whole team down. Well i just can't decied what position to play and work on. What position would the High School probably need?

Thanks, sorry for the length

Why not talk to your coach/High School sports teacher? I'm sure they can guide you to a position which is best to suit you.
Good luck!
x Steph x

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Hey, well I'm 14 female and like when ever I see a cute guy I fall for him. Like I like a guy at my school and another one and when I went to some men's college soccer games i like feel madly in love with them but i know I'll never ever be albe to have then and I can't cause that's like a 18 years dif. and yea. So is this normal for me to be falling for like every cute,hott guy i see? Thnaks

Yeah, for your age, it's pefectly normal. It's admiration for their appearance which is not at all weird or abnormal. Becareful though, there may be much hidden under the surface!
x Steph x

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How can I bulid up my arm strength so I can throw the ball farther?

Lifting weights mainly. Fitness tapes could help too. How about going to a gym and work on how strong you can lift weights, build up your muscles and surely you'd have a longer ball throw!
Best of luck!
x Steph x

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mmk.. so theres this boy.. and ive been talking to him since september and he tells me he really likes me and that he would never hurt me and everything.. but theres this other girl n she likes him.. and she doesnt like me bc last year she liked sum other boy and he liked me also.. so hes cool with her or w/e but it seems like he likes her too.. and he knows that she doesnt want me and him to be together.. and now she wants to fight me.. and he wants to "keep it on the low" but i dont want that... if hes afraid to talk to me in school n everythihng.. then why be togehter.. go out with sum1 that u arent embarassed of...am i wrong for thinking that way?? and he hasnt asked me out.. yet he wants me to chill with me and go to his house and watch movies and stuff.. but i dont wanna do that til we actually go together.. am i wrong?

btw this girl calls me a bitch and hoe n a slut like everyday.. n he doesnt say anything to her.. like to stop and leave me alone or anything like that. argH! i really just wanna stop talking to him.. but its not easy.. i really like him

please help!!
i rate high!

Why don't you talk to him about it, say that you NEED his help with her. If he's a good friend, he should support you. If not, then you know that he wouldn't even be good boyfriend material.
Best of luck!
x Steph x

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I was wondering if any of you had any makeup tips you could give me to bring out my face more. Especialy my eyes. For some reason my eyes make me look like im high all the time but im not!

I have blonde hair green eyes fair skin and sorta small lips

any tips?

Use a tanning foundation and rose-coloured lipstick. Perhaps green/light blue could help your eyes.
G'luck!
x Steph x

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wow i have this problem my boyfriends thinks i been cheating on him and i swear i havent and is there any song out there that has to do something like my problem. I feel better if i hear songs that sound like my life??

Delta Goodrem - Lost Without You
Pehaps that'll help!
x Steph x

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Okay, I'm 20, and I think I *MAY* be developing some feelings for a guy I know...I'm going to think on this very carefully, and if it turns out that I do like him...

How do I get his attention???

Thanks!

S

Dear S,
Do you talk to him? If not, start to. Ask what his hobbies are. If you're not talking to him also, the first line could be "Are you alright?". That way he doesn't know that you're trying too hard but you do care how he is feeling. If you do know him and he's a friend of yours, try and make it more obvious that you like him or smile at him more and compliment him.
Best of luck!
x Steph x

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What color should I paint my toenails?
I really can't decide and it is really bothering me.
Please help, thanks a lot!!

xoxoxo
-me-

Depending on what colours you have. It's a personal choice but think about what other people might like (and yourself more importantly!).
x Steph x

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Is it normal to not be able to get over the guy you lost your virginity to? I lost mine to an asshole who completely used me as a bet and lied about how he was a virgin and "wanted to loose his virginity to me too" I can't get over him. It's making me depressed and I don't know if I'm overreacting or what?

Losing your virginity is a big thing and most believe the one they give it to trusts and loves you. Please don't think it's your fault, he lied to you and betrayed your trust in the nastiest way possible. You can't change the past, so, why not start a fresh, new leaf and think to yourself that you're better than him and in the future, you'll be the one with an adoring husband and he'll just end up as a tramp or locked behind bars.
x Steph x

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Here is my problem: I recently started to work part-time as a teacher in a private center. I realized my manager is sneaky. He recently asked me for a photocopy of my course material that I wrote for my students . My students have already photocopied this course material, so my manager doesn't need a photocopy. I believe he wants to make a book out of this course material. The thing is I spent 4 whole months preparing this material . I'm not about to let someone take my time and painful efforts and make a profit of it behind my back. How can I tell him that I don't want to give him a photocopy without risking losing my job? I need the money. Waiting impatiently for an immediate answer as I have work today.

Why not say that you still have some "finishing touches" to add to it? Then, if he asks you about it again, say that you haven't got round to perfecting it yet. Just an idea, if you choose to use it, hope it works!
x Steph x

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ok so theres this guy and im like really in love with him and well we went out for almost a month and then we broke up and well my mom hates this guy but we have been trying to get back together but theres just somthing stopping him and i have no clue what it is because he likes me well that what i think because he has a picture of me right by where his head goes when he sleeps he wrote a song about me ect. and well i wrote him a letter, ive been trying to call him but i just cant get a hold of him any more im so god damn confused somone please tell me whats going on because alot of people are telling me that he said he dont like me and then when i do talk to him he says "oh i love you so0o0o much" well please help asap
ill rate high

Write him a letter telling him what the rumours are and that you're confused and you want to know the truth, even if it hurts...then, next time you see him, give him the letter and be sure to ask for a reply! :)
Good luck!
x Steph x

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ok, theres this guy and i really really like him, so i want to ask him out. I have a feeling he likes me, but im not sure about it. Ive nevr asked a guy out before so i have no clue what im doing. i need ideas on how to ask him out w/o being too direct or too indirect. keep in mind that were both 13 and im very shy. thanks! nellie

Right...why not find out what he does on the weekend, if he says he goes somewhere, tell him you'd like to go with him sometime. Or just see if he's going anywhere where you can go out with him and spend time with him outside of school. If not, then compliment him and see his responses. It's probably that he's shy too!
Good luck! :)
x Steph x

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okay my crushes dad is our financial adviser and i know that my dad and his dad talk but is there a way that i could some how see, lets call him Cody, again?? My mom knows i like him, my dad has no clue.. but then im not sure if cody told his parents about me if he like me that is. Anyone have any ideas??
*lost without him*

Hmmm...why not tell your dad? Surely he'd want the best for you and mention you. Or if you're too embarrassed, why not tell your mum to tell your father?
Best of luck with 'Cody'!
x Steph x

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Hey guys. I'm sorry if this is kind of long, but I have something on my mind that is REALLY bothering me, and I really need help on it ASAP! I rate high, so PLEASE help me.

Ever since eighth grade, my mom has been impossible at times. I remember the summer that I was going into eighth grade. It was the first time that I ever really started to communicate with guys because i go to an all girls school. so, i was about twelve or thirteen when I first started meeting guys, going to parties, and all that stuff. well, i really really liked this guy named JC. I was like in love with him. And he liked me too. But, my mother was so overprotective, that that whenever I was talking to him, she would sit next to me on AIM and told me everything I had to tell him. And she would sit next to me while I was on the phone and she had to hear everything that was going on. She never let me tell him that I liked him. And guess what? the boy lost interest and to this day I cry myself to sleep because that was my first love and my mother never let me even talk to him. Therefore, him and his best friend say that I talk like an old lady all thanks to her.

Time passed by and my heart was healed my new love, Rafael. Rafael healed me and I healed him. He has been like a blessing to me. I love him so much. but, now i am in high school. my mother should be giving me more priveledges and space and privacy. But, she sits by me even when I talk to Rafael. So, Rafael sends me a music video and he told me just to listen to the words of the song. So, I did. and the words were very sweet. But, the video had some material in it that my mother did not like. It had like contrivercial things in our society. and it wasnt evey like sex or anything like that. It was like weird people. so, anyways, she took it very personally and made me tell Rafael that I did not want to have anything to do with that. And now, when I told her that she should let me make my own decisions and that I want to be with Rafael and she should just let me do what I want, she says that I am crazy and that I have no dignity and self respect. I told Rafael that I didn't like the video and he said that he was sorry for it, but my mom is so overprotective of me!

And another thing that she does is that whenever I tell her something, she always has to tell like the entire world. She tells my grandmother, my aunt, and she even tells the hairdresser! and then she tells me not to tell my best friend since like 8 years anything about whatever.

I've already tried talking to her and it doesn't work. SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!!!! TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!! PLEASEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! I'VE ALREADY TRIED TALKING TO HER! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP!

Ok, listen...this is hard ok? You need to approach this in an adult manner. What about writing a note to your mother, tell her that you REALLY cannot cope with her invading your privacy. End the note by saying something on the lines of "If this continues, I'll have no choice but to run away and there will be no way that you can find me!". Although it may seem harsh, it will have a good chance at scaring her and allowing you a little more space. You have a right to grow up like everyone else and you shouldn't let your mother get in the way. In addition, I hope you told your new love about your mother...or more likely, warned him!
Best of luck, if it doesn't work, you can always talk to me over MSN or post another question! :)
x Steph x

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I have known this girl since elementary school and we are now seniors. we were never really that close until the beginning of our junior year when we really became best friends, we've done so much together and confided in each other so much, there are 3 of us that do EVERYTHING together. me this girl(we will call her Peyton, the one im having the problem with) and one more girl (we will refer to her as Hallie)we are now seniors and up until about 3 weeks ago things were perfect between all fo us. we did everythign together, hung out every weekend we were perfect. Then about 3 weeks ago Peyton started lieing to me and now she doesnt even come around me and hallie anymore. We got in a little fight over her lieing but I told her it didnt matter anymore just as long as she didnt lie to me. Peyton has started to really hang out with this other girl who isn't that popular at all, she is actually a real bitch, she sleeps with whatever guy that is willing to sleep with her, shes the total opposite of me and hallie. I wrote peyton a note about how I felt and how i hate that we are distant and everything i mean she is my best friend and all, and she hasnt even made an attempt to talk to me and hallie more. peyton herself even said she hated the distance between us. This morning really set me off because hallie and i were sitting doing homework in the morning before school started and peyton arrived the same time i did and we could all have sat down and just hung out and talked but peyton went off and talked to that other girl and didnt even bother talking to us. she even works with this other and see hers all the time. she never gets to see us so you would think she would wnat ot hang out when she had the chance to but NOPE. I dnt know what to do. should i just not even consider her a friend anymore because obvisously she foudn a new best friend. or should i try to talk to her again... and give her a choice of hey your my friend or hey your not... make up your mind... i have so much going on i just want to get it figured out i could really use my best friends help but she doesnt even care. i told her what all is going on in my life and she hasn't attempted to even help me. she is stuck up this other girls ass. Hallie has been a GREAT help with being by my side and actually caring about what the doctor says when i get home from my appointments and what not. so let me know what ya'll think

Why not write a final letter to this girl? Say something on the lines of that you're going through a bad time and everything is falling on top of you and you can't cope with the fact that things have changed and you'd do anything to get things back to the way it was. Furthermore, how you need a decision making as to whether you can progress with your life then ask are you friends or are you not. Expect the worst but come on, Hallie seems a nice girl, stay with her! :)
x Steph x

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